A/N: ok, so this story's title was something I came up with in the very beginning, so I'm hoping it'll work. And I apologize for not posting sooner. I was going through a funk where I didn't feel like working on any of my stories. Plus, the chapters are really long, so it takes a while (plus lots of patience) to type it. Anyway, here ya go!
Disclaimer: rawr….still not mine…
Chapter 1" Olivia, there was nothing you could've done to help her." Elliot told Olivia. They were at his apartment, and he was trying to keep his cool and calm Olivia down.
" Elliot, that girl died in my arms! I should've done something more!" Olivia cried.
" Liv, listen to me! You couldn't do anything!"
" Yes I could have Elliot!!" Olivia shouted. Suddenly, before either of them realized what had happened, Elliot hit Olivia across face. The pain stung Olivia's face like a thousand wasps, and tears sprang to her eyes. Elliot's eyes widened in fear.
" Liv, I'm –" but before he could finish his sentence, Olivia had slammed his door shut in his face.
Damn it Stabler, what did you just do?!
" Olivia wait! Liv!" he called. But she had sped off in her car before he could catch her. Elliot sat on his stoop and put his face in his hands as the rain began to fall.
What have I done? He thought grimly, ignoring the rain that was steadily falling faster.
EO
The next morning, the squad room was deathly silent when Captain Cragen walked out of his office. Something strange was going on. Usually there was some banter about Munch's coffee, or he and Fin would be arguing about conspiracy theories, and Elliot and Olivia would be laughing or throwing paper at each other. But this morning, none of that was going on. Everyone was quiet, but Olivia seemed especially mellow.
Oh well, he thought, not much I can do about it right now.
"Ok guys, what do we have on our perp so far?" Cragen asked, causing just about everyone to jump.
" White male, late 20's, early 30's, with a skull and cross bones tattoo on his hand. Blue hair and a scar across his left eye. Owns a navy blue Chrysler with New York vanity plates. Unfortunately, no one could remember what it said." Olivia offered. Cragen nodded.
"Olivia, Elliot, go talk to the vic's parents, find out if anyone in the family knows this guys. Munch, Fin, go find out what CSU got on the car." The four detectives nodded and split up. When they got in the car, Elliot opened his mouth.
" Liv, I…" he began.
" I don't want to talk about it Elliot."
" But Liv…"
" I said I don't want to talk about it. Now let's go." She replied, turning to her head to stare out the window. Elliot shrugged and started the car.
After they finished talking to the girl's parents, they headed back to the precinct.
" What'd you find out?" Cragen asked.
" Her parents said that he sounded like her old boyfriend, only without the scar." Elliot replied. Cragen nodded.
" Cap, I was gonna go get some lunch, want anything?" Olivia asked.
" Sure. Uh, just a turkey sandwich and a water. Munch? Fin? Want anything for lunch?"
" PB and J and a water please!" Munch said. Olivia and Fin raised an eyebrow at him.
" What?" he shrugged. " I like it."
" Uh, I'll have the same as the Captain for me, Liv." Fin said. Olivia nodded, then turned toward Elliot.
" Elliot?"
He hesitated, then replied.
" I'm ok thanks." Olivia shrugged, grabbed her jacket and headed out.
" Elliot, in my office, now." Cragen said after Olivia had left. Fin and Munch gave him a questioning look, but he just shrugged.
Cragen motioned for Elliot to shut the door.
" What's up?" Elliot asked.
" I could ask you the same question." Elliot's brow furrowed.
" Well, Olivia was the quietest I've seen her in years. And the only reason Fin and Munch were quiet was because Olivia was. Care to explain what's going on?" Cragen raised an eyebrow at Elliot.
Oh boy, Elliot thought. He sighed and sat down.
" Elliot?" Cragen prompted.
" Last night, after that girl died, Liv didn't want to go home, so I said she could stay at my place. We ate dinner, then somehow got to talking about the case. Liv was really upset about it, which in turn got me upset. Then, before either of us knew what had happened, I…" Elliot trailed off, and put his face in his hands, shaking.
" What happened Elliot?" Cragen asked again quietly.
Elliot shuddered. " I hit her across the face. I can't believe I did that. I've never hit a girl before, ever. And now, of all the people I had to hit, it was Liv." Elliot sighed, shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. Cragen bit his tongue to stop himself from yelling at Elliot. But it was hard, because he thought of Olivia like a daughter. Cragen was shaking with anger, and wanted to slap Elliot, just to knock some sense into him, but he didn't. Instead, he calmly spoke to Elliot.
"Ok, go home and get some rest." Elliot nodded and was headed out the door when Cragen spoke to him again.
" And Elliot? Don't come back until you've thought about how to fix this."
" Yes sir." Elliot got some paperwork from his desk to take home, got his jacket and keys, and headed home. Fin looked at Munch.
" What do you think that was about?" Fin asked.
" No idea. We'll probably find out eventually though. Hey look, lunch is here!!" Munch cried. He got up out of his chair so fast that he knocked it down.
Olivia laughed. " Chill out monkey boy, here's your PB and J." She tossed Munch and Fin their sandwiches. Cragen heard the chair fall, then heard Olivia laughing.
That's the first time I've heard her laugh all day, he thought to himself. He was about to go out and get his sandwich from Olivia when she stuck her head in.
" Hey Cap, I'm back. Here's your sandwich." She handed him his water and sandwich.
" Yeah, I heard. Thanks."
" No problem. Hey…where'd Elliot go?" Olivia asked a little hesitantly.
" Huh? Oh, he wasn't feeling too good, so I sent him home." Olivia nodded, even though she knew he was lying, but she went back to eat her lunch anyway.
For the rest of the day, Fin, Olivia and Munch did paperwork. Around 5 o'clock, Olivia went back into Cragen's office.
" Hey Olivia, what's up?" he asked.
" Eh, not much. But would it be ok if I spent the night in the crib? I just don't really want to spend the night at home tonight." Olivia said.
" Yeah, that's fine. Do you need to go home and get anything?"
" No, I've got all my stuff. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow." Cragen nodded.
Around 6 o'clock, Cragen and Munch headed out. Fin stayed until about 6:45. As he headed out the door though, he heard very quiet sobbing coming from the crib. He went quietly upstairs to see if Olivia was ok. He knocked on the door.
" Go away Elliot." Olivia cried. Fin opened the door anyway.
" Naw, baby girl, it's Fin." Olivia looked up and saw it was indeed Fin. She sighed, sat up, and wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve.
" What's wrong 'Livia?" Fin asked, concerned.
" Nothing." Olivia sniffed.
" Come on Liv, you've been the quietest I've seen you in years. What's wrong?"
Olivia sighed. " Yesterday after that girl died, I didn't want to go home, so Elliot offered to let me stay the night at his place. We ate dinner and then somehow got to talking about the case. Things got a little out of hand, and before I knew it, he had hit me. Then I left and drove home." Olivia sighed again and ran a hand through her hair.
Poor Liv, Fin thought, she loves him and he hits her, even if he didn't mean it.
" Come here Liv." Fin pulled her into a tight hug.
" Thanks Fin." Olivia said.
" No problem. Want me to beat Elliot up for you?" Olivia laughed.
" No, it's ok." Fin smiled.
" Come on, I'll drive you home." Olivia smiled gratefully and followed Fin to his car.