Dear Quinn,
I won't bother lying to you, not now. I'm not going to tell you everything's okay, because it's really not. Believe me, I've had my share of mornings when I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day. But Franny makes that hard, which I know is a good thing. Maggie makes it hard too. She rides me constantly to eat, to rest and mostly to talk. She keeps telling me she's not going to let it be like last time. And she asks about you a lot. I think she took a shine to you too. Try not to let it go to your head, asshole.
You should know that you help me too, maybe more than anyone else. When you were in a coma, Dar gave me your letter. That probably pisses you off because it means you can't take it back. I'm not entirely sure what to say, but I want you to know that I'm trying. I'm really trying. I know that you never wanted me to follow you into the darkness. On my worst days, knowing that is the only thing that prevents it. You sacrificed so much for me, too much really. So I'm going to try hard not to let it be for nothing. I owe you that.
I wish I could've been what you needed me to be for you. I fucked it up. I guess we fucked it up. But that doesn't change the fact that I loved you too. And I know how pointless it is to write that now. I can just see you smirking and rolling your eyes. But it makes me feel better to put it out there, even if it doesn't matter anymore. Like I said, I'm not going to bother lying now. So know that you were loved, Quinn. Not as well as you deserved, but you were loved.
Dar wanted to put you in the darkness forever, but I wouldn't let him. I know I'm being selfish, bringing you to a place you've never been before. But this is the only place that feels right because it's where I am. And after everything, there is one thing I know for certain, your home is with me.
Carrie
Carrie folded the letter and placed it in the envelope, setting it gently on the ground, next to a group of daffodils that were just beginning to poke their way through the cold ground at the edge of the cabin. She heard laughter to the side of her as Franny twisted on the old tire swing. She wiped her eyes and gave her a quick smile and wave. Then, she opened the small jar and poured the ashes next to the letter. The tears began to fall again. But she knew it was going to be okay because from beneath the cloud, the sun was peaking out.