Author's Notes: Ain't mine. Just grateful to be playing here.
Apple baskets full of thanks to Coquillage for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
For Katinka, because she's wonderful.
"Just Business"
He needed to see her for business reasons. It wasn't because she had just returned from a lengthy stint with a client. And he wasn't re-routing just to prevent her from leaving again for a while. He didn't really miss her when she was gone.
He had his crew to talk to, he had Jayne for company. Well, okay, so time spent with Jayne tended to include a lot of cursing and caressing of weapons. And spitting. A lot of spitting, something that he'd really had enough of by now. But he also had River, for whatever that was worth. Although she did have a disconcerting habit of turning any conversation around to Inara again. Maybe the girl missed her, but he didn't. After all, he had Kaylee. Well, not so much, now that the good doctor had Kaylee. He grimaced at the thought of that again. Crew relationships were a mistake, about the only rule he believed in with all his heart. Look what was happening to Zoe. He could barely manage to face Zoe's grief, much less his own. And gorram it, it should have been the Shepard doing the comforting. But he stopped again before he had to think about what that loss was costing him.
Inara should just be on Serenity. Things went to hell faster than a job for Niska did when she was gone and he ended up fighting with everyone, losing Book from the crew, almost throwing little River off the ship and just generally screwing everything up. He didn't know why the ship ran better with her around, but it did. He certainly didn't need her. Except of course, for business reasons.
So it was just business that found him knocking gently at the door to her shuttle. She'd appreciate the knock and that would start things off right, he figured. Of course, starting things off right with Inara wasn't as much of a problem as keeping them right once they started talking.
Was he so lost in thought he only thought he heard a soft "Come in?" Or was he just so used to barging in to Inara's shuttle, furious and looking for trouble, that he opened the door and stepped in by habit alone? It didn't matter why, because as soon as he stepped in, it was clear she wasn't expecting him.
He had rarely seen Inara without immaculate make-up and heavy jewelry; without something silken and sensual draped on, exposing more of her body than he was comfortable seeing, or more truthfully, having others see. He had certainly never seen her like this, in a white cotton robe, her face freshly scrubbed and with her hair wet and hanging loosely down her shoulders. She looked different like this. She looked gorram sexy, actually, but he couldn't figure that out, much less manage the thoughts seeing her this exposed brought up.
Clearing his throat, he began stumbling his way through an apology and looked up at her, waiting to be banished.
"It's fine, Mal," she sighed, "I'm used you treating my home like your property."
"'Gorram it, 'Nara, it is my…" he started.
"Why do you think I bought a robe?" Inara interrupted and shut him up. She used to walk around naked after a shower? He'd never caught her like that. Why hadn't he caught her like that? What would it be like if he had? And was she naked underneath the thin robe? He glanced at her carefully. Gorram it, she was.
Trying to stop this dangerous train of thought, he strode over to pretend to peer at the calendar on the wall, back turned to her. "Got some business to discuss with you, 'Nara. If it's not a good time, I can come back."
"It's a never a good time when you want to discuss 'business', Mal. It usually means my business suffers and yours ends up in a muddle."
"Now, that's not fair. I got a lot of responsibility on my head. Gotta make sure everyone's okay, not just you, Inara," he said, turning around to face,
"It may not be fair, but it's usually true. Is it this time?"
"Well, yes," he admitted. "Now wait just a gorram minute, not the muddle part. Got no intention of ending up in a muddle on this job. But it is going to take us out of your way. Sorry 'bout that."
"You usually are. But I suppose it's acceptable. I wasn't actually looking forward to my next meeting and perhaps I can recommend another Companion for this man, one that suits him better."
Was Inara telling him things about herself? Accepting losing a client that easily? She must have had a pleasant time with her last whoring to be so relaxed - but he chased that thought away. It was worse somehow to know that she might get pleasured by these men, rather than providing all the gratification. Pleasuring her should be done by a lover, not a client. Maybe the fellow just paid her well. That was probably why she didn't mind the re-route.
Again with the thoughts of lovers and Inara in the throws of pleasure. He needed to stop doing that this instant, because the images in his head made him feel like he had descended to Jayne's level. Inara was not an object, he reminded himself. At least she wasn't to him, even if she was to her clients. He was different from them. He saw her as a person. A person he respected and mostly liked, but definitely did not desire, not him, gorram it.
"Is there anything else, Mal? Because I am expecting…" She never got to finish her sentence, because he was across the room in three steps, wrapping one arm tightly around her waist and grabbing, actually grabbing, the back of her hair with his other hand. He couldn't stop himself as he gently tugged to tilt her face upwards, so close to his that he could have counted each of her individual eyelashes. If he wanted to. Which he didn't. What he wanted was to kiss her. And everything that could follow from kissing her. God, how he wanted that, now that he was finally holding her like this. The seconds lingered as she stared at him, taken aback, but not pulling away.
Not believing his own daring, Mal slid his hand back from her hair, lightly tracing the curves of her body down to the knot of belt on her robe, holding it loosely in his fist. Inara's breath was coming faster, but still she didn't move away, still didn't protest his intentions. She was intent on his face, waiting for the kiss that he figured they both knew he was going to give her.
When he did finally lower his head to steal her mouth there were no holds barred between them. Inara was as warm and welcoming as he'd always imagined she would be. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her even closer, something he hadn't even thought possible a moment ago. Two bodies shouldn't fit this well together, gorram it. His left hand was sliding down her back and his other hand was tugging at the robe now, clumsily. A deep laugh was welling up in both of them; for him it was sheer delight at finally holding her, finally touching her silky skin, finally being able to show her the pleasure he had dreamed of giving her, late at night, all alone, unable to get her out of his mind.
"Gorram, Inara, I have to get this thing off you," he growled, the desire in his voice surprising him. Having denied himself so long, he had no intention of stopping now, hell, he didn't have the ability to stop now. He was lost in needing her and there was nothing she couldn't ask of him at this moment.
She laughed without moving away from him, so that he could feel her delight in his chest, his shoulders and in her breath on his face.
"Gorram, Mal, you certainly do," she replied saucily, starting to move her trembling fingers from the buttons on his shirt to the stubborn belt. He stopped for a moment, taking her hand in his, lacing his fingers through her, pressing his palm into her, wanting every possible inch of skin to meet skin.
He rested his forehead to hers and said "It's going to be okay, Inara."
He wasn't certain if he was offering or asking for reassurance, but she softly whispered "Yes, everything's going to be okay, Mal. It's all going to be okay."
He kissed her again, for a long time, although it would never be long enough for him, not with this woman. She finally pulled back and in that throaty, desire soaked tone that he knew would haunt his dreams after she was gone away again, said "God, Mal, it's going to be much better than okay, I suspect." His heart leapt into his throat with the knowledge that she was willing, she had been wanting him to. And finally, finally, the gorram knot came undone.
And someone knocked at the gorram door. Once, pausing, then twice, loudly.
"Inara? You in there?"
Zoe's voice.
"Oh, God, Mal, I invited Zoe for tea." Inara's voice was strained passion and frustration. "I thought she might be lonely."
Zoe. Lonely. Wash, dead and gone. His rule. The only one he believed with all his heart – it was a mistake to get involved with your crew.
"Right, right, Zoe," he muttered. "She is lonely. Missed you a bit, I think." Buttoning up his shirt, breathing slowly, thinking of something ordinary, to help calm his arousal. Badger, the job, the things that could wrong…that was doing the trick, sort of.
"Did she?" Inara asked pointlessly, tying up her robe and smoothing her hair. "Well, I missed all of you too. I don't think I'll be taking on clients that far away again, Mal."
And now they looked at each other, the chasm back, her job, his job, the never-ending, heartbreaking guilt of Wash's death, of Zoe's pain. She was offering to stay, but on her terms, terms he could never accept, because if it was a mistake to get involved with crew, it was a bigger mistake to fall in love with a Companion.
"I'll be right with you, Zoe. I'm just finishing up something in here." Inara called out to the door. She looked at him with a questioning expression, the vulnerability hidden a bit, although the desire was still evident in her heightened color. Her lips were swollen, her robe was askew and her hair had not calmed despite her ministrations. Zoe would know everything the minute she walked through the door. How could he hurt her with raw love right in front of her grieving face? He owed her better than this.
"Um, 'Nara. May have overstepped my bounds there. I remember what you said 'bout servicing the crew. Forget myself for a moment there. Man gets lonely out here in the black, is all."
And now he had hurt her. Well, he meant to. Had to make her see.
"Yes, I gather that. See that it doesn't happen again." Cold, her voice was crisp and cold and he deserved it. He couldn't look at her, couldn't even argue with her. She deserved the last word.
He opened the door and let the future slip away.
