The Burden of Secrets
Fandom : The Losers
Characters : Clay
Rating : PG-13
Word Count : 290
Written for the prompt : The Losers, Clay, secrets he keeps
Disclaimer : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
The Burden of Secrets
Clay has kept many secrets in his time. Epic nation-breaking secrets for the Army and smaller person-crushing ones. He knows where Roque's obsession with knives came from, why the man carried so many knives and where they each came from. He knows where Cougar's silence came from and how the burden grew ever heavier when they worked for an Army, a Government, that thought nothing of destroying a compound filled with innocent children, shooting down a chopper supposedly filled with its own men and of laying the blame for the murder of children on supposedly rogue soldiers.
He knows how much it hurts Pooch to be away from Jolene and his baby boy, how much Pooch wants to be able to call it quits and go home. He knows where Jensen's incessant noise comes from, the chatter that banishes silence, dulls everyone else's memories of all the pain they carry, the pain it hides.
He won't share those secrets with anyone, but they aren't the greatest burden.
There are secrets that hurt him more. The fact that he has begun to believe that maybe he was responsible for Roque's betrayal, that if he'd done things differently Roque would still have been alive and maybe things would be different, it cuts deep. The belief that maybe he'll never be able to get to Max, never be able to prove that all the bad things that happened were not on his team, but lay on this faceless ghost . . . that maybe he'll never be able to give his men their lives back.