A Starless Night: Embry's Story
At that moment I realized three things. She was dangerous. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and She was destined for me.
Intro:
Chapter Song: Am I Missing, Dashboard Confessional
Embry's POV:
Everyone around me is sickeningly happy. All of this imprinting bullshit is making me sick. The worst part being, that every time I shift into the form that feels natural, right, I re-live all of the images that, Jacob, Leah, Seth and Quil see. The ones they love, the ones they were destined for. All of my pack, but me has everything they could ever want. I have no choice but to sit on the sidelines, and watch, or rather, involuntarily listen.
Sure, I'd had girlfriends before. But those relationships slowly got to be less like relationships, and more like emotionless hookups. Girl after girl would either dump me, because they knew something was wrong with me, and I wouldn't tell them, or I was too distant, because I knew that they weren't "the one" for lack of a less sickening phrase. Eventually, I subconsciously stopped looking at girls for relationships, and started looking at them as sex objects. I've come to the realization that I can have a different girl every night if I want to, but it feels so wrong.
The rest of the pack feels for me. They're all constantly apologizing, or at least most of them are. Leah, who's imprinted most recently almost brags about it. She couldn't be more smug, really. Justin, Justin, Justin. I swear, she doesn't think about anything else. I kind of feel bad for the guy though. It would be rather emasculating to be around huge men all the time, when he's about 5'10, and has the physique of a flagpole. But then again, he's happy, and I'm not.
Jake's made the decision to have us all start school again. Most of us were in school, but the whole fiasco with the Volturi and Renesme and the plethora of other bloodsuckers that situation brought in tow, we were on watch 24/7 for two moths after, just to be safe, and school was just ending as soon as we were sure that it was alright for us to go back. School. At least none of the pack will be in their wolf forms, so I don't have to listen to them. But otherwise I can't really think of an up-side.
"Hey Em! What's up?"
"Nothing, Seth, just thinking about stuff."
"Oh. Well, my mom and I are going in to Port Angeles to get notebooks and clothes and stuff. Can you take my afternoon shift and let Jake know that I won't be back 'till tonight?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Thanks!"
So Happy. Ugh. I ripped open my bedroom window, and as I was flying through it, I was shifting into an easier version of myself. If I didn't feel like a complete coward, I would do what Jake tried to do before Renesme came along, but before I could complete that thought, I saw a naked girl through Quil's eyes.
'Jesus Mother-fucking Christ, Quil! Can't you think about that when you're human?!'
'Sorry dude…I thought I was alone.'
'I think I've seen Kim's tits as many times as you have."
'Sorry! Maybe if you decided to leave your bedroom for things that weren't pack related, maybe you would find her, then maybe you would understand that…'
I phased back before he could finish reprimanding me. This was torture. This was hell. There was no escaping any of it. I wasn't going to find her. She doesn't exist. 'Son, I'm sorry, it doesn't happen to everyone.' Billy tried to explain. Son. Yeah, it didn't happen to you, but that didn't stop you from doing my mom and producing me in the process. The bastard. Or well, I guess I'm the bastard in that situation.
I have a shift to run …so I should probably stop feeling sorry for myself, and get my ass over to the Cullen's place with as much of a smile as I can manage on my face.
Chapter 1:
"…cloudy skies with an 80% chance of rain. What a lovely Monday morning, Washington! Over to you Sue, for the early morning traffic report…"
I rolled over to turn off my alarm clock, falling out of my much too small bed. I dragged myself to the bathroom, took off my clothes and stood looking at myself in the mirror. The mirror was too short for me to see my face, but my best friend and worst enemy was there to greet me as he always was, standing at attention, waiting to be satisfied. I sighed and stepped into the shower. At least when Leah and I were together this wasn't an early morning annoyance. It was at least taken care of by someone other than myself, but I can't really say much more than that. We were a disaster, an act of loneliness and desperation.
For a while, we were the ones who hadn't imprinted. She was convinced that it wouldn't happen for her, and I was starting to think the same way, so it was sort of implied that we get together. It lasted a few months, but our relationship consisted mostly of sex, and yelling at each other. She was living with me, to be away from Seth, and his never relenting happiness, and I guess now that I think of it, we were kind of a happy for a little while, but eventually we both realized that it wasn't going to work out. Conveniently enough, she imprinted three weeks after we broke it off…
I stepped out of the shower, threw whatever didn't smell too bad on, and headed to school. I couldn't afford to pay the rent on my house, (which was really more of a shack with plumbing) and a car, so I had a 6 mile walk to school. I didn't feel like phasing and running, so I just walked at a slightly-more-than-human pace.
As I approached the school, something seemed a little…odd. There was a tenseness that Forks high school hadn't had since the day the high school on the Rez. Got burned down, and the pack had to enroll here. I heard rumors that one of the ancient vampires, the one that was 'intrigued by the idea of guard dogs' burned it down, as some sort of lame revenge or something. People in town thought we were a gang, and that we were the ones that did it, but Charlie Swan seemed to nip that notion in the butt before the first day of school.
I got closer, and something was really off. The normal gloom was still there, the chattering girls sizing up each other's first day of school outfits, and sizing up the school's pathetic acne clad male population. I listened further, wishing I could phase so that I could really hear, but all I could hear was chattering, heartbeats and…wait, was Renesme here? Whatever…she probably looks like she's old enough to be a freshman in high school by now. I made my way to the dreary little cafeteria to get my schedule and get to class.
My morning classes went by without anything unusual happening. There was a cute girl in my English Literature class that gave me her phone number. It was lunch, and I really didn't want to sit with my pack. I'd been avoiding their concerned glances, and consoling hands thumping against my shoulder. I wasn't about to join them and have to deal with it. I searched the room, looking for another option, and there was the girl who gave me her phone number.
"Hey." I said, taking a seat next to her. She looked at my tray, and looked at me like I was crazy. "…a growing boy's gotta eat." I said half-heartedly.
"Growing? I can't imagine you becoming manlier than you already are."
Ah, so that's what this is about. Another one of these girls…I guess it's been a while. A week? Yeah, a week.
"I might be. Most men grow until they're in their 20's."
"..Mmmm." She said, obviously uninterested in the small talk.
"So…what are you doing tonight?" I asked, a little more reluctantly than was appropriate for the situation.
"Well, my parents are out of town all week." She said, looking straight into my eyes, eyebrows raised expectantly.
" I have my own place…if you'd rather…"
"Embry! There you are!" Jacob came jogging over, eyebrows raised, excited.
"Uh, Jake…later?"
"No, not later. I have some big news!"
"Jake. Later." I looked at him like I'd never hated anyone more in my life. He looked at the girl, and took the hint.
"I guess it's going to have to wait."
"Oh, Jake?"
"…yeah?"
"Get someone to take my shift tonight." I didn't look back at him.
By then, she had taken a pad of paper out of her bag, and handed me a pen.
"Your address."
I wrote it down.
"Your name?"
"Hmm. You can call me Heather. See you at 8:00"
She walked off to go sit at another table with her friends, swinging her hips in the most taunting way. I sat there for a while, imagining what my evening might be like. I realized that the cafeteria was almost empty. I hurried off to my next class; Spanish.
I stepped into the room, and had that weird feeling again. Something was off. Was Renesme here? There was that sort of sick sweet smell that I'd become all too familiar with in the past few months. It sort of smelled like Renesme…but not quite. I looked around the room, and no Renesme. It was coming from the woman writing her name on the chalkboard. She wrote 'Miss. Hale' on the chalkboard in one swift uninhibited movement. She had long, dark reddish hair that flowed gracefully down her back as it gently caressed her perfect round ass. Rosalie? Vampires couldn't color their hair, could they?
She was still facing the chalkboard as she said in a voice that Alice or Esme would have envied.
"Hello, class. I'm Miss Hale. Unfortunately Mr. Garcia is ill, and couldn't make it to school…"
She turned around, eyes averted, embarrassed? She wore a tight fitting charcoal grey suit, with something lacy underneath her jacket. She had a tattoo emerging between her breasts, a snake it appeared. It was hard to tell from the back of the class room.
She began calling attendance, calling the name, and looking up with a pair of wide grey-blue eyes at the student who had just said 'here'.
"Embry?"
"…yep." I mumbled.
"Embry? Sorry I didn't see where you were."
"Over here." I raised my hand, and looked into her eyes.
At that moment I realized three things. She was dangerous. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and She was destined for me.
Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing was important. I had the insane desire to go to her and tell her that I was hers, and that I'd do anything in the world, if she desired it.
She looked back at me, infuriated it seemed. She knew what I was, and I knew what she was. She was like Renesme, half human, half vampire. However, she didn't know what I had just experienced when I looked into her hate filled eyes.
I spent half of the class planning how I was going to get her alone, to explain, and the other half watching her deliciously full lips forming Spanish words. I could have stared at her face forever. Her eyes, and their enchanting expansiveness, almost cat like in shape, and the most complex and deep color of grey blue. Her cheekbones and jaw, angular, graceful, sharp in the most beautiful way.
I saw her like Quil saw Kim, like Jake saw Nessie. It was impossible. I had never felt anything so strong in my life. It was as if my life before this solitary moment had no meaning. My life before this was day after day, week after week, a triviality.
The class ended too soon. I didn't know what I was going to say to her.
"Miss Hale?"
"I'm busy, pup." She sneered at me.
"I don't think you…"
"Oh, yes I do." She snapped at me before I could finish my sentence.
"But I…can I talk to you about something?"
She had already turned her back to me, and was on her way to sit at Mr. Garcia's desk.
"What use does your kind have for the Spanish language?"
"Um…it doesn't exactly have to do with that."
I looked deep into her eyes, trying to let her see what I meant, trying to make her understand without me saying anything more aloud. Her disgusted glare never relented. She didn't even sense my desperation.
"Well, then I suggest you take the matter to someone who can give you the answers you want. Please leave."
Then, the strangest thing happened. I wanted to leave. I wanted to do as she told me. I ran out the door, faster that I should have, and Jake was outside of the classroom door.
"Hi Emerald!"
"…Jacob" She acknowledged him, clearly as disgusted with him as she was of me, but she knew him…
"I have to leave Jake." He sensed my tenseness.
"What's with you? Did Miss Emerald 'Hale' bite?"
"I wish. That would have been better than forcing me out of the classroom."
"Aww, she's a little old for you don't you think?"
"I don't really think that matters, Jake."
"What'd you mean, it doesn't matter?"
"Jake…I." I couldn't finish my sentence. I couldn't say it out loud. Imprinted.
I looked him in the eye, and showed my desperation.
"You…NO."
"Yeah, Jake, yeah."
"We should go to the Cullen's place before schools over and she comes back. We need to talk to Carlisle."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Emerald POV:
I'm starting to feel like such a martyr. The Cullens looked all over the world for someone like me, so that I could help their little Halfling that was having problems. I hadn't been doing anything, just moping around looking for some satisfaction in my miserable life, and I thought that maybe by helping someone who needed it, I could find just a little gratification. Ever since he was killed, I hadn't done anything of value for the world. I probably made it worse rather than better.
The Cullens here having trouble with their daughter, she wasn't speaking out loud. She was incredibly distant, and none of them had a reason for it. The leader of their coven, Carlisle, seemed to think that if she had someone older, that she could relate to, she would become the happy child she once was. I couldn't bear to turn him down.
Little did I know, the Cullen family was a unique one to say the least. Most of their quirks I could deal with, but where their alliances were held, I had a problem.
"What is that smell, Emma?"
"I don't know…"
He headed in the direction of where the trail was going without saying a word. We were curious.
About 20 miles or so later, we came across a group of Native American women, gathered around a campfire. We stepped into their little clearing, meaning no harm, when the smell hit even stronger than before. It wasn't these women, was it? It couldn't be. The women looked at him with terror on their faces, as if they knew what he was. Seconds later, 5 or 6 gigantic wolves jumped on him. The coward that I am, I didn't even try to fight; I knew it was no use. I ran. I kept looking back; to make sure they weren't following me. Eventually, I saw a tall pillar of purple black smoke. My Felix…my love.
After that day, more than a century ago I never saw him again, I never saw his corpse, but the pillar rising to the sky was enough. I knew what had happened to him, and I knew that by going back, I would either be killed, or what I would see would be too much to bear.
I didn't even process the fact that this was only just 20 miles or so away from where I had lost him, let alone the fact that they would still be here, and that there would be so many of them. But there was no way they remembered me, they only saw a glimpse of me, and what they did see, was a human.
Once I realized it, I wasn't about to leave. This was the first time that my uniqueness could possibly be of use to someone. My ability, knowing instinctually what someone should do in any situation for the best outcome to occur, seems like it should be one used to help others. I should have become a psychiatrist or something, but instead I used it to avoid the Volturi, and for myself in order to find the best meals. I'd been selfish my entire life, not really accomplishing anything, and here I had a chance to do something good, even if it meant being within a 20 mile radius of wolves. It wasn't worth it to me to tell the Cullens of what happened to my Felix.
Maybe martyr is a bit of a strong word, but I don't expect to enjoy myself, living off of animals and trying to get a mute child to speak again. But, then again it's better than joining the Volturi.
"We know what you are, and we know that you're lethal, lovely one. I've never heard of such a thing…being able to decide whether to be entirely vampire, or entirely human at a moments notice. I suppose a Halfling can be conceived, we've seen it of course, in Bella and Edward's little one…but how could you have kept yourself a secret from me for so long, my angel? You have no idea how useful you could be to me, to all of us! The deception you're capable of! I can barely conceive it! You must join us my sweet, you must!"
Author notes:
The italic sections are either the wolves speaking to eachother in wolf form, or a flashback. I think I'm made it pretty clear. Much of this is clearing up things that have happened in the past, I promise, the future chapters will be more interesting.