Chapter 1: Presumably human [or Jenny]

Jenny, the Doctor's daughter, dreams of adventure but when her ship's engine fails, it looks like she's found herself some pretty unusual friends. Join the adventure as the boys from the Dwarf get a new cremate. But do they know everything there is to know about our favourite living Time Lady? Set just after 'The Doctor's Daughter' for Jenny and mid-season 3 for the Dwarfers. Rimmer is a hard-light hologram and yes, Holly is a woman.

'Mr Lister, sir.' Called Kryten worriedly, glancing at a radar screen from his seat in the cockpit.

'Can this wait 'till later? I'm a bit busy at the moment.' He shouted from beyond the doorway.

'Not really, Mr Lister, Sir.' he sighed. 'It's an emergency.' You never really knew with Kryten what the matter was. An emergency either meant the potatoes are burning or the ship has crashed, were running out of oxygen and you and the Cat are both going to die.

'What is it, Kryten?' Lister asked exasperated, sticking his head around the doorway.

'There's a ship outside, no bigger than Star-bug, requesting permission to land. They're low on supplies. Look, incoming message.'

'Hello,' Said a beautiful blonde woman flashing onto the screen. 'Can I come aboard?' She batted her eyelids. 'I think there's a problem with my engine and supplies are running low.' The message flashed off. It was a recording.

'Don't like the look of her,' Holly said jealously, also appearing on the screen.

'How shall I respond, sir?' Asked Kryten.

'Say yes!' Dave replied like it should be obvious. 'We've talked about this. Beautiful woman needs our help, what do we always say?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Good, Krytes. She is human, isn't she?' Dave checked suspiciously.

'Presumably.'

Jenny grinned. Finally, she'd landed. Despite having absolutely no idea where she was, Jenny could feel the adrenalin that shot from her both hearts, pumping through her veins. She thought she might burst with excitement. An adventure was underway. Without a moment's hesitation, Jenny flung open the doors of her ship. Her Tardis.

'Hello,' said a face on a computer screen. Jenny's wide smile dropped. Her first adventure off into the stars and what does she get? A ditzy computer woman.

'Hello,' Jenny said politely, with a sweet but fake smile.

'Who are you then?' Asked the woman from the screen. She had mid length blonde hair and red lips. What Jenny found strange is that she was only a head. She couldn't tell if it was a conference with somebody in another part of this run-down ship (and, looking around, this ship was really run down) she found herself in or whether she was actually communicating with an artificial intelligence.

'Jenny,' she said proudly without hesitating, her back straight and her chin high. 'And you are?'

'I'm Holly,' said the woman. 'The ship's computer.' Jenny nodded. So she was talking to an artificial intelligence. 'I have an IQ of 6000.' Wow.

'That's nice,' Jenny said awkwardly, feeling she should share something with the woman. 'I have two hearts.'

'I know,' lied Holly, Jenny could tell she was lying. 'I did a scan.' Jenny looked around. It didn't look exactly alien here, but then again, she was a genetically modified toy soldier made from the DNA of a Time Lord designed to fight in a seven day war so all in all, alien didn't seem to far from home. Wherever home was, anyway.

Judging from the technology, Jenny supposed she must be in some sort of ship, but she'd guessed that already. She wondered briefly why they'd let her on board so easily, but whoever they were didn't seem too dangerous. I mean, Jenny thought, look! They have a 'Talkie Toaster'. The doorway clicked open. For a moment this startled Jenny but she tried to look calm.

'Hello,' Said a strange looking man putting emphasis on the 'O'. He was wearing a red uniform and would have looked pretty uptight if it wasn't for the letter 'H' tattooed to his forehead.

'Hi,' Said another man. He was shorter than the first 'H' guy but looked equally ridiculous. He was wearing a leather jacket and had dreadlocks at the back of his hair.

'Hello, Mam.' Said… something. He was roughly humanoid in shape, black body armour and a strange shaped head that looked like deformed play-dough.

'Wowza.' Said the final man to walk through the doors which shut behind them. Jenny now realised why the computer was a woman. The fourth guy was bright in peach and black in a retro looking suit. He was strangely jumpy and had… fangs? What was he a vampire? Ha!

They were all, bar the robot (the third to speak with the weird head – Jenny had by this point assumed he was an android or something similar), presumably Human.

'Oh, go on.' Said the computer. 'Go ogle her while I just sit here playing chess with myself. Don't have anything better to do, do I?'

'Chess?' Asked Jenny. Chess?

'I'm losing.' Said Holly bitterly. How could she loose to herself? It occurred to Jenny she was not all there. Not completely functioning, being a computer and everything. There was no way her IQ was 60, let alone 6000.

'I'm Dave,' Said the second man to Jenny, in the leather. He had a cheeky grin plastered across his face. He motioned to the man with the 'H' on his head. 'This is Smeg-head.'

'Hey!' He yelled with a scorching look. Dave took no notice of this. 'Second technician Arnold J. Rimmer. Arnie. Ace.'

'Bell-end.' Dave muttered. Jenny stifled a giggle.

'And I'm Kryten, mam.' Said the Robot.

'I'm the Cat!' he said excitedly, the man in the peach. His grin was so wide. Cat? Wow, Jenny thought. Actually, that made sense. They'd evolved!

'Nice to meet you all,' She replied, walking towards them. 'Where are we then?' Jenny walked past them into a long grey corridor. They followed her.

'Charming!' She heard Holly yell from behind them.

'The mining ship Red Dwarf, mam.' Said Kryten contently.

'We're the crew,' Dave added. Jenny turned around to look at them, confused at their small number. Surely the ship was far too big for just those four.

'What? Just you?' She asked.

'Yes,' Said Rimmer smugly in a flirty voice. 'That's a big responsibility.' The Cat bounded off in the opposite direction.

'I'm sure it is,' Jenny said, unsure how to reply. He struck her as a bit of an idiot, to be honest, but harmless.

'Where's the rest of your crew?' Asked Dave. Jenny laughed slightly to herself.

'Don't need one.' She grinned. 'Small ship.'

'Oh,' he replied. 'Have you been flying long?' Jenny shook her head.

'No, actually,' she said smiling. 'First time out. Been flying for days though, Space is pretty big – Okay, so I should have bought supplies.' She smiled like a child caught doing something she shouldn't be. 'Space travel's kind of the, er… family business.' She said truthfully. 'Just thought I'd check out your ride.' Jenny flirted. What was the harm in a little flirting? No one got hurt. 'Any chance of a tour?'

'Maybe later, mam.' Said Kryten.

'Kryten!' Shouted Dave.

'Don't be rude! Jenny is our guest.' Added Arnold, smiling smugly at her.

'But I said I would repair the engine.' Kryten was clearly oblivious.

'Well then, we'll give the tour.' Lister grinned. 'You go look at the engine.'

'You got lost on your way to the laundry room not three days ago, sir.'

'Fine Kryten, you go fix the engine and I'll show Jenny the sleeping quarters.' Said Arnold.

'Actually, I don't mind helping with the engine.' Jenny added to stop conflict. 'I'm not too bad at all that sciencey-stuff.' They began to walk along the corridor again backwards to the room she'd landed in, making small talk along the way. She was convinced at least two of them fancied her already, but that was alright.

When they got back to her Tardis Jenny noticed the room was a tip. She'd already know she wasn't the best at parking, actually – Jenny looked embarrassed as she realised she'd trashed the place.

'Oh look at this mess!' Kryten exclaimed. Dave shook his head and Rimmer looked sour. 'I can't wait 'till your gone, mam. I get to clean it all by myself.'

'Right,' Jenny said, confused. 'Shall we take a look inside her, then?'

'Of course, mam.' Said Kryten.

'Can I do anything to help?' Asked Dave, Kryten looked at him as if he'd gone completely mad and so did Arnold. The three began to argue slightly. Jenny walked around to the back side of the ship and smiled proudly. She pulled a screwdriver from her pocket and zapped. It was only a prototype but she'd been working on it since she set off and it was coming along nicely. She'd lied to the crew, it hadn't been days, it had been weeks. Like she'd said, space was big.

The noise from the screwdriver silenced the men along with the pink glowing light that shone from one end. The lid of the engine clicked and Jenny lifted it up, beaming.

'That technology is way beyond my understanding, mam.' Said Kryten. Jenny puffed up proudly.

'Yeah, mine 'n' all.' Added Dave. Smoke began to pour from the engine and Jenny stumbled back, coughing. Instantly Dave and Arnold were at her side.

Kryten began inspecting her engine and sighed.

'This ship isn't going anywhere, mam. You're lucky to have landed when you did.'

'Yeah,' Jenny said awkwardly. She had no idea how long she would have to stay with these strange people before she got out there and actually got to go off and have adventures. But from judging from her poor, beaten ship, no time soon. 'Lucky…'

'And this is the laundry room!' Beamed Kryten. 'It's my favourite place to come when my happiness chips aren't operating correctly. And of course,' He turned to the washing machine. 'The company is wonderful!' Jenny sighed. This was not what she had in mind.

'Oh and look, mam! Here Mr Lister's underwear come now!'

'Wonderful.' She replied dryly.

'Isn't it?' He said happily, unaware of her sarcasm. 'I'm so sorry the Mr Lister and Mr Rimmer couldn't find it for you earlier, mam.' Jenny nodded trying to look sincere.

'No problem.'

'I'm sure you'll be perfectly comfortable here. '

Thanks so much for reading! Appreciate it SO much. Can you please just spend like 30 seconds reviewing – PLEASE! Any criticism welcome, would just love some feedback on how I presented the characters –especially since I'm new to the Dwarf fandom and well, there is only the one episode with Jenny in it. Either way, I hoped you liked and if you did, new chapter soon.

THANKS! :D