"Pliers," Mikey said, holding out his hand to the shorter boy.
Frank sighed and handed them to him. "Check."
Sprinkles' plastic hoof was pried off.
"And now for the hard part…" Mikey muttered, bending low over the unicorn toy. He took a doctor's scalpel- God knows where he had gotten it- and began to hack through the doll, cackling evilly as he did so.
"Mikey, can I go now?" Frank sighed again, watching as the sadist ripped open the plastic.
"Not until Gerard is finished…er…cleaning his room."
"That's all he's doing? And you made me wait and watch you perform highly uneducated surgery on a plastic doll? I'm leaving."
"No, Frank, wait, you can't-"
Frank was already out the door, and Mikey cursed silently under his breath before returning to the unicorn, talking to an invisible nurse.
Frank made his way to where he knew Gerard's room was in the basement, and, without bothering to knock, opened the door.
And gasped at what he saw.
Drawings littered the walls, drawings of him, precisely, and everything he could see had some part of him scribbled on it- I Heart Frank Iero or something.
Gerard froze when he walked in and turned bright red.
"Hello-o, Gerard, darling," Frank cooed at him. "May I ask what this is?"
"My room?"
"Really? I thought it was a grocery store. May I come in?"
Gerard was still frozen, a piece of paper clutched in one hand.
"So, I suppose I've taken your fancy, then?"
Gerard's answer was interrupted by a screaming Mikey, running down the hall, hair static-efied up, screeching, "SPRINKLES, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE TOASTER DID WHEN YOU STABBED A FORK IN IT?"
Frank didn't need the answer. He launched himself at Gerard, because that's obviously the thing to do when you find out your creepy friend's creepy brother has been stalking you and fangirling your name all over his room.
Their faces were extremely close, and as they slowly leaned in none of them noticed Mikey creeping ninja-style towards them.
"WONDERFUL WEATHER WE'RE HAVING, IS IT NOT?" Mikey shouted happily, smashing their faces together.
Suddenly, Ray Toro of Nottingham Castle, complete with long, flowing 'fro, burst through the door.
"Oh, to have stolen the hearts of such gentle creatures," he announced, falsified despair etched in his face. "I vow, one day, that I shall find love by all the world. I wish to achieve all the world's love, and I shall return it. I SHALL BE A PRINCE WHO WILL LOVE EVERYONE, AND IS ALSO LOVED BY EVERYONE! Mon dieux! Comment mes douleurs cardiaques! Oh, Pauvre de moi !"
He collapsed in a heap on the ground. Mikey licked his lips and yelled, "Fresh meat!" pouncing on the prince.
"Gerard, I have a confession," Frank announced. He dragged Gerard out of the house and to his own, where he stood outside his room and thrust the door open.
Gerard gasped at the shrine of himself in Frank's room.
"Oh, Frank! I love you!"
"Oh, Gerard! I love you, too!"
They took each other's hands and left the room tango-style, dancing off into the sunset.
Meanwhile, Mikey had Ray Toro of Nottingham Castle duct taped to the wall.
"YOU WANT LOVE?" he screeched. "HERE'S YOUR LOVE!"
The unicorns that had been brought to life by the souls Mikey had stolen launched themselves at Ray Toro of Nottingham Castle, who screamed as he was consumed by the lost souls of the unicorns.
"…And that was what happened," Bob Bryar said cheerfully, closing the book.