A/N: Hello! Yes, yes, I know. I haven't posted anything in ages, but here I am, starting something new. I've become slightly (okay, extremely) obsessed with Divergent by Veronica Roth. So here is my attempt at a Divergent fic. Just like it's always been my dream for JK Rowling to release more about the Marauders, it's my dream for Veronica Roth to release more about Four's initiation. I figured, since that isn't likely, I'd write my own version. And here it is! Let's hope I keep up with this, and it inspires me to get back to my other projects as well. This fic will be written in Four's POV. Enjoy, and reviews are always a plus!
Chapter One
I wake to sunlight streaming in through the faded gray curtains that hang on the one window in my small bedroom. The house is quiet, and I don't expect anything else. I am an early riser. I always have been. I only lay in bed for a few seconds before I remember what today will bring, and why I feel an uncomfortable squirm in the pit of my stomach. It's Choosing Day for all 16 year olds. I've made up my mind already, I've chosen. I shouldn't feel this dread. I should feel relief at the choice I am going to make. I should feel happiness, excitement. But as I make my bed, the dread only increases.
I live in Abnegation. Here we are selfless, always putting others before our selves. I am selfless, I know. I belong here. There's no doubt in my mind that I belong here. And yet I have made it my choice to leave today. That choice has nothing to do with me (selfless, right? Not exactly). The choice has to do with someone else. That someone being me father. I can no longer handle his attitude toward me. I can no longer handle the compression of the small closet downstairs, or the pain that courses through me every time he raises the belt that my face, arms, and chest have become so familiar with. If I'm completely honest with myself, the thought of staying is frightening. I have grown scared of my father. My mother? Gone. Dead. I'm stuck. But not for much longer.
I let out a sigh as I glance around my room, knowing I'll be leaving it behind shortly. There's really not much to look at though. Abnegation are allowed a limited amount of decorations. We don't want to seem too self indulgent or perhaps seem as though we are trying to be better than someone else. Everyone is equal here. I like that about our faction. It's really a shame that my father has driven me to leave this behind. But I can't stay. I can't. Maybe that is cowardly of me, but that's for me to deal with because nobody else will know my intentions. That would be dangerous since my father is an Abnegation leader, part of the government. He has a persuasive, powerful demeanor. I never want to be a faction leader. The less I have to deal with him, the better. But my name is a constant reminder of his importance, and a reminder that we are forever linked. Tobias Eaton. Everyone associates me with him. His name is known, and so that makes me known. My decision to leave today will be a shock to others, but they will forget in time, and my father will not care about my departure, only his reputation.
That's when I recall the blue glass sculpture that my mother gave to me years ago. I don't think my father would approve of it. It's too enticing to the eye. It calls attention to itself, when nothing in Abnegation should. I kneel next to my desk and open the bottom drawer. I examine the contents carelessly, until my hand touches smooth, cool glass at the back of the drawer. Got it. I bring it out and admire it's intricacy. Then in an act of defiance toward my father, I place the sculpture on top of the desk and stare at it for just a moment longer.
I avert my eyes to the other parts of my bedroom, making mental notes of each item and the memories that come with them. My school text books, papers, a book shelf, and of course, the gray cloth that fills my closet and dresser. Such a bland color. But I am so accustomed to it now after 16 years of wearing nothing else. Soon I will be getting used to a new color, new people, and a new ideology. And in this moment I am not quite ready for the transition. I will not turn back though. I have been anticipating this day for years. I have no other option. I close the curtains, so the light vanishes. Then, with one last sweeping look, I depart from the bedroom, closing the door in my wake.
Down in the kitchen, I prepare myself a bowl of cereal. It's plain and boring, but again, this is how Abnegation live. I wonder what kind of foods the other factions eat for breakfast. I think of Amity and how they probably eat various fruits. The others I have no idea about. I manage to finish my entire bowl, despite the twisting in my stomach. I approach the sink to wash my dishes, when I hear a voice. The twisting gets tighter.
"Leave them there. I'll do it. I'm sure you're nervous." My father.
My mouth tightens, and I go completely still, tense. His presence always makes me tense, but I'm still able to utter back, "I'm fine. I can do it."
When I finish, I turn back to my father and notice he's wearing a gray suit jacket with gray pants. He is looking down, adjusting his tie. In looks we are actually uncannily similar. His dark hair, his ears that stick out slightly, and his hooked nose. All things I can't help because of him. Not that I am concerned about my looks, but it's just another thing that bonds us together. I'm still tense, and when he looks back up, he notices. He extends an arm and clamps my shoulder roughly.
"Tobias, stop looking so rigid all the time. What is there to snap about?" He grins, and I feel sick. He has no idea I'm about to leave him behind, humiliate him in front of other leaders and families. This is the last thought that consumes me before we are arriving at the Choosing Ceremony, and the idea of him sitting, embarrassed, brings me immense satisfaction.
When we do arrive, my father goes to join the other leaders. I distance myself from him as much as possible, sitting where the other 16 year olds from Abnegation are. Being naturally watchful and suspicious of others, I analyze the other teenagers, trying to guess who the transfers will be. I notice a boy from Erudite, his black eyes darting from one side of the room to the other. He looks scared out of his wits. His dark, parted hair shines as his head turns back and forth. He must be leaving his family behind today. Others seem calm, and even happy. I try not to let any emotions show. I sit with my back hunched forward, my elbows resting on my knees, and my chin resting on my clamped hands. I hope I look composed and calculated to others, to my father.
Then it begins, and the panic sets in. The list is alphabetical, so I won't have long to wait. I shut my eyes tight, and exhale. Composed and calculated, I tell myself. Composed and calculated.
"Tobias Eaton."
My eyes flutter open, and I exhale again before standing. I focus on the knife and the bowls. I see nobody, hear nothing, and feel nothing. My insides have gone numb. I don't remember moving my legs, but somehow I reached the bowls, and a knife is in my hand. My face is set, eyebrows straights as my lips. With my left hand I raise the knife and slice into my right hand. I hardly register the pain because the knowledge of what I am about to choose is consuming me. I pull my right fingers into a fist to hide my slight trembling. And what everyone expects is the opposite of what I do. My eyes flicker to the Abnegation bowl for a fraction of a second before I lift my fist so that it hovers over the coals that fill the Dauntless bowl. I watch as my deep red blood trickles down my wrist, and a drop of it falls as if in slow motion before sizzling against the coals.
I've done it. I've chosen Dauntless, faction of the brave. Finally feeling and hearing come back to me. As I take my seat with those dressed in all black, I don't regret anything. This is when my eyes find my father's. He is visibly shocked and angry. I stare, for at least a minute, communicating that I mean what I have done. I feel stronger now. He cannot dictate my life anymore. He can not abuse or scold me. When I finally look away, I lean back in my chair, back straight and tall, and my shoulders pulled back. So rare is it for Abnegation to switch to Dauntless. Stiffs as we're called by the other factions. But I will not be called a Stiff. I will prove myself worthy of a new faction. And as the whispers grow loud around me, I continue to look forward, free of guilt.
The murmuring continues for longer than I'd like. I wish they'd move on. Nobody wants to move on though. I keep my facial expressions the same, waiting. Finally everyone is asked to quiet down so that the Ceremony can continue. I let out a quiet sigh of relief. Nobody hears it, but I'm sure people still stare at me. I am careful not to let my posture sag the rest of the time. My eyes widen when the Erudite boy I was watching earlier who's name is Eric also transfers to Dauntless. He sits next to me, and I see his fingers shaking. He's trying to appear steady too.
Finally, after everyone has chosen their faction, the Ceremony ends. I do not look at my father as we exit the building. The moment the we're outside the door, the Dauntless leader leads us at a run toward the trains. It's strange, but I follow suit. I run up to the front of the group, feeling free. Then when the tracks get larger, and we almost run into them, we stop. Next thing I know, a train is rushing down the tracks toward us. I know what I have to do. I've seen it done many times before. I've studied the way Dauntless jump onto the train, making it seem so easy. I think I have watched enough times that I feel confident that I will make it on gracefully.
The first to board is our leader, Max. He makes it seem just as effortless as those I've watched in the past. Because I know what to do, I don't prolong the process. I am the first to attempt the jump on. I run up next to the train and continue beside it. After I wipe my sweating hands on my pants, I know it's time. I pick up speed, and then extend my left arm out, preparing to grab the handle. I know I am tall, and can't help but be thankful. That will work in my favor here in Dauntless. Or, I assume it will. My hand claps the handle with ease. Now the tricky part. I have to keep up with the train, and pull my body in. I take a breath, then, using all my strength, I jump parallel to the train's floor, and pull myself in. A little shaking on the landing, but those watching seem impressed. Max beams at me, nodding his head.
"A good first jump," he says, arms folded. I grin a little. Then we watch the others jump. The Dauntless-born are pros. They're used to this. The transfers have a tougher time though. Miraculously, everyone makes it on. Some more gracefully than others. Nobody is factionless...yet.
I stare around at everyone on the train. This is my first opportunity to actually get a good look at everyone. Half of them are much broader than I am, their shirts tight on their muscular arms. Intimidating in looks, but probably not as easy-moving and agile. Again, I have the advantage. I only compare myself because I've heard about the Dauntless initiation, and how intense and difficult it is. Out of all the factions, a majority of factionless come from Dauntless-born and transfers who don't get past initiation. Then there's Eric, the Erudite. He's on the lean side, but the dark look in his eyes suggest he can do his fair share of damage.
Soon we arrive at our destination because Max is telling everyone to get ready for the jump off. This jump is more difficult than the last because we must be able to jump from the train and onto a building many stories high. If we don't make the clearing, death is certain. The pressure is on. I take my millionth deep breath of the day, working out how I will make this happen without plummeting to the ground. I come to the conclusion that the best way to land on the building is to not think of the other possibility. I cannot fall. I will not be dead or factionless this early on. I've waited too long to get away from my father. I have to prove to him, I am capable without him. I know I am.
I prepare for a running start, but am distracted when a guy with tan skin and dark hair, runs past me. I see him flying through the air, but it's over as quickly as it started. He has landed safely on the building top. The guy looks down and his eyes grow huge as he realizes how high up we are. I gulp. Height? Not my thing. But I have to ignore it. But no matter how many times I tell myself this, I believe less and less that I can. My palms sweat again and I get slightly dizzy. I shouldn't have looked down in the first place. Now things begin to swim before my eyes. This is not good. More people are jumping and I'm still standing here. It's now or never. I close my eyes briefly, and when I open them, I don't look down, I look across to the other side. And then I'm running, and then flying, and then landing. Hard. I made it. Now it's over. Except it actually isn't, I find out.
Once we're all gathered around, Max brings us to the ledge of the building.
"Down there is the entrance to Dauntless. There is a net at the bottom of the pit. You all must jump from this point, down." He waits for the news to sink in. Looks of excitement turn to looks of concern.
"So who's first?" Max asks cheerfully.
A few people step back, away from the ledge. I, along with Eric and the tan guy, step forward looking over the edge. I might as well get it over with so I don't have any chance of letting my fear of heights get to me again. I look from Eric to the other guy, eyebrows raised. When they look skeptical, I shrug.
"I'll jump first," I say, loud enough for everyone to hear me.
"Excellent!" Max says. Then he gestures for me to proceed.
I step closer to the edge. So close, my toes hang off the side. Behind me I hear someone snort.
"A Stiff? This should be good."
I don't know how being the first to jump off a building makes me a Stiff, but I don't say anything. Instead, I just take my usual deep breath, and before I can back down, jump.
I let out a joyous cry as the adrenaline kicks in. Then I smile, because I know I'll be on ground soon. The drop seems like it lasts minutes, but I know it's only been a few seconds before I land roughly on the giant net placed down at the bottom of the pit. I take in my surroundings. This place really is one huge pit!
Arms are pulling my off the net, and people are cheering. I notice a large group of Dauntless crowd around to watch us. Everyone is dressed in all black. Tattoos cover skin, and piercings stand out on many faces. Some people even have colored streaks in their hair. I become aware of how out of place I must look with my Abnegation gray. But I don't care. I'm finally standing straight on my feet, solid ground beneath me.
A man not much older than I am with brown hair and tattoos on both arms, smiles at me before asking, "What's your name?"
"Tobias," I tell him.
Then he's shouting, "First jumper! Tobias!"
People cheer again.
"Please wait right over here while the other jumpers come in." He points off to the side where another Dauntless man stands.
I make my way over as the next jumper is coming down.
The man has a box in his arms. As I approach he pulls out a syringe full of bright liquid.
"The first thing you will do in Dauntless is visit your Fear Landscape. Once everyone is down here, I'll further explain."
I nod. The man injects the needle into my neck.
"Oh, and welcome to Dauntless," he says.