Behold, ladies and gentlemen! My first Mass Effect fanfiction! Well, to be published anyway. I wrote this shortly after I finished the second game and much to my horror, Tali was killed in the final mission. So I went ahead and used the inspiration to write this. I first typed this in September and showed a few male friends who support MaleShep/Tali. I broke their hearts. I uploaded this onto Wattpad soon after. Now, I'm uploading it onto here since it received little attention.

I think I may also make this a drabble/one-shot story collection.

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect.

Warning: Character death, mild language. Depending on content of chapters, ratings may go up, but will be warned beforehand.

Please enjoy!

One Less

Hot angry tears riveted from my eyes, streaking down my scarred face like a rushing cascade of water. My hands were balled into fists, skin wrapping around my knuckles so tightly they turned white as my entire body trembled. A choked cry ripped from my throat as it escaped the reins that was holding it back; God, why did you have to do this to me?

My heart was more than aching. It felt like a merciless, sadistic bastard ran his omni-tool blade straight through my blood-pumping muscle repeatedly with a serrated edge mod and proceeded to torture me further by dicing my lungs as I struggled to breathe through my uncontrollable cries. My body stung like thousands of needles being stabbed into my flesh all at once and pushed straight through my muscles until they hit home at my bones. My knees suddenly carried the weight of my entire body and armor, and they felt as though they were ready to collapse in mere seconds. My shoulders shook violently as I tossed my head up towards the ceiling of my cabin and hailed an almighty, godly scream. It was all I could hear, the sound of my own cries... the sound of a man's soul breaking apart.

Jesus fucking Christ...

I could barely see past my own tears. Salty drops spilling from the corners of my eyes and the wet trails of older tears became fresh new ones.

Why did she have to die?

Finally, my dead weight could not longer be supported by my knees and I dropped. The armor of my knees collided with the floor with a resonating thud and I fell forward, palms smacking the ground with furious anger. If I could, I would have dug my nails into the floor, but I managed to leave the markings of my nails scraping across its surface.

"Tali..."

I could barely recognize the sound of my own voice as I had screamed angrily at God, at Keelah, at the greater power that ran the universe. My voice was broken, destroyed... much like my very soul. Without Tali... I no longer felt complete. Without my beautiful quarian... my companion... my lover...

Realizing this, my heart clenched in on itself; the sadistic bastard that ripped my insides apart was at work once more. I gasped for air, hiccuping with every breath, as I dragged my heavy body towards my berth. My sweaty hands grasped at the sheets, pulling what I could of my sagging body onto the berth. I didn't realize my mistake until I pressed my reddened face into the side of the berth that Tali had claimed. Her scent, her very essence, wafted past the dribbling snot that hindered my ability to smell and I found myself pounding angry fists into the padding of the bed, throwing myself away from the berth as I grabbed the sheets and ripped them off.

Why did you take her away?

That would be my eternal question. Why? Why, why, why, why...

Why, God? What did I do? What did I do that had you take her away? What did I do to deserve this? I have saved the lives of millions, but I failed to save the life that was most precious to me. Why did you take her and leave me alone to dwell in my sorrows, hurt, and anger? Did I do something wrong?

The sheets were crumpled in my hands and I stared furiously at the dark-colored sheets, my eyes narrowed for the longest seconds I have ever felt. But my anger dissolved and I slowly lifted the sheets, pressing my face into the fabric and I hurled another scream that belonged to a man's broken soul. Once again, I collapsed onto the floor and I repeated her name. Over and over...

"Tali... Tali... Tali..."

Whether any god, Keelah, or spirit heard, I did not care.

All I knew was that she was dead.

No amount of screaming, praying, or crying would bring her back... Nothing would bring Tali back into the safety of my arms. As I sobbed into my sheets, her scent filled my nostrils and I could just barely... just barely feel her in my arms, cradling her, holding her tightly without means of letting Tali go. Why could it not be this way? Why did I have to suffer?

I watched her die. I watched her... I watched her as the Collectors shot fire after fire into her suit, past her barriers. I could hear the hissing of her suit as the air she was vulnerable to seeped under its protective skin and poisoned her open wounds. Her cries would forever echo in the darkness of my mind. I would never forget how she cried my name. Her beautiful voice was tainted by fear, horrible and deathly fear.

I couldn't save her. I couldn't save my Tali from her death.

After Legion had opened the doors that had taken so long to open, I carried Tali away from the heavy fire and took cover behind the backs of my team mates as I attempted to tend to Tali's wounds. But by the time I prepped my omni-tool to give her medi-gel, Thane grabbed my arm and said to me, "It will not be of use, Shepard."

It took me moments to comprehend what Thane had said until my eyes fell upon the scattered openings that littered her chest. Seeing the blood ooze from her chest, seeping into the fabric of her suit, and spilling on the floor before me... I refused to believe she was dead. I had shaken her body, waiting for her to respond, waiting for her voice to ring out with my name on her lips. I had barely registered the reality of the world around me as Garrus knelt in front of me and took Tali from my arms, then he had passed her into the arms of Thane.

I remember hearing Garrus say, "Take her back to the Normandy."

The rest of the mission had gone by so fast that I didn't realize we had defeated the Collectors. I couldn't snap out of my trance until the monster in my chest strangled my heart upon seeing Tali within the pod. I stubbornly refused the aid of anyone else as I angrily ran into the elevator and stabbed my fingers onto the keypad, restricting myself within the confines of my cabin.

And as I knelt upon the floor with my sheets covering my face, I could feel a gentle hand stroke across my shoulder. I refused to see who had entered my cabin and I continued to sob into the sheets. Someone pulled my broken body into an embrace, running a hand through my short hair. I leaned into the unknown person, stubbornly refusing to see who it was.

"It'll be okay, Shepard."

My blood froze within the next instance, my breath hitching as the hairs on my neck prickled. I raised my head, just barely catching a glimpse of a woman with an ashened complexion, glowing white eyes, and dark hair. My heart pounded, ears deafened by the rapid beat, as I stared into Tali's eyes before she faded before me like a phantom.

"Tali, wait!"

But my cry was in vain. She was gone.

I was left in silence with the sheets twisted around my hands that sat on my lap. Why couldn't my heart stop beating altogether?

Don't leave me...

...

I don't want to be alone...

Tali...