Ah, Evangelion, one of my first and one of my favorite anime shows; I will not change any of the characters names, even though this is a Genderswap fic

Anyway, this is based mostly off of the 90's anime: yes, THAT one, but there will be a few subtle differences in it to make this hopefully unique (no applauding and saying 'congrats on getting a self-esteem!' in the end)

However, yes, I do acknowledge the error of an EVA having a male 'soul' in it because we usually have a woman's soul in it; I know I am doing it wrong, which is why I am asking you to bear with me. What I am basically saying is that what if a father or a mother can EVA unit? I know, it sounds farfetched, but love for child isn't always restricted to just one gender.

But that is just me :l

Though I really would like creative criticism or something around those lines in order to communicate on what you'd like to see and what I can do for you

Chapter 1

Angel Attack

When she got the letter in the mail, she dropped all of her things and went: despite her knowing her mother, Shinji Ikari felt that maybe this time it was different.

Shinji grew up with her aunt, uncle and cousin when her father died; she was never close to her mother, who didn't seem to give much thought to her despite giving birth to her.

Yet the teenager still held onto hope, for there was always a chance that her mother would love her, hug her, smile, and tell her how proud she was.

Why else did Shinji take up the cello or strove to be the top of her class?

Her aunt and uncle would always ask her to play it during the occasional party or would boast how bright she was, yet it wasn't enough. Shinji wanted to be acknowledged by the one person who barely seemed to look her way: Gendo Ikari.

Yet despite her mother's frigidness, Shinji remembered the older woman smile (though small bits and pieces) because of her father. Shinji loved him so much, as he was always smiling at her, hugging her, kissing her cheeks, cooing at how she was so cute, and always complimented her.

But Shinji couldn't remember what happened to him other than seeing his gravestone; she cried a lot while her mother stood stone faced, and then when they got home, her mother told her in a lifeless voice that she was staying with her aunt and her uncle.

Did her mother blame Shinji for his death even though Shinji couldn't remember it at all?

She didn't know, but she wanted to prove her mother that she was worth having the older woman's attention and that she could do great things.

Which she couldn't prove right now since things couldn't get any more worse than they already were!

First the broadcast warning, urging people to take shelter, now the phone was not any better, for now she couldn't get a hold of that Misato Katsuragi.

Shinji anxiously tapped her white tennis shoe on the warm road as she held her bag close while she looked at Katsuragi again, who looked pretty hot as he had a warm smile, short purplish hair, and a nice body.

"But I guess we aren't even going to meet, huh?" Shinji grumbled as she let out a sigh, "I shouldn't have come, stupid whatever is happening! I should have stayed at home…!"

She looked over her shoulder and saw a strange boy standing in the middle of the street; that one moment seemed to last for a lifetime as she stared at the boy before a flock of birds flew overhead.

She quickly glanced at them and then back at the boy, who was not there.

"That was… strange…," she whispered aloud, before a loud rumble was heard.

She covered her ears as everything shook for apparently a few seconds before she opened her eyes and heard the sound of the helicopters as well as tremors.

Shinji blinked, her mouth open at the strange alien or whatever that was strolling by.

'What is that thing?'

But a moment later, missiles were launched overhead and had hit their target, yet the weird monster stood unfazed, only to activate some weird beam from its hand that blew up some of the helicopters.

'Is… This can't be real! This is too much like a Godzilla movie or something!'

Shinji fell down in shock as one landed right in front of her, only to be crushed; she braced herself as the helicopter exploded before her yet to her surprise, through the blinding light, she was not harmed.

She looked up to see the guy from the photo opening the door to her, smiling casually despite the burning helicopter behind the car.

"Shinji Ikari, right?" Katsuragi asked as he wore sunglasses as his cross swayed slightly, "Sorry about being late"

Shinji didn't reply as she hurried into the car, slammed the door and quickly got on her seatbelt.

As the firefight raged on, Katsuragi quickly put the car into reverse, dodging the monster's foot as well as the smoke and fire.

Katsuragi drove like he stole the car, speeding out of the city while Shinji white knuckled the seatbelt.

'Oh god, oh god, oh god!' the teenager thought, her heart beating as fast as the car, 'I should have stayed at home! I don't care anymore! I just want to go home!'

The car stopped at a screeching halt as they were safely out of the city and far away from the monster.

Shinji let out a breath of relief but blinked as Misato got closer to her.

"S'cuse me," Katsuragi said as he leaned forward and took out a pair of binoculars; Shinji somewhat blushed.

She went to a regular school, but she had never been this close to a guy she considered physically attractive.

He smelt rather nice too…

They were silent for a moment before Misato let out a hiss.

"Oh damn…," he muttered as Shinji blinked in confusion, "Oh damn it, those morons! They're going to use an N2 mine!"

"An N2 what?"

"Get down!"

Before she could register what was going on, Katsuragi covered her with his body and within a second they began to violently roll; Shinji let out a scream as they were blown back until they thankfully stopped.

It wasn't until the blast stopped when Katsuragi helped her out of.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

Shinji shook her head.

"What… what was that thing?"

"I'll tell you later," Katsuragi said with a grin as he looked over to his car and sighed, "The first thing we gotta do is put this baby down".

Shinji nodded as the two put their backs against the hood.

"Now, at the count of three… Three!"

They pushed back, grunting in exertion, they were able to put it back on its wheels the second push.

"Ah, now that was easy!" Misato declared as he dusted his hands off and looked over to Shinji, "Thanks for your help: if I was by myself, I would have been screwed!"

"I should be… um… thanking you," Shinji replied as she slightly averted her eyes before looking back at Mr. Katsuragi"

But he shook his head and took off his sun glasses.

"Call me Misato, which I believe you would prefer to be called Shinji rather than Miss. Ikari?"

"Ah… true…," Shinji remarked as Misato went back into the car and began to turn the key, yet the engine growled.

"Aw, c'mon baby," Misato groaned as he kept on turning the key, "It wasn't my fault you were blown away… It was those mean, stupid jerks who used that N2 mine… C'mon, start…Pretty please?"

Yet the engine refused to budge.

"I'll give you a wax job…!"

That seemed to do it as the car finally started.

"Thattagirl!" Misato said as he gave a victorious grin as he looked over to Shinji, "Hop in!"

Shinji hurried into the car and put on her seatbelt as Misato accelerated on but half way through Shinji couldn't take it anymore.

"Need you go so fast? You're breaking the law!"

Misato looked over at her with a mischievous smile.

"Well, I do work for the government so I guess that means I am the law, and this is an emergency after all," The older man joked, yet Shinji let out a scoff.

"You are such a child! How did you even get your driver's license?"

"Huh?" Misato snorted sarcastically, "what's a drivers license?"

He slightly jerked to the side, causing Shinji to yelp.

"Stop that! I want to live!"

"Then don't tell me how to drive and I promise you that you'll get there in one piece," Misato said as he slightly stuck his tongue at her, causing the teenager to roll her eyes, "And relax: nobody likes a prude"

"I am not a prude," Shinji retorted as she somewhat blushed, "I follow the rules like other normal people"

"Okay Grandma," Misato chortled as Shinji's face somewhat turned redder.

They continued on in silence, the forest slowly creeping up on them until they reached tunnel and through a metallic door with big red letters that spelled out "NERV" and a fig leaf on it.

The name seemed familiar to Shinji as the lights overhead went red yet the lights below were pure white.

"NERV?" the teenager asked as she looked over to Misato.

"That's right: we're a 'secret' organization," Misato explained, speaking over what was being said on the PA, "It's controlled by the UN"

"And…," Shinji paused, "That's where my mother works?"

"Well, yeah," the older man said in a matter of fact tone, "You do know what she does, don't you?"

The brunette softly sighed and looked forward; she was both excited yet worried about meeting Gendo Ikari.

"All my teachers… said that what she does is important in the future of mankind…" she quietly replied, and for a moment, there was an uncomfortable pause, "Misato… are we going to see my mother?"

Misato grinned at her despite Shinji looking forward.

"Of course we are: don't your worry about it!" Misato chirped as he turned and was rummaging through a few things.

The teenager blinked and remembered waiting for the bus when she was 7 years old with her duffle bag on the ground while her hair was tangled and her cheeks were sticky due to the tears.

'Mother…,' she thought while anger, confusion and guilt began to rear their ugly head yet her heart was beating excitedly.

"Ooh yeah, that reminds me," Misato suddenly said, causing Shinji to blink, "Did your mom send an ID card?"

"Umm…" The brunette blinked and leaned forward and rummaged through her duffle bag before taking out a folded piece of paper, "Y-Yeah, this is it right?"

The paper itself one big black and white paper with almost all of the words marked out and a card clipped to it.

"Ah, thanks," Misato hummed as he took it and opened it up before handing the teenager a thin green booklet with NERV printed on it with tape that said 'for your eyes only' repeating below it, "And for you: a handbook to NERV!"

"Does that mean," Shinji paused as she excitedly held the booklet to her face before looking back to Misato, "Does that mean that I will be kind of working for NERV?"

Misato gave her a hopeful smile.

"Of course… but it is going to be weird since she will be considered your boss," the older man joked, yet Shinji paused; the word 'boss' made her feel that again, that she was just an accessory.

Her expression changed as she somewhat bitterly narrowed her eyes, reminding herself of what her mother usually was, which was usually distance and selfish.

"It… ," She replied as she began to tightly grip the book, "isn't really surprising… she asks for me only because she needed me for something: she's done this before"

"Hmm… Sounds like the two of you don't get along," Misato remarked as his eyes became somewhat foggy, "Kinda reminds me of me and my mom"

Shinji blinked.

"What…?"

But before she could ask Misato what he meant, the teenager let out a gasp: she was seeing was only thought to be a rumor.

"N-no way!" She exclaimed as she practically shoved her nose against the car window, "It's a real GeoFront!"

"That's right: this is our secret underground base," Misato proudly explained as they slowly descended down the bridge, "This is NERV Central: this city is the key to rebuilding our world, a fortress to all mankind"

"Um… I think this is the right way…," Misato said as he looked over the map; cool air blasted at them yet Shinji didn't seem to even notice, "You shouldn't wear skirts around here: these breezes tend to lift them up".

"Huh-uh".

If Shinji was listening, she would have thought Misato was a pervert, yet the teenager had her nose deep within the NERV's handbook.

"Where the hell is Ritsuko? He should be around here…!" Misato muttered to himself before shrugging, "I'm sorry, I am not used to this place!"

"I think we passed this spot twice already," Shinji remarked, her eyes never leaving the pages.

"Don't sweat it: they made these transit things to be used, you know?"

Yet Shinji kept to herself as they went into an elevator, where Misato used the phone to call for this Ritsuko guy.

It wasn't long before the Elevator stopped and a man with blond hair, stern eyes with a mole underneath his right eye and was wearing a dive suit and a lab coat walked into the elevator.

"Um… Hiya Ritsuko!" Misato worriedly chirped with a smile on his face.

"Why are you wasting my time, captain?" Ritsuko coldly remarked, "Don't you know we're a little short on time and manpower?"

'He sounds almost as cold as my mom!' Shinji thought as she somewhat made a face.

"Eh-he… sorry!"

They were quite for a moment but Ritsuko simply scoffed and looked over Shinji's way.

"So, is this the girl?"

"Um… Oh yeah, right," Misato said as he crossed his arms, "According to the Marduk's report, she's the 'third child'".

"Hmm," the blond muttered as Shinji looked up from her book, "Pleased to meet you".

Shinji blinked for a moment.

"Um... Uh sure…," She remarked, looked between the two men.

"I'm afraid she might've gotten that her mother," Misato jokingly remarked, "both tend to only pay attention to their work".

Shinji said nothing as she returned to the book and merely followed the two men as they went from the elevator and onto an escalator.

"Hear that?" Misato remarked about the PA above.

"It's getting serious," Ritsuko solemnly replied.

"By the way, how is Unit 01?"

"It's configured with Type-B equipment; it's being cooled"

"Does it really work?" Misato asked worriedly, "I heard that it hasn't worked yet… especially since it is considered volatile"

"The possibility of it working is 0.000000001%. O9-system seems like a good name for it," Ritsuko said in an almost detached voice, "It's always been faulty from time to time".

"You mean it won't work, don't you? The Faulty business means a lot out in the field than on paper"

"It's not zero"

"Let me guess: 'It's only a number'," Misato snapped back as he let out a sigh, "Anyway, to say that 'it doesn't work at all' will be no excuse to get away with"

They were quiet the rest of the trip of the escalator and when they had to go on a speedboat over a large lake of pink water. Shinji looked around, frowning at what would be down here, yet as they entered a room, it became completely pitch black.

"What happened to all the- what!"

Shinji jumped back.

Staring right at her was a strange face with unearthly yellow slits for eyes as it had a purple shell-like face; it looked human but then it also looked inhuman.

"A… A face… ! A robotic face?" Shinji sputtered as she quickly skimmed through the handbook.

"You won't find this in the manual," Ritsuko remarked as if Shinji was a 3 year old, "This is humanity's Multi-Purpose Humanoid Fighting Machine, Evangelion. This is Unit 01, it was built in secrecy and is mankind's last chance"

"Is…," Shinji said, finding her voice, "Is this also my mother's work?"

"That is right," her mother's dominative voice came from above, "It has been a while, hasn't it?"

Above the Evangelion and in a glass booth above was her mother who hadn't changed as her eyes drilled into Shinji's mind, despite the distance between them.

"M… Mother," Shinji whispered, feeling her mother's judgment being passed; almost instantly Shinji shut off, feeling numb.

"Move out," Gendo Ikari declared, causing Misato to let out a sharp gasp.

"M-move out?" Misato exclaimed, "Unit 00 is frozen! Unless…," The older man paused, taking a side glance of the Evangelion and then forward, "You're activating Unit 01? We can't use that EVA, even if an Angel is breathing down our necks: Unit 01 has more bugs than Unit 00".

"We have no choice," Ritsuko automatically replied, "Like you said, an Angel is breathing down our necks"

"H-hey! We can't have Rei pilot it!" Misato faltered, "We have no pilots!"

"One just arrived," Ritsuko nonchalantly remarked.

"You are serious?" Misato asked in a low voice.

"Shinji Ikari," the blond man said, getting the brunettes attention.

The teenager blinked.

"Y-yes?" she asked as she touched her arm.

"You will pilot it"

"Huh…? W-what?"

"But it took Ayanami Rei seven months to synchronize with his Eva, and that alone was Unit 00, which still has some 'wrinkles' in it. God only knows how many of these 'wrinkles' are in Unit 01," Misato retorted, " and she just arrived, it's impossible!"

"Just take a seat," Ritsuko said, this time addressing Misato like a child, "We don't expect you to do any more than that: there is even little you can do to stop an Angel. At present, intercepting the Angel's attack is our top priority even if there is little potential of synchronizing with Eva for we have no choice! Do you understand Captain Katsuragi?"

"You…," Misato paused, his voice lined with defeat, "You may be right…"

Shinji lowered her chin and somewhat balled her free hand into a fist; she wanted to hear from her mother rather than here from these people she just met.

She wanted to be proven wrong despite her fear of being considered a tool.

"Mother… Why did you call me?"

"For exactly the reason you think," Gendo replied without hiding her apathy.

"D-… Do you mean that I should pilot this… and fight against that thing I saw?"

"Of course".

The teenager remembered what happened to the helicopters earlier that day: they were all destroy with a single sweep of that 'Angel's' beam. And the brunette felt that she was just another lamb to the slaughter.

Shinji blinked, slight tears in her eyes as she felt betrayed; yet part of her knew this should not have been a surprise.

"No way! How can you expect me to willing go into the fray for you? Why did you send a simple letter instead of telling me yourself? I thought you … you didn't want me!" she called to her mother, her heart tightening.

"I only called you because I need you now".

"Why me then?" Shinji bitterly asked as she looked to the ground.

"Because the others can't do it: you are the next one".

"I can't do it! I've neither seen nor heard of anything of this before! How can I do it if I didn't know it?" Shinji wailed to her mother as she began to slightly shake.

"There is a reason why I asked you here, and what he explained should be enough for you to accept: lives are at stake here," Gendo Ikari sternly replied, gesturing casually to Ritsuko.

"N… No... I … I can't! It's impossible…! I don't want to die!"

"If you're going to finish this whining, then get in and stop wasting time," Her mother's voice snapped like a whip, "Otherwise, go home"

The words echoed throughout her mind; she wished her mother could have said something else, yet she didn't and now the words were beginning to fester in Shinji's mind.

Above, the ceiling shook.

"That bastard found us," Gendo remarked as her brows furrowed.

"Shinji, there's no time," Ritsuko said as Shinji bit her lip.

She looked over for Misato to defend her yet the older man looked solemn.

"Please stop beating around the bush and get in".

She blinked, feeling betrayed as she hugged herself with one hand.

"N… No way….! After coming all of this way… it's ridiculous!" The teenager said as she could feel the tears fall, "I just… I don't want to die…!"

"Shinji… why did you come here then?" Misato asked as Shinji jerked to the side stuck out her lip like a child, yet Misato wouldn't have any of that, "Don't run away from your mother, or above that, from yourself: if you want to prove your are more, then go in".

"I…," Instantly she began to feel frustrated, "I know! But… I don't think I can do it…!"

Everyone was silent, yet Gendo Ikari ruined it as she turned to one of her many screens.

"Fuyutsuki," One of the screened changed to a well mannered woman wearing a dark suit and had graying hair, "Wake up Rei".

The older woman blinked.

"Is he available?"

"He isn't dead, is he?"

"I understand," the older woman said as she turned away and the screen changed.

"Rei".

"Yes?" a quiet, obedient voice replied.

"The back-up turned out to be useless: try again"

"Yes, Ma'am…"

It was apparent that Shinji was no longer needed, for now she was just a fly on the wall.

"Reconfigure Unit 01's systems for Rei and restart it," Ritsuko called out, not giving Shinji a second glance.

Misato walked over to the railing, leaving Shinji to stand in the middle of the bridge.

'Just as I thought: I am just some part that didn't fit and so I am thrown away,' Shinji thought, a sour taste beginning to fill inside her mouth as she remembered the bus stop, 'I am still useless… I am so selfish…'

The doors opened to the right of her, which she turned to see a doctor and two nurses pushing a bed and an IV stand, on it was the same boy with pale blue hair, ghost-pale skin and striking red eyes, however he was bandaged all over and wore a strange white body suit; as he painfully got up, somewhat gasping, Shinji forgot her own misery and pitifully stared at the injured boy.

'But… I just saw him earlier: how can he be like this?'

A moment later and again, the ceiling shook, only this time, it was stronger as it caused the injured boy to fall but also caused the lights above to shake violently and fell down.

Shinji shielded herself out of instinct and squeezed her eyes shut; she could have sworn she heard Misato yell watch out yet the teenager felt no pain.

She brought her arms down only to have her mouth to drop: above her was the hand of the EVA!

"Impossible!" Ritsuko uncharacteristically exclaimed, "The entry plug hasn't even been inserted yet! It couldn't move without it!"

"It reached without the interface in order," Misato muttered to himself as he watched Shinji run to Rei, "to protect her. If this is a sign, then Shinji can do it".

"A-… Are you…," The brunette tried to ask, yet the pale boy was clenching his teeth in pain, "I… I…"

'Am so sorry for doing this to you,' She thought as she gingerly helped him sit up, but she felt something wet on her hand which she saw was blood.

Shinji looked from her hand to the boy and then looked back at the EVA; it almost seemed like there was a warm glow within its strange eyes, as if beckoning her to pilot it.

She squeezed her eyes shut while her heart began to beat rapidly as fear filled her.

'I… I can't…!I don't want t- no… Don't run away Shinji, don't run away, don't run away, don't runaway… Don't run away… Don't run away!'

Opening her eyes, she look up at her mother, and instantly she felt a sudden strength she had never felt before.

"I'll do it!" Shinji declared, as she knew she locked eyes with her mother, "I will pilot the EVA!"

Instead of ending it like the where Shinji is about to be relentlessly beaten up Sachiel, I ended it right where Shinji agrees to Piloting Unit 01

Thank you for reading (or skimming) and have a good day