A/N: I gotta clear a few things up for those who are familiar with the HP fandom (and a few more things for everyone).

i) Let's pretend that Sirius Black reincarnated or somethin'.

ii) Let's also pretend that the Ministry cannot track his usage of magic.

iii) This is set during the interrogation scene between Gordon and the Joker, before Batman appears. Let's pretend that there's no one watch on the other side of that two way mirror.

If you spot a plothole, fill them yourself, since this fic is not to be taken too srsly. Mmkay? Mmkay. I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

Kids these days. They have no regard for their elders, I tell you! Yes, there is that handful of exceptions that I am more than grateful to have known in another lifetime. Funny how in that other lifetime, I had spent quite a few of my final years behind bars. Funny how in my current life, it is my duty to rally the bad eggs and put them in their place. Though, without having experienced my dreadful days in Azkaban prison -- an erroneous conviction right from the start, honest! -- I would not be the esteemed man I am today. I always, always ensure that I apprehend the right individual before I lock them up behind the iron bars that I should not be so familiar with.

This kid is the worst. He can't possibly be a day over thirty, but he is undoubtedly over the age of twenty-five. I call him a kid because he acts like one. So this is what happens when an infected mind from the youth of Generation X refuses to age. The nihilistic, deviant judgments of a teenager remain, but the imperious authority of an adult had driven him to this point. I don't know; this is what I am getting just by looking at him, and deeming from every slippery word that falls out of his mouth and aspires to persuade me.

I've dealt with worse. Hell, I've had my very soul sucked out of me. Well, almost. This kid thinks he can fool me? What with his fancy words and astute albeit subjective grasp on philosophy? Because of course, in this world, the biggest villains are the ones with the biggest opinions, and it's just a battle of who can have their opinions heard in the biggest way to become the biggest baddy on earth. Big, big, big whoop. Anyone can say 'the Joker', but I know, for sure, that the Wizarding World still trembles under the mere uttering of the name ... "Voldemort".

The Joker has got nothing on him. Hell, he's got nothing on me. I'm still, in some ways, Sirius Black. My magical abilities have not diminished, they just remain dormant now. Oh, how sweet it would be to parade my powers in front of this narcissistic brat who thinks he's the big cheese. I haven't used magic in a while ... this would be the perfect time ... it's tempting, very, very tempting --

My lips twitch into a small smirk. Anyone else wouldn't notice, but the Joker does.

"A-ha!" the Joker's eyes light up like light bulbs, and I briefly wonder if they are. Or maybe the whites of his eyes just stand out distinctly in the dark. It must be that. "Did one of my jokes finally tickle the Commissioner's funny bone?" His tone is sneering, and perhaps a little triumphant. "You're a tough one to crack, I'll give you that. For a minute there I thought we were engaged in a staring contest, heh-hoo!" He giggles mirthfully.

"Jokes are good, I like jokes," the Joker says quickly, in a tone that suggests that the topic of discussion had shifted into something more intellectual. He leans back in his chair, only to then incline forward on the table once more when he adds, "They gotta be good jokes too, especially the ones I choose to deliver. Gotta live up to the name, y'know? Heh, I would hate for my reputation to precede me and then have people scratching their heads as to why I call myself that." The Joker grimaces in an exaggerated manner. "That's not good, no."

There's a pause. I think he is expecting me to fill the silence for once, but I can't think of anything to say. I don't feel like talking when I'm like this. There is a silent battle raging within me; why is the lure of magic so tempting all of a sudden? I've been magically abstinent for a little over a decade now. The Joker finally speaks, and from what he says, I suspiciously wonder if the Joker is secretly gifted with Legilimency.

"I think magic tricks are cool, too." At the word 'magic', I blink and my gaze fixates on him with interest before I can stop myself. The Joker smile swells at my reaction; he probably thinks that I find that this newly shared characteristic to be relevant to something, and is simply patronizing me with his grin. Big-headed fool.

"I can do a really neat magic trick with a pencil! Wanna see?" he asks with childlike enthusiasm. I am not immune to the mischief that flashes in his eyes.

I smile at him in a way that informs him that I know exactly what he was talking about. In any other profession, I probably would have found his maneuver to be quite amusing. I still think I could do it better, just a little ... differently...

... oh, what the hay. Why not?

"Dang, that's a bummer," the Joker says with a smug grin, relaxing back in his chair. Why doesn't he put his feet up while he's at it? "You would have laughed, I'm sure. You're not as wet of a blanket as your other boy scouts."

I mean, It's not like I'll get caught ... the Ministry knows nothing of me; to them, I'm as dead as I was first declared back in the Department of Mysteries.

Blast, I should be concentrating. The Joker is going on about something; I see his lips moving and his features contorting into a dozen different expressions per second, but none of it is registering. It should be; I'm the bloody Commissioner now! He could be going on about the whereabouts of Harvey Dent by now, for all I know.

But how could I possibly concentrate on this verbose psychopath when my fingers are longingly twitching to reach down and draw my wand from its concealed cavity of my shoes?

"Does it depress you, Commissioner?"

He says my name. Well, my title. But it is enough to snap me out of my deliberation.

"... to know just how alone you really are?" For a moment, Sirius Black lapses out of focus and I remember who I am now, who this guy is, and what he is doing to the city I inhabited. I remember how much I hate him and want this son of a bitch to vanish from existence. "Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current predicament?

The Commissioner Jim Gordon side of me is about to demand Dent's whereabouts, but Sirius Black rebels.

Do it. Do it!

"I can make a pencil disappear too," I say all of a sudden. The battle within me has drawn to a close, as Commissioner Gordon deplores with the losing side. I'm gonna regret this, but at least I'll enjoy it first. It'll be like lighting up a cancer stick after so many years of being clean.

"He speaks!" the Joker rejoiced with a giggle, throwing his shackled hands in the air with jubilation. "Well, Commissioner! I'm all eyes! And hopefully after this lark, I'll still have both of them! Ha-HA!"

I smile at him as I ferret through my pockets for a pencil, or even a pen; I never deny him my gaze, and he grins challengingly as he holds it. Enjoy it while you can, you conceited Muggle. Eventually, I break my gaze from him to place the pencil square in the center of the table between us.

"See the pencil?" I casually ask, aligning the pencil neatly.

"I see it."

"Good," I say. I hold his gaze as I reach down to draw my wand, and I suppress a superior grin as the Joker almost frowns in confusion of my actions. He completely raises his eyebrows when my wand comes into view. I refuse him any opportunity to ridicule my intentions, as I lean forward to the pencil, pointing the tip of my wand at it. I can see from the corner of my eyes, that the Joker is opening his mouth to speak, and in one move, I make both the pencil and his ability to form coherent utterances disappear.

"Evanesco!"

The table is bare. The pencil had disappeared; it doesn't fade away, nor does it roll out of view, it simply pops out of existence. I look up ... and grin complacently at my findings. The Joker's features had cemented completely-- from shock, not from some magical side effect. His features had solidified the moment he was about to sneer at my endeavors. His mouth was agape with the indications of a grin, as if he had been paralyzed in the middle of laughing. His eyes did not match with his petrified grin; they were as wide as saucers, filled with genuine horror.

I wish I brought my camera. Then again, I could just summon it ... but for now, I know that it must be me to break the ice this time.

"It's gone!" I goaded like a carnival illusionist, gesturing the now empty table with spirit fingers. I couldn't take my eyes off of his priceless expression; I gotta savor it while it's there.

Suddenly, the Joker bursts into laughter; I knew his expression would be fleeting. My confidence is not at all hindered, because I can detect the notes of uncertainty within his hysterics. Within time, it begins to manifest upon his face.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA ... hah ... heh..." His expression visibly dwindled from hysterically amused to downright flummoxed. "...what."

"I did it, I made it disappear," I harp as casually as I could manage, nonchalantly gesturing the empty table. I grin at his apparent disorientation; he was blinking hard and wildly, leaning into the table and senselessly feeling around on its surface.

"How did you --" The Joker glances up at me and his eyes instantly narrow into diverted slits as he smirks. He must have caught my grin, but mistook its significance. "Gordon, you sly one you! That wasn't even a real pencil! It was a hologram!"

I snort, and his grin falters a little. I swallow my laughter for now.

"Right," I roll my eyes as I stifle my laughter. I had expected this; y'know, attempted rationalization. "We installed a hologram projector, in this interrogation room, within a short matter of hours, just so I could make a pencil disappear specially for you."

The Joker's disillusionment escalates vividly as I say this, but at the last few words, he pouts and sniffs, "I thought I was special!"

"Oh, you're special alright," I grin impishly as I bring out my wand once more, and resume tapping it offhandedly on the table. The Joker narrows his eyes at it, suspicious of its nature. "I mean, who could possibly begin levitating, upside down, just--just out of the blue?"

Within the tapping of my wand, I swish and flick it briskly at the Joker, hurriedly think, "Levicorpus!" and then resume tapping it. I was swift enough to have my exploits go unnoticed by the Joker. Whatever the Joker is about to say, judging by the brief look of bewildered amusement on his face, it starts with a 'W'. Before he could form any words, the Joker is hoisted into the air by his right ankle from an undetectable force. Now, it's my turn to laugh.

TBC...

A/N: Review, yes?