Kagome and Sango sat side by side outside Sango and Miroku's hut on what Kagome was sure was the hottest day of any summer she'd experienced. Sango sat in a worn wooden chair Miroku had crafted for her, caressing her five-month pregnant belly with a loving smile, while Kagome sat in the grass next to her sorting through the basket of herbs she had collected that day. Sango sighed, breaking the companionable silence between them,
"Kagome?" She asked. Kagome looked up, unable to keep from grinning at the sight of Sango so caught up in her hard-won happiness,
"Yeah, Sango?" She responded, setting her basket aside for the moment,
"Don't tell Miroku, but…it's a girl." Kagome's grin spread ear to ear,
"A girl? Oh, Sango that's so wonderful! How do you know?" Sango rubbed her belly again tenderly, her expression of one thoughtfulness before she replied,
"I just do. I don't know how to put it into words. Miroku's sure it's a boy, but I just know he's wrong. I'm going to have a little princess." Kagome rested her hand on Sango's stomach,
"Well maybe she'll finally move for her Aunt today!" Kagome teased. Sango rested her hand on Kagome's, guiding her hand to the far-right side of her stomach, and Kagome gasped aloud when she felt something hard poking out from under the skin,
"That's an elbow. Or maybe a knee." Sango laughed at Kagome's reaction.
"Hello sweet baby." Kagome murmured softly close to Sango's belly, "I'm your Aunt Kagome. I love you even more than your mommy." She joked. Sango rolled her eyes and playfully swatted Kagome's hand away, leaving both of them giggling.
"Oh Kagome." Sango sighed, "I never thought I could be this happy. Miroku is so wonderful, being married to him is everything I hoped for and so much more. And now with the baby…I just can't imagine my life getting any better." Kagome was ashamed at the sudden rush of jealousy she felt at Sango's words. Two years since Naraku was defeated. Two years living side by side with Inuyasha and it had all amounted to nothing. They shared a hut, sure, and maybe four times over the past two years they had shared a bed, but he had never even gone as far as to tell her he loved her. Their relationship was what it had always been, always desperately waiting for that moment when he would let her in, let her see beneath his gruffness and his attitude. Those moments had been few and far between, and the ones there had been she cradled close to her heart. Those precious moments kept her going through the tough times, when she felt that making the choice to return to the Feudal Era had been the worst mistake she'd ever made. Kagome forced herself to smile up at Sango, despite the sudden turn of her thoughts,
"I'm so happy for you, Sango. It's everything I wanted for you." Sango's eyes were suddenly sad, as if she could read Kagome's thoughts,
"I'm sorry, Kagome. I know how things are with Inuyasha. I shouldn't have started going on about how wonderful everything is for me when everything's going so awful for you." Kagome waved Sango's concern away,
"Don't. You're happy, then I'm happy. You can't not allow yourself to enjoy what you have just because I'm a little down right now, Sango!" Sango chuckled and stood, resting her hand on the arm of the chair to help her balance.
"I have to go inside, or I might die. It's so hot today I can't stand it, and I'm just so tired." Kagome picked up her herb basket and stood, reaching to embrace her friend and then turning to go, knowing how cranky Sango tended to get when she was tired. Sango grabbed her hand before she could walk away however, "Hey Kagome?" She asked.
"Yeah? What is it, Sango?"
"I know that things aren't working out well between you and Inuyasha. Maybe…I mean…Maybe he's not the one. You seemed so much happier when you and-"
"Sango, please. I can't talk about it."
"Kagome, you've never talked about it. I mean, sure you gave me the general idea, but it's been almost three years! We'll see him eventually, and-"
"Sango, no!" Kagome took a step back, "We aren't gonna see him again and Inuyasha has no idea!"
"I know! I know he has no idea but Kagome, I know how you felt and-"
"It hurts, Sango!" Kagome practically screamed, instantly regretting it when she saw the hurt in Sango's eyes. She gave Sango a half-hearted smile and laid a reassuring hand on Sango's shoulder, "It hurts, ok?" Kagome tried again, her tone gentler, "I was stupid, and he was wonderful and I just made too many mistakes. I thought after all that Inuyasha was safe, the smart choice. I was wrong, I guess, but I can't go back. There's just too much damage. I didn't realize what I had at the time and now…it's too late. Inuyasha and I may not be much now but I made up my mind and that's it. When we defeated Naraku it'd been almost a year since I'd seen him and after the battle, he was gone. If there'd been a chance, that would have been it but…" Kagome struggled to hold back her tears, and Sango suddenly reached out and wrapped her in a tight hug, "It's horrible, Sango. I'm horrible. I chose Inuyasha second and now I'm paying for it. That's why everything's wrong, and that's why I must stick it out and make it right. Inuyasha deserves my all." Her voice was slightly muffled as she cried into her friend's shoulder. They stood that way for a while, Kagome crying into Sango's shoulder while Sango rubbed soothing circles on her back.
"I should never have brought him up, Kagome. I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" Kagome sniffled and wiped her eyes before chuckling and hugging Sango tighter,
"Of course I do. You're the sister I never had, I'll always forgive you. I'm gonna go Sango, let you take a nap and wait for Miroku to come home. Come see me tonight, ok?" Sango nodded, squeezing Kagome tight before letting go and disappearing inside her hut.
Kagome walked down the dirt path to her hut feeling as if the weight of the world suddenly rested on her shoulders. She had loved Inuyasha since that first day she had found him on the Goshinboku. The one and only time she had doubted that love was when she had started fooling around with him-she scoffed at her own stupidity, unable to even think his name even after all this time-and she had been petrified by the intensity of her feelings, they had been so much more than what she'd felt for Inuyasha. She'd been so scared by her feelings that she'd backed out, choosing to pursue things with Inuyasha instead. Inuyasha was tried and true, the safe bet, and she had used the heartache from the split to fuel the fire in their relationship. She had never taken time to grieve, to heal, and suddenly it was all catching up to her. The reality that she had willingly walked away from what could have been real for someone who hardly touched her, and had never once said he loved her, all because she had been afraid was crushing. She wanted to scream, to cry at her own stupidity. But it wasn't an option today. Inuyasha and Miroku were supposed to be arriving home tonight, returning from a two-week long journey slaying a tiger demon in the neighboring village. There were things to be done before they arrived. No time to cry today, Kagome she told herself, you can try to find time tomorrow. Right now, there's work to be done.
Hours later, Kagome sat in the hut she shared with Inuyasha, stirring a boiling pot of stew over the fire pit. She had bathed, washed her priestess robes and even sprayed them with the last little bit of perfume she had brought with her from her final visit to the Modern Era. The herbs she had collected that day were all neatly organized and sitting on the table next to her mortar and pestle, waiting to be ground down and made into poultices or whatever Kaede required. Their futon mat was laid on the floor made up nicely. She was ready. Tonight she would bridge the gap between her and Inuyasha. Whatever it took, she was determined like she had never been before that all the years of being by his side would be worth it. Everything she had walked away from would be worth it. Missing out on her brother growing up and her mother growing old would be worth it.
"No more screwing around, Kagome Higurashi." She murmured to strengthen her own resolve, "Tonight, it's all or nothing. If he can't love me, then I'm going it alone. I'll be happy either way."
The waiting game proved tougher than she had imagined, and what felt like an eternity later she stood leaning against the wall next to their doorway, tapping her foot and chewing her lip with nervousness. It couldn't be that much longer, could it? Inuyasha and Miroku couldn't possibly stop and camp for the night when they were so close to home! And then she heard it, the sound of male voices coming from down the path. She took a few calming breaths and then painted on her best smile, starting her own walk down the dirt path to greet Inuyasha and who she assumed was Miroku with him. Odd, that Miroku would come to visit them before going home to see Sango. She took deep breaths of the fresh night air to calm the racing of her heart, losing more of her bravado with each step she took. Finally, she was greeted with the familiar sight of Inuyasha's stark white hair that contrasted so sharply against the glaring red of the Fire-rat robe. He grinned ear to ear when he saw her,
"Kagome! I'm back!" He called, increasing his pace til he was practically running towards her.
"Inuyasha!" She cried, dashing down the path to meet him. As soon as she was within arm's reach, he scooped her up and held her tight against his chest. Her heart swelled with happiness. This was a warmer greeting than he'd given her since she could remember! Maybe, for once things would go as she'd planned! Tonight was it! And then she heard the other voice, deep and smooth like velvet. His tone was the same as all the nights they'd lain under his furs, naked and tangled up in each other under the stars, whispering in her ear all the ways he loved her.
"It's been a long time, Kagome." Kagome's heart beat so loud she was sure he could hear it, and she could only stand there gaping at him for a long moment before she finally uttered the one word she hadn't spoken since they parted three years ago,
"Kouga!"