If you were in this fandom in 2007-2008 you probably remember a dumb story called Sociophobia? Well I was the author of that story and I recently got back into KevEdd. My two best friends read it and wanted me to finish it, but since I can't stomach reading it, (I was literally in grade 7 when I wrote it, ugh) I opted for a rewrite instead. I don't remember details of my fanfic, just the basic ideas, so I hope you enjoy? Please review thx. :)

It was the absolute worst kind of feeling – that gross, sour, painful wench in your stomach; the kind of feeling that cried out to you—"why are you doing this to me? I am your body, don't you love me?" This was a punishment, he thought, I'm sure.

It was lunchtime and Kevin was hungry as all hell.

'Jesus' he thought, 'When did I eat last?'. He thought back to this morning – nope. Woke up late. Midnight snack? Not even, he was out cold. I guess it was dinner last night – an extremely sexy delivered pizza. A whole pizza. A whole family meal deal pizza. Even though it was football season and he really should be eating better (he could just hear Double D's voice in his head last night when he ate the pizza), he was hungry and he felt like it. Yolo.

So here he was, in the middle of the cafeteria of his high school, about to get in line for the cafeteria food and sweet mother mary jesus fuck, he had no money because he spent it all on those stupid breadsticks, those stupid sexy breadsticks that had the extra cheese and the hot buttery spread—

He snapped back to reality. 'No use getting horny over food I can't have.' He decided to scrounge around his friends and see what he could get.

His best friend, Nazz, had a different lunch period. She wasn't an option. He shared his lunch hour with only two of his football teammates and both were absent today. "Fuckin' slackers though, like of course they would ditch practice today." He muttered. 'Dumbasses, for real'. He thought, 'can't you come to school for once? '

He shared his lunch hour with most of his neighbors. The only ones who were missing were Nazz, Johnny, and that one ugly Kanker chick. The redhead. "The blind one', he thought, as he chuckled to himself. 'Cuz any chick who has the hots for Eddy can't see worth a damn.'

Oh, hey. Eddy. He could force that dork to give him some money, right? Oh, wait. If he had any money.

Sarah and Jimmy shared his lunch hour but he'd be dammed if he actually asked two freshmeats for help. He was the captain of the football team—King of the School—('damn right I'm king') and he'd rather be dead than ask underclassmen for help.

'I guess I could ask Rolf but he's being weird lately…' Something about only eating dairy products until the next full moon to honor the milk of the Yak or something, I don't know. Point was that Kevin didn't want to have to hear about his weird rituals. Rolf was still a pretty weird kid, but his soccer star status saved him from social exile. He had some girls fawning over him at his table anyway, something about his "strange holidays being cool in an ironic way."

He sighed and looked around the room. His eyes settled on the table the Ed's were sitting and his heart did that stupid fluttering thing that happened every time he saw him. Kevin knew he found Double D attractive because of his stupid dumb hat and his stupid dumb intelligence and the dumb way he talked so smart and his stupid ass adorkable smile cuz he still had that gap in his teeth even after those braces in grade eight (not like he knew when he had them or anything he was just so annoyingly (cute?) happy when he got them off at the end of freshman year that he kept shouting "oh happy day" and dumb stuff like that and you had to be legally deaf not to hear him) and just…ugh. So cute.

At least he wasn't admiring from afar. They had become pretty good friends in the last year of junior high when chemistry was a required class and Kevin lost all hope of getting a passing grade when science and math started getting busy with each other. He had noticed Double D was like 500% done with Physical Education as well so he approached the dork one day and offered him a deal—if you help me pass Chemistry, I'll help you get a decent grade in P.E. It worked so wonderfully – so good – that they never really stopped hanging out (much to Eddy's annoyance but Double D put him in his place; "I do believe I can make acquaintance with anyone I wish, Eddy, and if you don't like it, well, you will have to just deal with it!")

Why didn't he ask Double D in the first place? Oh, right, he can't stand the thought of cafeteria food so he packs his own lunch. He doesn't carry money on him unless he absolutely needs it. 'Whatever, he might have a sweet granola bar or something. Or maybe some grapes. I hope he has grapes I fucking love grapes'

Kevin approached the table and took a deep breath.

"Eddy, I'm not repeating myself again! You absolutely, cannot, under no circumstances, hang your…unmentionables…up on the school's flagpole! Not only is it an automatic—" AHEM, Kevin coughed.

Double D paused and turned to face Kevin, as did Eddy. Ed was face down in his mashed potatoes, sleeping. Oh right, he's on the football team too. Why do I always forget that?

Eddy rolled his eyes. "It's your boyfriend, sockhead." Double D rolled his own eyes and offered Kevin a smile. "Forgive him, Kevin, and Eddy gets…rather jealous that I have other friends besides him." He giggled. His face was lit up—oh god that little dweeb is actually happy to see him—and Edd patted the seat next to him.

"Hey, have as many goddamn friends as you want! As long as it isn't shovel-chin over here, I don't care."

Double D ignored him. "What a pleasant surprise, Kevin! Is there some way I can be of assistance?"

"I just…uh…" he coughed. "jus wanna know if you got anything extra in your lunch or whatever cuz I'm like…super hungry."

Double D gasped. "Why Kevin, you have football practice today! You need proteins and carbohydrates for the intense exercise you will be performing later today! Oh poor dear you must be starving! Well lucky for you I have an extra lunch! In my haste, I accidentally grabbed Thursday and Friday's lunch instead of just Thursday's! You see, I was so preoccupied with worry about my AP Biology test today that I didn't even realize I already put my lunch in my knapsack, so I grabbed another one by mistake! How silly of me, yes?" Jeez, the dork likes to hear himself talk. "I would be delighted for you to take the extra one off my hands. It would be doing you and I both a favor, since the extra lunch would just go to waste. I would have offered it to Ed, but as you can see…he's a bit sleepy. That is, if you don't mind my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." Oh, fuck yes.

"Thanks man, I owe you one. And come on bro, you and everyone else knows that you make the dopest snacks." Double D looked at him quizzically. "Um…thank…you?" he smiled nervously. Kevin chuckled, "It means that you're the best at making PB and J."

"Ah," Edd smiled. "I guess you do learn something new every day."

He heard a scoff. "Why don't you make out somewhere else?" Eddy was getting pretty tired of their friendship. Double D rolled his eyes, obviously very tired with his friend being annoying. "Fine, Eddy, if Kevin wishes to continue "making out" somewhere else, because that was obviously what we were doing, then I would be happy to oblige. I am terribly sorry that my friendship with Kevin bothers you so deeply. Please accept my sincerest apologies." He turned to Kevin. "Kevin, babe, you wanna continue making out over by the dumpsters?"

Kevin started to blush. (Just a tiny bit, though.) He knew Double D was just being sarcastic and his invitation wasn't real, but…well, he wanted to have a little fun.

"Sure babe, let's hit it."

Hope you liked it! I'm not exactly certain where this story will go so if you have any ideas/headcanons I would appreciate feedback! :)