Father's best friend.
Veser Amaker Hatch laid down on his old squeaking bed, back on the tough mattress, facing the ceiling. He had a habit of sleeping in his daily clothes, sometimes not even bothering to take his shoes off - just an instinctive gesture, he somehow thought that it was more safe. That this way he can stand up and run away whenever he wanted. Of course, he knew he'd never do that for real.
He didn't close his eyes for about an hour, thinking of nothing in particular, sometimes - of nothing at all. Then he, upon the aching eyes and weariness of staring, had closed his eyes, he immediately got an image standing right in his mind's eye.
Of course, that was Lee again.
The man he has been dreaming about for his entire life.
---
Today Lee was a little earlier then usual, but thankfully Veser was already home to meet him. He'd be very sorry if he'd missed Lee's visit, like he did every single time that happened, just because he had nothing else to wait for in his life.
"Lee!"
"Hello there, Ves!" - a gentle pat on the shoulder and back, and a little shiver following these touches were the best part of every Veser's day. Lee had a smile on his tired face, lips cracked by the unwelcome autumn coldness, eyes half-closed, a small wrinkle, more like an accidental pencil line, stretching from his wing of nose to the corner of his mouth. There was something cozy about all those little appearance details, something sweet and dear that always made Veser smile in answer, no matter how hard he was beaten up that day.
"How was your school today? Did you get some 'A's to please your mom?"
"Don't talk to me like I'm 10" - grumbled Ves, "And she'd hardly be pleased by that shit".
Lee was watching around, restless, even sniffing air like dog - dog that he was, thought Ves with a tired ache in his heart - looking for mrs. Hatch. Amaker was never fooled by Lee's kindness, even back in his childhood he'd understood too early that this kind, beautiful man had never come to see him, to talk or play with him, or even to pay a friendly visit his father. He came only to see mrs. Hatch, that green-eyed bitch that despised all human kind, including poor mr. Falun. Still, Veser never had the gut to talk to Lee neither about his mom's feelings, nor about his own.
"Mom's not home", - lied Veser. Of course she was home, always, a boring housewife that had never worked a single day in her life. But if he'd tell the truth, Lee will vanish like a dream, gone to watch the object of his one-sided love. Amaker found it unworthy and unnatural - being jealous of his own mother, over a foolish common man that is good ten years older then Ves himself, but continued to distract Lee from his mother in all ways he could.
"Are you sure she's absent?" - Lee looked lost, sad like a child that missed his favorite movie.
"Of course, I have eyes to see if she's here or not, you know", - Veser chuckled.
Lee thought something for a moment, and then gripped Veser's shoulder firmly.
"Then how about we wait for her outside? I'll buy you an ice cream or hamburger, or whatever you want".
Veser was already too old to rush to the ice cream trunk, was much too old to stand in the middle of the street, eating ice cream with his dad's replacement. More of it, he hated ice cream, his teeth ache even at the slightest sight of it, and it's cloying, annoying sweetness made him sick. Still, every time Lee invited him for an ice cream and bought him one, Veser ate it all even though he wanted to puke all along and his teeth ache like hell.
"A burger would be fine" - he smiled. Falun took him by the elbow and nodded at the door.
The weather was horrible - light, drizzling rain, hard to indicate even in paddles all over the street. The flooding stream was coming from up the street, running along the sidewalk down and down like a forest river. The sky was perfectly grey. Of course Ves preferred to stay home, warm and dry, but if Lee said so, then - out of discussion, he'd go and do whatever mr. Falun suggested. Just because.
They bought a hamburger in a cafe down the street, near the grocery store (of course because mrs. Hatch bought her groceries there, and Lee got a perfect position so he could wait for her near the store's exit). Hamburger was dry and didn't really have any taste at all, but Ves poured a half of ketchup bottle on it and chewed, never looking away from Lee's face. The table was so small they sat in bare inches from each other, and Veser used that to rub their knees together under the table. Lee's legs were slim and warm, with sharp-angled knee cups and shape thighs Amaker dreamed of touching. He closed his eyes, constantly allowed his mind to drift over Lee, but his father's friend's voice interrupted his train of thoughts:
"How's your burger, Ves? Don't you think it's too much ketchup?"
"Nope. That's just fine"
Lee smiled at him with his usual smile of a love martyr and said quietly:
"You have your mother's eyes, Veser. You look a lot like your mother", - something in Lee's voice made Ves shiver and gasp, all his insides tightening in one sensitive knot. Secretly Veser thought a lot about Lee asking him to be his mother's replacement for him, wanted it, wished for it, desperately eager for any kind of Falun's attention. He wondered what Lee would do in this situation - maybe just take him by the hand and look into his green eyes ("your mother's eyes, Veser. You look a lot like her"), or maybe something completely different, like things Veser had been seeing in his wet dreams for last several years.
Veser put his burger down right on the dirty table, not really caring about the hygiene, and leaned closer to Lee.
"Lee", - he said, moved to Falun's sweet face, faded and worn out by life and one-sided feelings, and kissed him. Touched that thin wrinkle between Lee's nose and mouth with his lips, then quickly kissed him on the lips. Veser has always wondered how Lee's lips would taste like, but they tasted like nothing, really, just slightly warm and rough. Ves nearly got hard from that slight touch - youth reaction, stupid body. He withdrew before Lee could push him off, and noticed Falun got his eyes closed. Then, when Lee opened them at the sight of interrupted contact, for a brief moment he looked surprised. Disappointed even.
"Veser?! Why... What did you do that for?"
"Lee… I wanted to tell you..."
"Did you ever think about the consequences? What if your mother saw it?!", - shouted Lee, and Veser immediately got the point. Of course, even after that all he could think of was that damn bitch. Veser stood up.
"Yes, I think you should go now, Veser", - said Lee strictly.
"Thanks for the burger. Sorry", - he walked away, as he was told by Lee. When he threw one final look at his father's best friend, mr. Falun was rubbing his lips, murmuring someone's name quietly. Of course Veser knew what it was, and it wasn't his name for sure.
---
Veser closed his eyes to see Lee again, a mental image of him rubbing his pale lips. Amaker had already cursed himself million times for acting in such a way today, for destroying his usual order of things or creating something different. He promised himself to make things right again (not completely right, of course, everything was wrong from the very beginning, starting from having feelings for an adult man, father's best friend). He'll say that he's sorry, come up with something justifying, maybe do something nice for Lee. And everything will eventually return to normal, one-sided and cold, like autumn weather.
Veser thought of Lee walking to him, thought of their mouths touching, of Lee's tasteless lips. At least this dreaming part is constant, he thought, always so reachable and safe. He lowered his right hand down, under the thin blanket and then under the tight belt of his pants. A quiet whisper of a name escaped his lips. He thought of a man he used to think of for his entire life.
"Lee".