Whistling a random string of notes under his breath, Hide made his way to his familiar little coffee shop. The blonde checked his watch- he only had a handful of time before he had to be in his first class of the day. He greeted the burly waiter at the door with a bright grin, asking him how his morning had been so far. The waiter seemed flustered, but flattered, thanking Hide for his consideration, and that his slow morning was vastly improved by the man's kindness. Feeling lighthearted, Hide strode to his table in the back, passing by some interesting characters. He decided that he could spare a few minutes to people watch a bit- one of his favorite pastimes. But a washed out, plain poster posted on the back wall caught the blonde's attention instead. Hide's grin nearly split his face in half as he rushed close enough to get the number on the bottom edge of the poster, knocking into another patron in his haste. He turned his eyes to the other at his pained hiss- Hide had knocked the poor raven-haired man's drink all over his front!

Feeling a rush of guilt, Hide ran to grab napkins from the nearest server, a girl who could be no older than 16, attempting to contain her laughter. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her unkindness, the blonde kept up a string of apologies, feeling all the more distressed when he found that he had also spilled it on the book lying on the table. The man waved him off, turning his big eyes from his soiled novel to Hide. He felt his heart stutter as the grey orbs locked on his brown, fighting a blush. The other was the first to look away, sighing. Hide felt miserable, watching as the dark-haired man pulled off his too-large sweater (now bearing a dark, wet stain) and tied it around his waist. Before he left, he remembered to hammer in the code from the poster onto his phone, needing it to buy his beloved ticket. The grey-eyed boy forgotten for the moment, Hide sighed dreamily at the thought of yet another live 20th Ward concert.

20th Ward- one of the most popular all-ghoul bands in Tokyo right now, and only in Tokyo. They didn't tour, had no set schedule, no ITunes, but they were mysterious, and had great music. The only way to get merchandise was to make or record it yourself, and the concerts were ridiculously hard to find. Hide knew as much about the band as anyone, which was hardly anything. Ri-da, Usagi, Orochi, and Shiro were the four members, and each of them had a mask. Except for Shiro, but he was on a whole other level of enigmatic. And Hide hoped to be the one to unravel his identity. He had religiously been attending all of the concerts he could, which one could only get tickets for if they had the code and were fast enough, wishing to meet Shiro himself, but he always disappeared immediately after the shows. Hide huffed through his nose, completing his purchase for the concert tomorrow, and reached up to touch the poster reverently. One day, Shiro, Hide thought, I'll meet you!

oOo

All throughout the school day, Hide couldn't seem to get the boy from the coffee shop out of his mind. His eyes... they had struck a chord with Hide. The guy looked so lonely, and tired. And plus he wanted to make up for his accident, so tomorrow morning found him waiting at the coffee shop with a copy of The Black Goat's Egg. He sat at the table the man was at yesterday, pegging him as a creature of habit, but he never showed. Hide waited long enough to be just a little late for his classes, before looking around for the waitress from yesterday. She seemed to know him- maybe she could pass the book onto the stranger. But she was nowhere to be found either. Great. Heaving a sigh, Hide slipped the book into his bag and headed off to class, his failure putting a severe damper on his mood. He felt unmotivated at school that day, and instead of paying attention, he decided to read a bit of the book the dark-haired stranger was reading. Maybe he could piece together where he'd be found, or if he'd come back to the coffee shop at all.

The only thing the book did, however, was darken his mood even more. Why would anyone read anything as depressing as that thing? Hide ended up reading it anyway, not once lifting his pen to jot down a note. When the day was over, Hide was almost surprised. How had the time passed so quickly? He carefully bookmarked the page her was on, taking care not to dog-ear the pages- this wasn't his book, after all. Excitement bubbled up within Hide when he remembered that he had a concert tonight, and he eagerly rushed home to double check that everything was in order for tonight. He input the address that came with the purchase of his ticket on his phone, slipped his headphones on, and pressed play.

The place was already crowded when he got there. Damn, he hadn't left early enough again, and he was forced to take a position much farther back from the stage than he would have liked. However, he could still see. The only real downside was being packed in like a sardine, but what could he do, it was a concert with standing room only. A hush fell over the excited crowd when the band members started filing on. Hide listened to someone in front of him introducing them to his friend, who must have been a first-timer. Ri-da, the big, burly drum player received a hearty welcome- despite being shut off the the back most of the time, he had probably the second biggest fanbase, behind Shiro.

"The big guy, on the drums. He was nicknamed Ri-da by a couple of fangirls, and it stuck. His mask is kinda plain and barely covers his face, but no one can find out who he is," Hide heard.

"The next guy is Orochi, thusly named because of his serpentine mask that covers his entire face," Hide nearly laughed as the dude explaining tried to sound mysterious. He must have been in high school. "He plays the bass, but when he sings, the crowd always goes wild."

"Usagi is the only girl of the band, and she plays the guitar closer up to the front of the stage. If she starts jumping, you start jumping, we call it bunny hopping. Her mask covers her lower face, like Ri-da's, but has the nose and mouth of a rabbit." From under the hood she always wore, blonde, almost light pink hair spilled out, and the fans often fought over whether it was a wig or her natural hair, Hide silently added, but he had a feeling the two high schoolers in front of him weren't concerned with her hair by the way the newbie was gawking at her legs.

"Hehe, if you're close enough to the front, they say you can see up her skirt when she hops." The two chuckled a bit, and Hide felt bile rise in his throat.

"Hey assholes, Usagi is a person, not an object. Don't treat her like one." Hide hissed, feeling defensive of the poor girl. Rumor had it she was only in high school.

"Hey, man, if she don't wanna get looked at, then why's she on stage?" One of them laughed, and Hide was forced to drop the matter when Shiro finally made his debut. He tried to let the appearance of his favorite performer ease the burn of anger, but even the familiar white hair, the dark eyepatch that stood out against his pale skin, the one kakugen eye, the tight leather couldn't distract him. He just wanted to get close enough to Shiro to maybe learn his name, not a color, how he got into music, where he gets his lyrics from. Hide's heard these songs hundreds of times, and he ran his fingers over the cool metal of his tape recorder in his pocket, waiting to record the scoop of the century instead of rock music. The blonde just couldn't get into the right headspace, and, after the show ended with each member wishing them well, Hide spared a single, lingering glance at Shiro before he left for his apartment.

As Hide layed in bed, his mind tossed a very unwelcome idea around. He desperately wanted to meet Shiro, to find out what made him tick, and even had maybe a little crush on him. Hide groaned as he grabbed his headphones from his nightstand, slipping them snugly over his ears. He clicked on a tinny recording of a Shiro solo, and wondered if he was a hypocrite for judging those high schoolers at the concert...

oOo

"Kaneki Ken."

"Sasaki Haise."

"Shiro." Kaneki sighed and slipped his white wig off of his natural, dark-colored hair. There was something about the way that Shiro rolled off his tongue that bothered him. Ah well, he would have liked Sasaki better, but Rize said it was probably for the better that the fans nicknamed him something simpler. Fans. Kaneki's stomach rolled. Even after two years, he couldn't believe his luck. Touka slipped into his dressing room, which was really just a fancy term for "the empty room I put your duffel bag of clothes in, Kaneki-kun~" as he removed his eyepatch, hating the way his eyes looked so mismatched. Kaneki quickly let his ghoul eye revert to a normal grey as Touka walks over to the far side of the small room to lean against the wall.

"You were off your game tonight, loser." She deadpans, locking eyes with him in the mirror. She still had her wig and kakugen on, but she had taken off her mask and changed into her shorts and jacket. He bites his lip, contemplating his options. Touka moves to him, laying a reassuring (or threatening- he can never tell with her) hand on his shoulder, and he relents. Nishiki would laugh at his lack of resistance.

"Touka, it's the middle of the week. I'm worried about falling behind in class, see. My grades have been lagging, especially for-"

"Yeah, yeah, a student of your caliber, jeez." Kaneki thought she might tease him more, but she got quiet. It was moments like these that made him remember why they were friends in the first place.

"I feel you. That stupid Nishiki thinks he can boss us around, but we're still concerned about school. I'll try and make sure that we only do shows on weekends or holidays, for both of us, alright Kaneki?" The half-ghoul smiled. She tried to make it seem like she did things for herself, but Touka was a marshmallow at heart. Now, if only Nishiki were so easy to read... As if summoned by his thoughts, the ghoul himself burst through the door.

"What's this about 'stupid Nishiki', moron?" He spat, leaving the door wide open and leaning against the wall. He held up a hand to Touka, who looked ready to tear his head off, and looked to Kaneki.

"You realize that this decision will drastically reduce our income, right? And the only one with a stable job is Touka? At any rate, Rize-san's not going to like it, Kaneki." He fought down the urge to downplay his need for this change- he drew his courage from Shiro's persona, instead of his usual selfless demeanor.

"Nishio-senpai, though I realize it might be troubling for you, Touka and I need to do well in school as well as onstage." Nishiki's face contorted in disdain for Kaneki's nickname and at the subtle implication that he didn't care about his schoolwork. Nice one, Shiro. Touka muttered something that only Nishiki could hear, something that might have been agreement, and he rounded on her. Kaneki stifled a fit of laughter as the two fought, trading insults and the usual banter. He made the mistake of resting his tired eyes for just a second too long, regaining enough sense to make out Banjou's voice before he totally passed out for the night.

When Kaneki woke, it was groggily and reluctantly. For all the things that could be said about him, a morning person he was not. Inwardly cringing at the thought of poorly made quick-coffee, Kaneki motivated himself to get dressed and act like a functioning member of society with the promise of Anteiku coffee instead. Humming under his breath, he toed on his shoes, gave himself a quick glance in the mirror, and started off for the café. The sunlight outside seemed to assault his eyes, and Kaneki had to stifle a yawn more than once. Vaguely, the half-ghoul wondered how many hours early of sleep he got last night, and he concluded not many, as he spent a good portion of time pushing the pull door of Anteiku.

However, the sight of a familiar stranger sitting at his usual table, his table, was like an unbidden shot of espresso. He hesitantly approached the blonde, who looked up at his approach. A thousand-watt smile that made Kaneki feel warm inside graced his tired features as he held up a book. When Kaneki read the title, his eyes widened.

"Hehe, I thought I owed you one after ruining your copy. It's actually pretty good, but I don't know why anyone would write something that made their readers feel incredibly horrible." He chirped, flagging a waiter down. Before Kaneki could get a word out, the blonde was back to speaking.

"I'll have a cappuccino today, please! And whatever this lovely gentleman is having, thank you~" the stranger ordered, and Kaneki hid his embarrassment by sitting down and studying the other. He was much too kind to refuse the charity of someone, especially if he felt guilty after the other day. His clothes were very loud, bright colors, that matched his personality and his infectious attitude. He reminded Kaneki of a sunflower. It took a moment before he realized that the waiter was still waiting for his order, and he flushed.

"Um, just black for me, please, and thank you," Kaneki couldn't miss the teasing smile that played at the blonde's lips, and he turned his head down, hiding his face. So shy- so cowardly.

"Hmm. I'm Hideyoshi, but please, call me Hide. Have we met before? You seem awfully familiar." The stranger, er, Hide asked, and Kaneki tried to mask his panic. He remembered that the blonde was buying 20th Ward tickets, and one slip up could cost the half-ghoul his cover. He noted the headphones around Hide's neck, and concluded that he must be a huge music fan, paired with the enthusiasm for his concert, did not bode well for Kaneki.

"K-Kaneki Ken. And no, I don't think I've met you before today, sorry..." He tried to sound demure, apologetic, so un-Shiro like that he hardly believed himself.

"Oh, no worries, man, I was just curious!" Their coffee then was delivered by none other than Touka, who gave Kaneki a patronizing grin, before strutting off. Kaneki and Hide spent the next few minutes discussing Takatsuki Sen, and why Kaneki found their novels so enticing. He made sure not to get too personal of course, something that Hide definitely picked up on, but didn't mention. By the time Touka returned to get their empty cups, Hide was once again studying the half-ghoul's face.

"Hide-kun, thank you so much for the coffee, and the book, but I really must be getting to class," Kaneki cloaked the worry in his voice with gratefulness, an emotion that he didn't have to fake. It had been a long while since anyone had gone out of his way to help him. He rushed off before Hide could say much else, or before he said something incriminating.

"Huh, he certainly is an interesting fellow, isn't he?" Hide mused as he paid for the coffee, startling a laugh out of his waitress.

"Oh, he's not nearly that interesting, I think he just has a crush on you, sir. I've never seen him act like that." She continued laughing to herself, as if at an inside joke. Hide shook his head, laughing silently at the strange man with the oversized sweaters and bad taste in literature as he departed, calling a final "thanks!" at the door.

oOo

Hide observed the world with his sight alone, ears being blown out by some poppy cover of an Orochi-centered song. He could never ever get a recording good enough of the bassist. He sighed as his thoughts wandered along with his feet, unable to truly focus since his encounter with Kaneki. There was just something about him that was alluring to Hide, but he hadn't returned to the coffee shop. Hide was wrong about him being a creature of habit, then. Wrong. Well, he knew what they said about assuming. Looking up from his shuffling feet, he realized that he had no clue where he was. Aw, great. Taking a deep, calming breath, he turned in the direction of the brightest building, as he was in a quite run-down part of town.

It was a music store, Hide saw with a bit of excitement. That quickly evaporated, however, at the sight of a threatening-looking ghoul standing behind the counter on the right-hand side of the store. His eyes belayed his nature, and the red pupils followed him eerily as he hesitantly entered.

"Good afternoon, young man. Follow me." A tall, white haired man who Hide could easily guess was also a ghoul invited him further back into the store, to where they stocked the CDs. He browsed carefully, cautiously, planning to buy some random item and abscond, until something amazing caught his eye.

"No way..." he murmured, sliding the 20th Ward CD off of the shelves, and holding it up to the worker.

"Ah, yes. We are currently the only store to carry 20th Ward merchandise, although we hear they're looking to expand." He smiled, and Hide decided he liked this man a lot more than the pierced, dark-eyed ghoul at the front. A bell chimes distantly as Hide studies the back- 10 amazing songs, all hopefully recorded in an actual studio!

"Wow. This is amazing! I've been following 20th Ward for almost two years, listening to crappy recordings on my phone, God, I love them." Hide raved, and nearly squealed when Kaneki's head poked out from behind a shelf. He seemed a bit flushed- was he blushing?

"Hide-kun! It's been a while, hasn't it?" Kaneki laughed, surprised, walking over to the white haired man.

"Yomo-san, I need guitar strings. Please." Hide felt his heart pound at the sight of the familiar stranger, a feeling very foreign to him blooming in his chest. Hmm, how interesting indeed.

"For the guitar, or for the bass?" The teasing question made it seem as though Kaneki had been in this position before. Hey. Could he play the guitar?

"Ah, the bass, please. Someone cut the old ones..." Yomo-san barked out a laugh and walked off, presumably to find the strings, leaving Hide and Kaneki alone. Hide felt an unbidden fluttering in his stomach. Why was he so nervous?

"Um, do you play, Kaneki? The guitar, I mean?" Kaneki looked from the spot in the wall that he was burning a hole in to Hide, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but I'm buying these for a friend..." Hide thought he was going to let the subject drop into more awkward silence, but yet again, the dark-haired man surprised him. "Do you play, Hide? Or just listen?"

"N-no, I just listen, though I did take those stupid piano lessons when I was a kid. None of it stuck, it was just so boring!" Hide replied, running a hand through his hair. He needed to rectify this awkwardness. Mission become friends was a go!

"Ahaha, I took lessons too, although I can still play pretty well." Kaneki laughed, but Hide could sense an underlying tint of nervousness in his tone. He didn't like talking about himself? Or maybe just talking in general? Why was Kaneki so unusually difficult to read...?

"Hey, you seem kinda nervous. Is it being in this part of town, or just me that's making you all flustered?" Ok wow Hide brain-to-mouth filter engage! Kaneki sputtered, and Hide panicked. But then Kaneki took a deep breath.

"Actually, I come here quite often... so I guess it must be the latter." Kaneki muttered, unable to keep the heat from his face. Woah. Was Kaneki flirting with him? And so shyly, too. How cute! Hide flashed a smile that he hoped was reassuring, and was suddenly stuck by inspiration. He turned and his eyes roved the back wall, looking for- yes!

"Here, I have a good CD in my hand right now, and I think it'd do you good to take a listen." Hide said, and Kaneki's eyes flashed something like fear. Hide didn't know what to make of that. He popped the CD in, looking at the back of the case for the song he wanted. Satisfied, he turned back to Kaneki, who honestly looked like he was about to be sick.

"Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?" Hide asked as the music started to play. Orochi's voice wrapped around them, without any instruments backing him.

If I hurt you

Would you leave me

Or forgive me

Even though I don't deserve you...

Hide smiled as Kaneki started to relax, looking tentatively from the CD player to Hide. Shiro's part kicked in, and Hide could almost feel the emotion coiled in his words. Kaneki looked contemplative, listening.

If you leave, where would I go?

Because you, you are my home,

And I fall into you like I do...

Hide closed his eyes and imagined that Shiro was singing directly to him, and he could almost believe it, now that he could clearly hear the music. The guitars kicked in, taking the piece from almost sad to something like anger. The drums beat at Hide's heart, and he almost completely forgot Kaneki was there with him.

"You know, two years ago, I hated myself." Hide started, surprising Kaneki. Hide was quiet. Why was he telling Kaneki this? The music behind his words strengthened him, though, and he pressed on.

"I realized all of my relationships were superficial, and I wasn't really living at all. I was thinking about..." He trailed off, and the look on Kaneki's face told him that he knew exactly what Hide couldn't say.

"But then," Hide's voice cracked, holy shit, was he crying, half-smiling, "I found 20th Ward, and the very first song I listened to was Leaving It Behind. It's about dying, and fearing that no one will remember you when you're gone, and whether it would be worth it to voluntarily die. Shiro, that's the singer, I think he saved my life. Um, so this band means a lot to me. Because I realized I didn't want to be forgotten, and so I started going out of my way to help people, to always have a smile on my face. People remember me now, even if they don't get my name, and who knows? Maybe they needed that little pick me up, I don't know. But... yeah. I'm sorry for troubling you..." Hide finished sheepishly, noticing that Kaneki looked like he was about to cry. But then, he smiled the biggest that Hide's ever seen him.

"I'm glad you're here, Hide." He said, softly, and makes his way back towards the front. Hide doesn't miss the way he blushes all the way to his roots, though, and he doesn't ignore the airy, soft warm feeling that he gets at the sight. Hide listens to the music a bit longer, daydreaming about Kaneki Ken.

How do you stand it, I'll never understand

The way you don't shudder at the touch of my hand

I am broken, broken, broken

When you look at me, what can you see?

Do you see the scars that make me, me?

Or do you see a mess, a mess that's

Broken, broken after all?

Hide ejects the CD with a small smile, putting it back in the case and going to the counter. Both the white haired man, Yomo, and the other ghoul stood behind it, though the latter was no longer leering at him. He put the CD up to pay for it, and Yomo simply bagged it and handed it back.

"It's already paid for. Enjoy it, alright?" Yomo smiled, and Hide grinned back. If Kaneki thought he could get away with this, oh boy, had he thought wrong...

oOo

Kaneki only returned when he was sure Hide had left, CD in hand and a dopey smile on his face. Oh, Hide. He thought back to what the blonde had said as he approached Uta and Yomo. "I think he saved my life."

"Yomo-san, Uta-san," he began, getting their attention. "Touka and I can only do performances that don't interfere with our school times. Can you call Rize-san?"

"Always getting us to do your dirty work, Haise." Uta muttered, leaning forward on the counter. "And who gives up their career for education? It's absurd..."

"Don't listen to him, Kaneki. We dropped out without second thought, and look at us now, running a music store and helping a band of unruly brats. I don't advise it." Yomo said dryly, pulling out his cell-phone.

"Would you like Rize's number, just in case?" Yomo asked, dialing.

"No, thank you. She'd just change it too quickly, and Banjou would hound me for it. And I'm not giving up, I'm just prioritizing." Kaneki said, watching carefully as Rize predictably didn't answer. Yomo held out the phone to him, and he glared as the beep played.

"Rize-san, it's Shiro. We need to talk about our concert dates. Please call back or visit so that we can discuss my concerns. Thank you." He said smoothly, earning an impressed look from Uta.

"One thing you do have down is your stage personality, Kaneki. The way you can switch between yourselves so easily makes me almost envious."

"Thank you, I think."

"Speaking of personality, who was Sunshine? And why did you seem so flustered, hmm?" Yomo teased, smirking at Kaneki's blush.

"Ah, no, he's just a fan! And it's always weird to listen to my own music, you know!" Kaneki deflected, and Yomo and Uta shared a glance.

"Oh really, Kaneki?" Uta said, passing him a piece of paper. It took Kaneki a moment to process the scrawled handwriting, and when he realized what he was reading, his heart fluttered.

dammit kaneki, now i owe you one again. txt me sometime, we can work something out~ Hide

Beneath that, Hide's number was written out with a smiley face tacked on the end. Oh, my. God. Hide was amazing. Kaneki tucked the paper in his pocket, ignoring Uta's leering grin.

Bonus 1- Touka

When Touka was small, her father would often say, "Music is like a light in the dark, Touka! With it, you can never ever get lost. Rely on music, because it can get you through anything." She believed him- when she scraped her knees, he'd softly sing to her, and she'd feel immensely better. When she was scared, he'd help her play a chord on his guitar. When she wanted to stop going to school because the other kids said they didn't want to play with a ghoul, he let her, and she learned music instead. And when her little brother went through any of this, she would sing for him, play for him.

Music tied their small family together. Whenever they couldn't afford the synthetic meat that would drastically rise in price from time to time, he would teach them a new song and encourage them to not lose themselves, to never lose themselves. Ayato didn't take to it as much, but to Touka, music was a lifeline. By the time she was 8, she could play the guitar and read music. And by the time she was 9, her father was deep into a drug addiction and the underworld of Tokyo. Touka was left to raise Ayato by herself, with little help from her dad, until he died when she was 11, leaving her and Ayato completely alone.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Because they had his guitar, and she played for money while she sent Ayato to school, until she was old enough to hold a job, and then she only played in her free time. Until Ayato realized the true cruelty of the world, when he turned on Touka, calling her a coward for hiding behind her music instead of facing her problems. Their fights slowly increased in interval and intensity, until he finally left, with one final bite that she was going to die just like Dad- alone, and a coward. At that moment, she put up her guitar and her dreams, throwing herself into her work to hide her grief. To distract herself, she re-entered school. She became cold, and hard. She didn't want to be hurt like that ever again.

Ayato was right. She was a coward.

In her first year of high school, she had no friends, no family, just her job and her school work. She struggled to make ends meet, and she was horribly, horribly lonely.

oOo

Touka studied the dark-haired boy with his head down, wiping down her tray absentmindedly. Seeing that no one else was bothering to serve him, Touka huffed and straightened her uniform. It was way too early in the morning for bullshit, and she had to go to school in just over an hour.

"Good morning, sir. May I take your order?" She forced her voice to be cheery and light, though she could sense the plastic quality herself, and winced internally. He raised his head sharply, and Touka was shocked to see tear tracks on his cheeks.

"Excuse me, sir..." She trailed off, recognizing her own agony in his big, grey eyes. Well, eye- one was covered by a medical eyepatch. She blushed and he seemed to panic for a moment.

"Oh, no, no, please, I'm so sorry to have troubled you! I'll take... ah. Just a black coffee, I guess." He sounded forlorn, and Touka felt her heart clench. Oh no, no, no, she couldn't get sucked in to anything. As if flipping a switch, she choked down her feelings and scuttled off to get his drink, unable to keep her mind from wondering how she could help him. When she brought him his coffee, he looked a bit better, but not much. He looked gaunt, and pale, like he hadn't eaten in a while. That, she could understand.

"Here's your drink. And don't worry, it's on me, alright?" She mustered a smile, hating that someone felt as bad as she had once. The boy looked up at her, expression teetering from grateful to reluctance. Reluctance to accept her pity. Yet another thing she understood well. She sighed, and prepared to leave again, when he spoke.

"Hey... do you go to high school around here?" He asked, tentatively bringing a hand up to touch his chin thoughtfully. "Aren't you that sophmore that beat up those seniors when they were teasing you?" His eyes widened, and he flushed beet red, as if he said something he shouldn't have.

"They weren't teasing me. They were stereotyping me. And it wasn't just me, either. They were picking on younger kids, too, though they leave that out when they talk about me, huh?" Touka replied, not angry, just tired. Besides, she was too distant to actually care about what people said behind her back. Wasn't she?

"Stereotyping?" The dark-haired boy questioned aloud. Almost as if he were actually concerned.

"I'm a ghoul." She bit shortly, waiting for him to scoot back or avert his eyes.

"O-oh..." Alright, Touka was finished, she didn't want to talk to customers anymore, she didn't want to talk to anyone-

"Can you help me?" He pleaded softly, and Touka's eyes shot back down to him, pausing with her tray trembling slightly in her hands. Her? Help? She couldn't, she wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough-

"Oh, well, I mean, I hardly know you, I'm so sorry, miss! It's just-" his fists clenched on the table, and he met her eyes. "I really need someone, and I think we might have met for a reason? I mean... I think you need someone too." Touka let the tray clatter back on the table, uncaring of the looks drawn their way. Years of pent up grief were welling up within her, unbidden, and she watched, slightly fascinated, as the boy slowly raised his patch a bit to reveal a single kakugen eye.

Touka suddenly realized that she had seen his face before, though not as drawn and colorless. He was in an accident a while ago, and he had to have emergency transplants, but there was a... mixup.

His family, who wasn't even his family, just distant relatives, abandoned him.

He'd had to adjust to a completely new lifestyle- students said he couldn't eat in the cafeteria anymore, and he nearly never left his apartment.

He reminded her so much of herself that she found her mouth compulsively moving, her body seemingly acting on autopilot as she sat across from him.

"Of course I'll help you," and she didn't even have to fake the sincerity in her tone.

oOo

"You'll want to set your fridge to a lower temperature- the synthetic meat doesn't keep long under normal circumstances, and we need to do all we can to preserve it," Touka instructed, setting her groceries on Kaneki's kitchen counter. A few weeks had passed since they met, and Touka was slowly easing him into her life. It was hard, but he needed her (needed her) and admittedly, she needed him too. It had been so long since she actually talked to someone, let alone had any friends.

"Why is it so expensive...?" Kaneki muttered bitterly, following Touka's direction and adjusting the refrigerator.

"What are you even complaining about, I'm the one with money," she snaps, but he knows her well enough by now that her biting tone doesn't faze him. He huffs, and flushes, but she's helping to build his confidence, as he does whisper something that she could have heard, but chose not to. She's so proud. Her fingers itch, and she remembers the gift in her hoodie pocket, a sort of celebratory gift for her friend.

"Hey, Kaneki, come here, close your eyes, and hold your hands out." He obeys almost immediately, and she feels like punching him in the face just because she can. Always stay alert. Instead, suppressing her laughter as she imagined the look on his face, she placed the box in his open palms.

"Alright, loser, open." Kaneki smiles softly and complies, lifting the lid of his gift, but his face stretched wide into an actual grin when he laid his eyes on what was inside. She felt light-headed, almost like a hot air balloon. Was this what being nice felt like? How did Kaneki stand it?

"I'm going to put it on right now, if that's alright?" She nodded, unable to help the small smile that worked itself onto her lips. She followed him into his bedroom, where he had one of those desks with a mirror set on top. Oh, she hadn't been back here before. It was plain, understated, just like Kaneki himself. How appropriate. He held the velvet and silk eyepatch with one hand, removing the old, hospital one.

The eyepatch was black, with white and red thread sewn in on the velvet side to create and eye catching pattern. The other side was soft, and Touka had made sure to ask if it could be worn for long periods of time. As Kaneki slipped it on, almost reverently, she wondered if he'd ever be confident enough to go without it. She chased that thought away. Of course he could- she had faith in him. As he admired himself, she turned away with a smile, looking for any bit of personality in the room, the house. Kaneki once told her that he had no personality, or at least, one of any merit. Something leaning against the wall in the closet caught her eye, the familiar shape opening a floodgate of uncomfortable memories.

"Kaneki, do you play guitar?" Touka turned back to him, and he nodded, once.

"Ah, I didn't have the best childhood, and music was always a great outlet. Got me through some bad times... though I haven't needed it lately," and she knew he meant that she had become his light in the dark. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she shuffled in the direction of the instrument, looking back to Kaneki to ask for permission. If he noticed her tears, he didn't say anything, and made a go ahead motion with his long fingers. He could probably play piano, too.

She carefully pulled the guitar to her, muscle memory allowing her to hold it confidently and correctly. She strummed a few chords, and then began playing a song that she learned around the time she dropped out of school. Her fingers may have slipped a few times, but the weight and the feel of the strings reassured her, almost like her father was still covering her hands with his own, guiding her. She almost dropped the instrument when Kaneki started singing quietly behind her, turning instead to see him watching her with a smile.

"I loved that song when I was a kid." He explained, and Touka's fingers stilled. Kaneki looked contemplative for a moment, and Touka longed to fill the silence with her, uh, Keneki's, guitar. God, she had missed this.

"Hey, thanks for this. Oh, and you've got a decent voice, too." He smiled and nodded, and then smiled wider, making her feel a bit nervous.

"Touka, I've just had an idea," he finally states, coming over to pull Touka in front of the mirror with him, guitar and all.

"Music is important to both of us. Music is important, period. What if we... what if we could..." And suddenly, Touka understood, as she understood Kaneki. Her heart quickened. Could they? Should they? They were only in high school... and they'd need stuff, more instruments, songs, but... would it be worth it? Touka looked down at the guitar in her hands. A lifeline.

"Hell yeah, Kaneki. Let's start a band."