As I looked at Beyond Birthday in the eyes this morning I realised that the only logical conclusion was I was in love with him. I know a lot about love. Well, the technicality of love. I have learned much through reading books and watching films. I even have had first-hand experience of it by watching my roommates, Matt and Mello for many years. But, before that moment, I had never felt it. But I knew enough to diagnose the symptoms. Sweaty and nervous but comfortable in his presence. I think about him. A lot. And I feel things around him… I don't like feeling things, not usually. Feeling things has always brought me pain in the past yet, somehow, this is different- a good different. I feel a fluttering sensation in my chest and his every touch makes me feel more alive- more real- for an instant. Not that he touches me much. Or notices me at all really. Not until this morning, all of a sudden it feels like everything has changed between us: he sees me now and I intend to make use of my sudden visibility.