A/N: I assume anyone who's reading this has heard Avi's leaving. I've never cried so hard in my life, as silly as that sounds. I love all five of them dearly, and it makes me so sad to see the pain it obviously causes him to have to make this choice. But he must follow his heart, and I will support him, whatever happens. I'll support all of them, and I shall forever be devoted to all five.
Pentatonix will always be my forever.
So please enjoy this.
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to the songs in this story.
The crowd cheers, a dull roar that sounds like wind in the trees from where I stand. I can hear them, they sound beautiful. I will miss them. I'm not leaving them, I never will be. But I will miss seeing them from where I stand.
Cheerful, excited faces shine up at me, making my heart swell with love for our fans. I choke back my tears and struggle to hold it together. I just have to get past this concert, then I can go backstage and meet with fans. They will cry, and I will cry. That's how the past few concerts have been. A few will give me gifts, and all will wish me well and good luck for my future. They're all so sweet, it makes leaving Pentatonix even harder than it was when I first made the decision.
That decision. I don't question whether it's right or not, I know it is. I can't hold the others back, they will go far. I just can't keep up with them any more. The others are racing to the top, faster than I myself can go. I've done my very best for the past few years, and every person out there in the audience has been a part of why and how I continue to go on day after day. They are good and kind to me, and they've all been more than understanding and supporting over my choice to leave. I can't begin to express my love for them, they've all given more than I could ever ask for.
Cheers rise for a split moment as our microphones rise to our mouths, then a very near, almost respectful, awed silence fills the stadium as the first song of Volume IV echoes through the stadium.
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?..."
Screams and cries cover the last note of Imagine. The fans in front of us had sung through most of the song with us, creating a loud, beautiful harmony that I will never forget all my life. Never, as long as I live. I refuse to.
I can hear some crying. The next will be our last song of the night. I'm glad, but not. I'm exhausted. This concert has been an emotional rollercoaster, but then, every concert these days seems as if it is a rollercoaster. I suspect every one of them until the last will feel like this.
But I don't want to leave them. Some are only seeing us for the first time, for some this might be the first concert they've ever experienced. I don't want to leave them quite yet. There are cries of love and emotion from many of the crowd. Calls of "I love you, Avi!" seem to be heard more often than anything else. They are certainly more common than they were before I made the Announcement.
I wish I could call out in return to each and every person who yells these things. I can't, so I do the best I can with what I have. I raise my microphone to my mouth and speak. I've ceased being surprised by the deep boom that the speakers produce when they send my voice through the stadium. Scott has been sure since the incident with Hit the Road Jack to acquire speakers that won't blow out.
They are never gonna stop teasing me about that, are they? Crap.
"Hey guys!" I say, pausing for the replying screams. "Thanks for singing along with us!"
We love you, Avi!
Good luck, Avi!
We'll always be here for you!
"And, thank you for all your support. Really. It honestly means more to me than you could ever imagine. These past few months have been hard for everybody, not just me. Not just us. I know it's been hard for you guys, too. And I want to thank you for supporting me through this time."
The stadium is silent again, and this wonder never does cease to amaze me. How quiet they can get when they want to hear something.
"So for our last song, I'd like to remind you of that. I'd like to tell you how thankful I am that you guys are here for me, almost like you're...Standing By me." I grin into the microphone as fans start to simultaneously scream, cry, and smile.
The others know their obvious cue. Kevin, Scott, Kirstie, and Mitch begin their vocals, and oh God, I'm going to miss this. I'll see my friends, of course I will, I would never be able to go long without seeing my best friends of six years. But I will miss this, standing on stage with them, struggling to contain this memory and hold on to it. Struggling to hold onto a memory of a single concert when there are already so many that I've tried to lock inside my mind. But I will remember this one, I must.
This is one of the last. There are only a few shows left, I have to remember this one. I will. I soak in the moment.
"I counted the stars tonight,
Oh how they shine so bright,
I gather them all, so we perfectly align
While we gaze from far away.
And separately watch the day
Come rising across the horizon in our minds."
Scott stands to my left, taller than the rest of us. Taller than life, it sometimes seemed like. He, like the others, had set his microphone in its stand. He stood with his back straight, eyes closed, arms in the air with his hands occasionally moving in front of him.
"But now I know,
My heart is strong,
Where you belong
Is by my side.
So will you hold,
'Cause time is cold,
But in your soul
I'm standing by."
Mitch stands to my right, in a position much like Scott's. His hair is dark, still growing in on top from when he shaved it all those months ago. I think he's trying to regrow his faux hawk, but I guess we'll see. His eyes are open slightly, and he glances at me. He smiles at me with love, and I remember his passion for this life. Mitch loves living this fast life, speeding farther and farther ahead into our future. But I can't.
"I have waited a thousand years,
And now that tomorrow's here,
I will shout from the mountain top
Our hearts belong near.
And we've traveled land and sea,
Our beacon the love we keep,
But when we unite,
This will all have been our dream."
Kevin sits behind Mitch, beatboxing his heart out. His eyes are screwed shut in concentration, and through his constantly moving lips, he smiles. Like the rest of us, he loves this song. We all do. It's as if we sing On My Way Home when in Arlington, or close. Kevin will go far as well. He sings, raps, beatboxes, plays cello, and speaks Mandarin fluently. There's no way he's not going somewhere.
"And now we know,
Our hearts are strong,
Where we belong
Is side by side.
And so we'll hold,
Each other close,
And in our souls,
We're standing by."
And beautiful Kirstie, to Scott's back left. She's blonde again now, I think to commemorate old times. Like the others, her eyes are shut. They flicker open every few seconds for a brief moment to look lovingly at our crowd. As she's the shortest of us, she always has to wear those ridiculously tall heels on stage and manages it so gracefully. I think of her wedding in just a few months, and I feel my heart swell. I am closer to crying than I thought. She's perfect as she is, with her goofy attitude and her love of dogs.
I will miss this.
"And so we'll hold
Each other close
And then we'll know
We're standing by."
There is crying, and there are cheers. Mostly a mixture of both.
Yes, I will miss this. But if I can be with my family when we need each other, than it will be worth it.
The cheers rise into full-blown applause. Those that are sitting rise, clapping their hands so hard I feel as if my eardrums will burst from the sound.
Warm tears slip down my cheek. I raise my microphone to my lips, ignoring the splash of saltwater.
"Thank you," I whisper. "Thank you."
Thank you all. For everything. I couldn't have asked for more.
You have made me feel infinite.
For Avi, who I hope will live his life happier now that he can be with his family and be who he needs to be.
For Avi, who has helped make my life better and happier than I ever thought it could be.
For Avi, who deserves all the happiness in the world.
Thank you.