A/N: written partly as a development on and partly as a response to chapter II of 4n71m0nyl4yn3's Marijuana.
Summary: Sometimes giving in is the right thing to do. //: Liu Yee/Atsuki drabble oneshot.
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[I've had recurring nightmares: / I was loved for who I am / and missed the opportunity / to be a better man...]
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When eventually they gave in, it stopped hurting to see his face, to think of him. It stopped making him angry- no, it never did, not quite, but at least it lessened- and suddenly they could work together again. They just had to be careful, careful to hide the way his jaw tightens when he sees the younger man, careful not to let anyone realize what the look in his eyes is, to pretend he's only worrying about the mission. It's been hard, but he knows that if they stopped now, the withdrawl would probably kill him.
So he still knows how to be happy: his smile is not the ice-cold similacrum of an absolute soldier, and he can still tell when his eyes are open, despite the fact that his dreams are coming true, clawing their way out of his eyes and his mouth and the tips of his fingers.
He sits down on the edge of the bed to watch the boy exist.
And he does.