Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Today I saw an article on the news about who Superman could be gay… and thus was born this fic. It's a quick drabble, all mistakes are mine but unintentional. I put this in Young Justice b/c I wasn't real sure where else to put it...
Clark groaned as he sank down face first into his pillow. It was well after dark on the early summer day, but that did nothing to improve the reporter's mood. Next to him, flapping in the breeze from his over-head fan was a copy of the next day's Daily Planet. The first page story was written by Clark Kent entitled "Is Superman Gay?" It was cause enough for the Kryptonian to have taken twice the recommended dosage of Tums. His first solo front page story had to be about his perceived sexual preference.
It had been Lois' idea. "Go out and see what the buzz is on the street." And so like the good little reporter he was, Clark followed her orders. Out into the streets he went armed with his digital recorder and an old fashioned pen & pad, when low and behold he stumbled upon a group next to his splendid new statue questioning what kind of man wore tights and red briefs? A gay one was the only answer they could come up with and of course Lois had jumped all over that. Told him that was a perfect article to broaden his horizons and left him to listen to the grandmothers intricately describing how they thought Superman was already having relations with either Green Arrow (because he is a funny boy too) or the Flash (because he's just so sweet no one can resist him) while she went to chase down a lead on a famous actor sighting.
He had to admit though the article had practically written itself. People were more than willing to share their thoughts on the Justice League's Number One Hero's sex life. 'Reading between the lines' as they called it. If he were being completely objective, they had a few points. Ollie was a little more than strange; he was Robin Hood for crying out loud. Not to mention everyone really did like Wally. So many people were talking all at once and so many different ideas were going around, that Clark had a full page story within an hour. In fact, it had taken him more time to par down his story to fit the required length than the whole interview with all fifteen people.
Of course he had no clue how they could think that about him. So what if he didn't date and had to beat Lois off with a stick? So what if his best friends were mostly male? So what if he wore spandex? Ok, so maybe there was more proof there than he realized. Perhaps he could change his uniform? But his mother had made that for him and the colors were of his home planet. Maybe he could find someone to date? Who could handle his superhuman strength? He would crush them in a hug or break their hand on the first date. Maybe he could nominate more women to the Justice League at their next meeting? But there weren't too many female superheroes worthy of admission to the elite group.
Before he could wind himself down from his frustrations, his phone rang. Without looking at the caller idea he answered. "What?" There was only one person who would be calling him at this hour.
"Do you want to talk about it?" The deep baritone from Gotham sounded rather compassionate.
Rolling his eyes, Clark fought back a rather Superboy-ish growl. "No." Leave it to Bruce to be compassionate the one time Clark would rather strangle him.
Without missing a beat, Bruce kept pushing forward. "Do you want to come over and help with patrol?" He was trying to tempt Clark like a child after a favorite treat. It was rare that he let anyone patrol with him though…
"No." This time his answer was less than forceful.
"Do you want me to have Alfred fix your favorite meal? You know country fried steak, mashed potatoes…" There was a smile playing along those playboy lips for sure now.
Trying not to grin at how well his best friend knew him, Clark shook his head. "No." His will was beginning to crumble now.
Bruce took a deep breath before continuing. "It's not that bad, Clark. I mean look at what they say about me and Dick." Bruce owned the Daily Planet; he would know exactly what was on the front page as soon as it went to print. "It'll blow over or you could just whisk Lois away and have her write a rebuttal with some facts thrown in and by tomorrow you'll be back to the Boy Scout of Metropolis." He teased the Man of Steel effortlessly. Bruce knew exactly what to say to leave Clark blushing.
Stretching out on his couch, crinkling the newspaper under him, Clark sighed. "I can't chase after Lois. She won't be safe from someone like Lex if they can connect the dots. I supposed being thought of as gay is a lot better than being a child molester." He never understood why so many people thought Batman and Robin were gay together.
"Exactly my point, Clark. This too shall pass." Bruce sounded tired. He had to fight the criminals in the dead of night and party all day in the sun to keep up appearances. Clark should not have been so distraught over such a stupid little thing as this, but he had and his best friend with all his super sleuth skills had taken time out of his busy day to make sure he was alright.
Jumping off his couch with more enthusiasm than he had all day, Clark put his friend on speaker. "I think I'll take you up on that offer comfort food. Tell Alfred I'll be there shortly." He changed from his reporter suit into his blue and reds suddenly feeling much better than when he arrived home.
"Ok. It won't take long for him to prepare it. I think he keeps that stuff on stand-by in case you drop in for a visit." Bruce chuckled.
Slicking back his hair, Clark turned back towards the phone. "You'll eat with me, right Bruce?" He hated being in that big house when Bruce was out on patrol. Nightwing had launched his own career and it made Clark nostalgic sitting alone with Grandpa Butler.
"Yes, tonight I'll eat with you." The sincerity in the older man's voice was loud and clear even without superhuman hearing.
Picking up his phone and keys, checking to make sure his door was secure, Clark smiled at his phone. "Thanks Bruce, you're always there for me when I need you the most."
Bruce laughed loudly on the other end. "Stop saying things like that or they will have more proof for the next article! And next time just don't write the damn thing. Make something else up. Go after Ollie again, everyone loved that." Clark knew that Bruce would eventually get around to the point that he could have just not written the stupid story to begin with, but he was a reporter and reporters reported on what was happening around them. The Big Blue Boy Scout had no choice but to type out his 'eye witness' account.
"See ya soon." Clark clicked off the phone and headed towards Gotham. That conversation was the as close to 'I worry about you and will always be there for you. I will help you figure a way out of anything' as the man would ever say. After all Clark had gotten pretty good at reading between Bruce's lines.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
Let me know what you think ;)