I'm sorry about this, I really am.

Please check this on my Ao3 account (link in my profile), it looks better there.

Kuramochi's vision is blurry when he glances around him, maybe to see if there's anything he can still do, maybe to just get the confirmation to the horrible fact that they just lost their chance to go to Koushien.

That he won't be going to Koushien with Ryou-san.

Around him everyone else is crying too, save for the select few who have the strength not to cry in public (and Miyuki of course, because Miyuki's heart is stone and ice and no one has been able to melt it yet). But what hits him the hardest, really feels to punch him in the gut and steal all the air in his lungs, is that in the dugout there's Ryou-san who looks just simply broken. The older Kominato is leaning on the railing with what's probably his whole weight, his head bowed down in pain.

And he's shaking all over, and Kuramochi isn't sure if it's because his leg is about to give in or not. He wants to go to him, wants to make sure that at the very least Ryou-san won't fall, but they have to line up and everyone has to get out from the dugout.

It's nearly impossible to notice, but Ryou-san is limping.

They're all trembling when they get to the bus. Sawamura looks like a ghost, Nori looks like he's about to be sick, the younger Kominato curls up on his seat next to Furuya who numbly wraps his arm around the shaking shoulders; in all his apathy, he looks just as broken as everyone else.

And Tetsu-san is crying. He looks lost, slightly confused and so, so broken.

Ryou-san slumps next to Masuko on the other side of the hallway, blocking Kuramochi's view of his face and small frame.

The trip home is quiet, much quieter than it has ever been. No one speaks a word, and the only noises to be heard are choked sobs, muffled sniffles and tiny hiccups. Everyone whose nose isn't completely clogged can smell the desperation that lingers in the air even after half of the windows are opened.

When they get off the bus, Ryousuke's limp is easier to see, but no one has the energy to notice. Except for Kuramochi, but Ryousuke disappears quickly from his sight.

When they get to the lunch hall, the hell of desperation is set off. The second and first-years aren't crying anymore, but they all look dead tired. On the contrary, there's not a single third-year who isn't crying; there are tears cascading down even Ryou-san's face, and Kuramochi feels his blood freeze. He can hear the horrified gasp behind him and somewhere in his brain he registers it to be Haruichi, and then the door goes for the first time as the younger Kominato runs out. It doesn't take long for Furuya to go after him. The next one to leave is Nori.

The first third-year to leave is Ryousuke. He staggers when he stands up, his eyes blurry with tears when he limps nearly lifelessly to the door. As he passes Kuramochi, his fingers brush the back of his hand ever so slightly, subtly enough to ignore if Kuramochi so wishes. However, the small touch is enough to get Kuramochi turn around and follow the shorter boy outside. He can feel Miyuki's eyes on his back, but for once they're not teasing him. Instead, they're nearly pitying, as if predicting what's going to happen once they get outside.

As the door closes behind Kuramochi, Ryousuke is a few steps ahead of him. He stops on his tracks, as if to wait for the taller boy who closes the distance quickly, albeit a bit hesitantly, and stops right behind his partner. Ryousuke clenches his fists, biting his lip as the tears threaten to fall again. He takes a step forward; they need to find a place where they can be alone.

He can't really hear anything past the blood rushing in his ears and the horrible cheering of the crowd that just keeps echoing around his head. He takes another step, but the world seems to tilt a little and he hears his name, or at least he thinks so, and the next thing he knows there are Kuramochi's hands gripping his biceps and Kuramochi's chest against his back and Kuramochi's panicked voice asking over and over again if he's okay and repeating his name and asking if his leg hurts or if there's something else wrong.

He doesn't even want to pretend anymore. He's not fine, his leg does hurt, he's never playing with Youichi anymore, there went three years down the drain and his head is spinning spinning spinning and he goes nearly slack in Kuramochi's arms, startling the boy a little, and leans in, trying to find even a smallest form of comfort. Even with his current mindset, however, he realizes that they've barely made it out of the door and someone is probably going to come out soon – be it Shirasu searching for Nori or some of the third-years who can't stand the atmosphere anymore.

"I... don't really think I can walk," he manages to mutter, his voice even quieter than usually. "Can you just... take me somewhere," his voice fades out with a slight crack at the end. Kuramochi wraps his arms around him for a moment and squeezes him tight before slinging his other arm under Ryousuke's knees and wrapping the other around his shoulders. The shorter boy is a little startled, but too tired and too comfortable to protest. Youichi's arms feel safe.

Kuramochi hesitates for a moment before starting the walk to the warehouse. At the entrance, however, he freezes and whips his head to the left, his eyes finding another tiny boy with a pink hair, this one curled up in their probably-new ace's lap and trembling so badly his teeth are rattling and he's nearly hyperventilating. Furuya is petting his hair quietly, his other arm wrapped tightly around Haruichi's frail shoulders, pressing an occasional kiss here and there.

The shortstop backs away slowly, not wanting to disturb his kouhais, and decides that the club room it is for now. He's tired himself, and Ryousuke may be small but he's all lean muscle and weighs a lot more than he seems to.

The door is unlocked and the room is empty, so Kuramochi carefully settles Ryousuke down on a bench and sits down himself. At the moment he sits down Ryousuke's lips are on his, rough and chapped and pleading and Kuramochi opens his mouth to let his tongue in. Ryousuke's teeth are biting down on Kuramochi's lower lip but he barely even notices this as the shorter boy's other hand finds his hair and tugs the strands hard while the other clenches the front of his shirt with all the strength he can muster up. Kuramochi starts to kiss back but it only lasts seconds before Ryousuke pulls away, his face not quite flushed but almost and his eyes half-lidded – his eyes, Kuramochi realizes, as he's really never seen their color before. Their color is similar to Haruichi's, but they're a darker shade of the pinkish peach and never in his life Kuramochi could have imagined that the first time he sees them they'd be so filled with despair.

Ryousuke's eyes slide closed and he lets go of Kuramochi's hair, slumping against his broad chest lifelessly. The tears are back, Kuramochi can feel them dripping onto his shirt and he won't cry won't cry won't cry damn it all and there are droplets dripping into Ryou-san's hair. He wraps his arms around his partner and embraces him tightly, hoping to make the hurt go away even a little although he's still hurting himself.

It's around 10 PM when Ryousuke finally falls asleep in Kuramochi's arms, exhausted from playing and losing and crying and hurting and feeling anything at all. Kuramochi squeezes him a little tighter and presses a soft kiss onto the top of his head.

"I'm sorry I couldn't respond to your expectations, Ryou-san," he mumbles in the darkness, and Ryousuke may not be as asleep as he thinks because there's a mutter against his chest that says "I don't want to leave" and another that says "I love you".

I told you I'm sorry.

I hope you enjoyed it! :)

Also I feedback is always nice, let me hear you opinions! :3