A/N (and introduction/explanation)
A series of monologues from our two favourite partners in crime, Marik and Bakura. How's life living together in an apartment, with basically no other human contact besides each other's company? (Everyone says they suck at summaries, but I may be the worst of them all O.o) Anyways, enjoy!
Practical Jokes (Bakura's POV)
Oh yes, I have to deal with a lot of bollocks. Every single bloody day. Of course there's the usual flushing the toilet while I'm showering bit, which admittedly is often my fault for not checking if Marik is actually away before deciding to leave the restroom door unlocked.
It really pisses me off because he does this, and then just expects me to laugh with him like it's all a big joke. Like I saw it coming or something. But how in the bloody hell am I supposed to see him secretly filming me drink a glass of water, or put chewed gum on my pillow at night? Or see him replace my green tea bags with tea bags filled with ground wasabi peas? Half the time, I'm not paying attention when I'm making tea, so I don't even notice.
And for that matter, how in the bloody hell does he find that sort of thing? Tea bags filled with ground wasabi peas, are you f-beep-ing serious?
Then there was that one day he replaced all the sugar in the house with salt. That was bloody annoying. I couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with all my baking until I tasted the "sugar." Bloody f-beep-ing genius, Marik. It's a good thing I'm not a complete and total wanker like he is, because he soon forgot about his little joke, and then I had the upper hand. He got a lovely batch of salty chocolate chip muffins to snack on while I sat back and watched the horror on his face when he realized what I'd done. Ahah, classic.
Though he's got me a few times, I can still hold my own. Especially considering I can whoop his ass on any given occasion.
"Hey! I heard that, Bakura!"
Bloody idiot. I'm not even monologuing that loudly.
"Your monologuing is SO loud, Bakura. I'm trying to watch Sex in the City, here!"
"Sex in the… Marik, what the bloody hell are you watching that for?"
"Because these girls are living the friggin' dream! It's so interesting, you should really look into it."
"You should look into fixing that brain damage of yours."
"Oh, and besides, I could totally beat the crap out of you, you know it. My midriff gives me super strength." (Tristan reference FTW!)
Another running joke he likes to pull, and I don't even think this one is intentional: He acts like a bloody blithering school girl.