When Bucky first arrived at the tower everyone gave him a wide berth, no one wanted to be the one to set him off but after a day of watching everyone shy away from him she noticed no one touch him. He never initiated touch. Not even Steve. Hmmm. She asked Tony to get her any recored media they had on him and stayed up far, far too late watching every video to see if anyone had touched him without the intent to hurt him. The answer she concluded at 4:30 in the morning was no. But now how to go about reintroducing this to him? She knew the studies show human touch is important but did she simply start patting his shoulder? He hadn't been given a lot of choice ,should she ask permission? Would he even understand and grant permission? Her thoughts kept her up even later. By the time her alarm went off she had had a woefully small amount of sleep and staggered into the kitchen to find the largest coffee mug available. She had come to the conclusion that she would ask Bucky's permission before any touch was attempted but unfortunately her sleepless brain pre-coffee forgot last nights conclusion and made her way down the Morning Hug Line.
She had always been an affectionate person, hugs daily from her parents. They had actually started the MHL when she was younger, her parents and later grandparents would stand in a line and get a morning hug before breakfast. The tradition had started at the Tower when she was once again exhausted and in need of coffee and Tony and Pepper happen to be standing next to each other and she had hugged both of them on her way to the coffee. After a few sips of the black nectar she had realized that they were staring at her, which lead to an explanation and the next morning Clint and Tony were standing in front of the coffee demanding hugs. As the weeks went on whoever was in the Tower would line up and get a morning hug.
This morning was no different. Steve, Clint, Natasha, Bruce and Sam were all in aline talking when she entered and stumbled her way over to the team, giving hugs that maybe used some of their uprightness to help her along to the coffee, but who would tell on her? When she got to the coffee there was a human figure to her left, out of the way of the line who had not gotten a hug yet. She stumbled over to the darkly dressed person and gave them a heavy hug, vaguely aware of the stiffness in their body before staggering over to the elixir of life.
After half a cup she looked at those around her and saw the tension in their bodies as they watch both her and the person she was leaning on the counter next too. Confusion caused her to scrunch her eyebrows as she turned to see who they were staring at. Bucky was standing, very stiffly, next to her, staring at her. She then realized what had happened. She had hugged Bucky. She had stumbled over to him, thrown her body into him in a hug, without assigning or warning him. And was still alive.
"Morning," She gave a small smile and went back to her coffee. She had made a mistake, yes. But he hadn't and she really, really hoped that if she played it off as cool, that she was just treating the brainwashed assassin like everyone else everything would be fine. And it was. Well, the forever long lecture from both Captain America and the Black Widow hadn't been fun and the thumbs up from Tony didn't really help, but when Bruce said that what she was doing really would help and Sam backed him up on that (ok, so that not what they really said, but it was basically that….ish) they let her do her thing. Ish. After the coffee incident she was a lot better at pre approved touch, basically she would tell him she was going to touch his shoulder and gave him time to move, most the time he didn't which she counted as a win.
When Bucky had been living at the Tower for 8 months he realized that he craved human contact but he had no idea how to get it. He would spar with Steve but it wasn't the same, during their sessions he had to focus on the fight. But no one other then Steve would touch him at all, except her. He had start to make sure he was in the kitchen every morning before she woke up to make certain that he was there for Morning Hug Line, but other then that he didn't know how to tell her that he just wanted to be touched without fear of being punished. He also didn't know why he wanted it so much.
She walked into the common room after a very, very long and very, very stressful day at work. Some days she hated being the Social Media Coordinator for the Avengers, mostly those days coincided with Pepper's out of country business trips and Tony was left unsupervised. But her day was finally over and she could sit and watch a movie and eat ice cream and bully someone into a cuddle. That was the great/sad thing about the Team, they were all touch deprived and always up for cuddles. As she brought her ice cream into the room she noticed the TV on low and knew her soon to be cuddle partner was already watching something. Let see, it was baseball and a very low volume setting, must be Steve. Oh good, Steve gave great cuddles.
She walked around the couch and it was not Steve sitting there with a beer in his hand but rather Bucky sitting stiffly on the couch holding a water bottle. She hesitated just a moment before sitting on the seat next to him. She waited another moment before she spoke up.
"I know this is really awkward and odd but I had a really bad day at work and I usually make someone cuddle with me after a a bad day and I was wondering if you would cuddle? If you don't want to you don't have too I'll just text someone to come down, but I thought since you were already here it might be ok?" She must be officially crazy. But she waited to see what would happen. They both waited, she waited for his answer and he wanted to see if that is what she really meant. Soon, ever so slowly Bucky lifted his arms slightly before setting them down again.
"I don't know how." His confession was barely a whisper, but it brought tears to her eyes.
"I'll teach you." She told him, just as quietly.
At the end of the baseball game Steve walked in looking for his sparing partner that was very late for their match and found Bucky wrapped around their social media directer both asleep with slight smiles on their faces. It was then Steve knew that Bucky was going to make it, but more then that, he was going to be just fine.
Of course there was a time or two when Steve questioned that thought. Like now for instance. It was Bucky's third mission out with the team, they had all agreed (mostly) that he was ready to get out there and do good. Ok so maybe it was mostly Steve wanting to have his best friend by his side again, but the first two missions had gone well. that had to mean something, right? Steve looked across the plane at the Winter Solider. It wasn't Bucky or even James sitting there, the mission had go so bad the the assign had taken over. Sam switched from worry about Bucky to anger against Steve depending on who he was looking at, but everyone mostly just watched to see what would happen next, hoping that everything would be alright.
Bucky sat on the plane, using everything in him to keep the Solider away. The mission had been bad, really bad and all he wanted to do was let the Solider out and stop feeling. But he couldn't. He had worked too hard to give in. All he could thing about was getting back and holding Her. She said cuddles after a bad day was the key. He need touch. He needed to be comforted. He needed a safe place to break down. He needed to keep it together until they got back to base. Get back to base. Get back to base. Get back to base. Over and over. Remind and remember. Get back to base. Get back to base.
The moment the jet gave the final slowing for landing Bucky was out the forced open door with most the team chasing after him, afraid of where he was heading. Through the doors that would no longer hand correctly, past the kitchen to the room where he knew she would be, the common room. The room where the Tv was that she would have been watching their progress from and keeping tabs on the internet and press. Where she always sat and waited for those who were ready for a hug and a 'welcome home'. He was ready now. He needed it now. And he didn't think about asking or how to go about it, but just knowing he needed to the comfort and safety of her arms.
When he entered the room, he vaulted over the back of the couch, dropped next to her on the seat and gathered her into his arms.
She was jolted awake when the seat bounced and she was suddenly pulled from her soft, warm spot to a hard, cold upright position. She was quickly aware of the iron grip around her waist and across her back, as well as the mop of brown hair covering the weight that was against her neck. The next thing she registered was the smell. Male locker room, gun powder and the unmistakable scent of blood. But then she realized the arm around her waist was metal and that meant Bucky. She had watched the footage and was updated by JARVIS so she knew how pear shaped the mission had gone. It then clicked that Bucky had rushed into the room like a bat out of hell. She wiggled her arms out of his grip, that tightened at her assumed protest, and wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could when the team burst around the corner. You could see the tension drain out of the room when the team realized that The Winter Solider had, in fact, not made an appearance. The team wasn't surprised when tears started to fall down her face, it wasn't a terribly unusual sight, as much as they all hated it, but what they didn't know, and she wouldn't tell them, was her tears were brought on by the salt water she felt on her shoulder. And she realized in that moment, she was his safe place.