Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm back from Disney World. So while I was gone I got this idea for a songfic and I wrote half of it on the train ride back home (I would have flown but I'm too scared). So yeah…this is using the song 'For The Cool In You' by Babyface. I love that song and while I was listening to his greatest hits album, I just got inspired to write a songfic for it. If you have windows media player then you can listen to it on there. It's a really great song. So please enjoy!
FLASHBACKS ARE IN ITALICS
This is for the cool
Ryan and I have been dating for six years now. We began in our senior of high school. I had the biggest crush on him since the 10th grade and I new that he was gay but I wanted to wait for the right moment to tell him my feelings. So the moment came and boy did word spread quick that I was gay. Some people freaked out but others, like my friends and family, accepted me. Anyway after I told Ryan how I felt about him we immediately began dating. We have so much fun when we're together. When we first started dating we would always hang out at either his or my house. When he was at my house my mom would cook dinner and give Ryan extra because she claimed that he was too skinny. I mean the boy can eat but you can't really tell. After dinner we would go up to my room and just talk. Nothing in particular but it was nice. We would cuddle, kiss and tell each other how much we loved the other. Don't get me wrong we still do those things but things have been a little different now.
Here we go round and round and round
And back and forth you know
Everybody goes through it sometime
And that's just the way it flows
So we go up and down and up
And in and out the door
Even thought you know you've been through it before
I guess things started changing when we moved in together. It was our sophomore year of college and we thought that it was the right time to move up a step in our relationship. For the first couple of months of us living together it was great, we saw each other all of the time…part of the reason why we wanted to live together in the first place. But then our schedules got in the way. I had basketball practice and he had auditions and musicals to rehearse for. We were getting frustrated from the pressure to do well in school and at the fact that we didn't get to see much of each other anymore. So we began fighting. We would say very hurtful things to each other, well mostly it would be me saying the hurtful things.
"Troy you can skip one practice! It won't kill you!" Ryan yelled at me. He had skipped a rehearsal for a community musical so we could spend time with each other.
"Ryan, you know how important basketball is to me…" I tried to explain but was cut off.
"So you're saying that I'm not as important?" Ryan asked getting angrier by the second.
"Don't do this…you know that I love you." I said.
"Well then just skip this one practice so you can prove it to me." He said wrapping his arms around my waist. I sighed and gently broke away from him.
"I'm sorry…it's just we have to get ready for the big game." I said.
"Whatever." He said crossing his arms and shaking his head. He's making this more difficult then it has to be and it's really pissing me off.
"Just stop being so God damn selfish! I'm sorry but we will have to plan for another night!" I yelled. He looked at me in disbelief but didn't say anything. He just climbed into our bed, with his back away from me and whispered I love you. I sighed and went to practice.
For every argument that we've experienced
It's nice to know that you've remained composed
And I wanna thank you for the chill in you
Especially for you being so cool
This for the cool in you
Cool in you, cool in
This for the chill in you
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool
This for you cool in you
Cool in you, cool in
This for the chill in you
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool
That was how most of our fights would go. And it surprised me that he would never just pack his bags and leave. Not that I wanted him too, it's just any other boy would probably get pissed and leave, but not him. He promised me that he would never leave me and that I could always count on him. And I would always feel so guilty after we fight because I know that he's mad at me but either way he manages to still say that he loves me afterwards.
Looking on back at all the changes
That I put you through
Any other girl in your position
Sho-nuff would've been through
Thinkin' about how you made it easy
Always there for me
Never once did you turn your back and leave
I remember coming home one night and I figured that Ryan was already sleeping because all of the lights were off in the house except for the hallway light. He always left that one on for me if he knew that I would be home after dark. He said that he didn't want me tripping over something and breaking a bone.
So I hung my jacket on the coat rack before walking down the hall to our room. Before I opened the door I thought that I heard faint sniffles. I opened the door and saw Ryan sitting on his side of his bed quickly wiping away at his eyes.
"Ryan what's wrong?" I asked concerned. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Nothing's wrong. It's just those springtime allergies." He said obviously lying and it hurt me a little that he couldn't trust me but I decided not to ask anymore questions.
"Oh, ok. C'mon lets go to sleep." I said pulling off my shoes, socks, shirt and pants. I always slept in my boxers while he would settle on an oversized shirt and flannel pajama pants. I climbed into bed.
"Goodnight." He said to me.
"Goodnight" I said before kissing him on the lips. "I love you."
"I love you too Troy." He said and then turned off the lamp and went to sleep.
I knew that he was crying because of me. How come I'm the one who makes him cry? You're not supposed to make the ones you love sad. I wrapped my arms around him and went to sleep.
For every tear you've cried, I've cried a thousand times
Never once did I want you to hurt inside
I wanna thank you for the chill in you
Especially for you being so cool
This is for the cool in you
This for the cool in you
Cool in you, cool in
This for the chill in you
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool
This for you cool in you
Cool in you, cool in
This for the chill in you
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool
For every tear you've cried, I've cried a thousand times
Never once did I want you to hurt inside
I wanna thank you for the chill in you
Especially for you being so cool
This is for the cool in you
"I'm sorry for everything." I blurt out while we sit in our living room watching TV. Ryan's attention comes off of the screen and he looks at me weird.
"What?" He asks.
"I'm sorry for all of the fights and making you cry. I'm just sorry." I say
"Troy it's alright, every couple fights." He says.
"I know…but it's just that you never once have hurt me and I have hurt you one too many times. I feel bad for everything."
"Troy…"
"No Ryan…just tell me how come you've never thought about leaving me." I ask.
"Well, Troy I did think about leaving you once. Just once just though." Ryan confesses to me.
"Then how come you didn't leave?" I ask him and he just looks at me and smiles.
"Because I love you too God damn much. I could never leave you." He says to me sincerely. I softly smiled at him and hugged him tightly.
"I could never leave you either. That's how much I love you and please remember that. Don't you dare forget it." I whisper in his ear. I feel him nod and then he breaks away.
"Thank you." I tell him.
"For what?"
I put forehead against his and smile. "For being so…cool." He laughs a little before kissing me.
This for the cool in you
Cool in you, cool in
This for the chill in you
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool
This for you cool in you
Cool in you, cool in
This for the chill in you
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool
Author's Note: So did you love it? Hate it? Let me know in a review. I really hope that you liked it. Please review!
April
