It has been a month since I, Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord Voldermort. I haven't been able to sleep eat or enjoy myself since that day. Not to mention the multiple memorials I've been asked to attend by parents whom lost love ones to the war.
I can't say no, but only yes, for I am the reason they are no longer walking this earth.
Why, why would they want me there? They treat me as I'm not at fault? saying Harry it would mean the world if you would come, even possibly say a few words at my boys, girls memorial. It breaks my heart and confuses the living daylights out of me. And today, the one I've been dreading the most whom I cried over the i'm at fault for taking away my own best friends brother Fred Weasley. The Weasley's have taken me in as family. Mrs. Weasley have taking me in as her own son and, and now I'm the cause for taking away her son and not to mention a huge piece of George. I see it in his eyes he also hasn't been able to sleep now after the war, it has fully settled with him that his companion, best friend and brother is never coming back.
I've decided I'm leaving after Fred's memorial , I can't take all this heartache and sadness and being treated as a hero. I'm going back to the muggle world and try to move on. If I stay here I'll will never move on and things will never have a chance at getting better
The thought of leaving my best friends whom been with me since the beginning, risked there lives for me tears me up inside, they sacrificed so much for me and missed out on a lot of things but, as long as I'm around them I feel as though they will not be able move on from all of this. This will be my way of saying thank you.
Leaving Ginny will be easy but yet hard. I say easy because I know if I'm not around she will be able to move past all of this easier. We never got to confess our actual feelings for each other but I guess that's for the best, she'll move on in time but I find comfort in knowing she will and she will find someone to fall for and she will have a great life with them.
Arriving at the Weasleys it already had a gloomy feel. When I walked in I was greeted by Ron he gave me a small little smirk and a hug, I held on tight and he broke down in my arms. We stood that way for a few minutes and then we let go I patted him on the back as he walked into the next room where the ceremony would take place. Hermione saw me and ran to me wrapping her arms around me tight.
"Oh harry" was all she could mutter before breaking down. I held on to her. As I looked up I saw Ginny, the sight before me broke me heart. You can tell she just about cried all the tears her body would allow and she just wore a blank expression. I slowing let go of Hermione and made my way over to Ginny. We stood parallel to each other not saying anything for a few seconds. I grabbed her hands and have them a right squeeze. When I did that it's like her soul jump back into her body. She looked straight in my eyes I can tell she was lost for words not knowing what to say or do. I lead her outside to get some fresh air. We sat on the steps outside.
"It's not your fault Harry". Ginny broke the silence
"What"? I asked stunned
"I can see it in your eyes, no one blames you for Fred's death, Voldermort and the bloody death eaters are the ones to blame".
There was a moment of silence I was going to say something when Mrs. Weasley came out to say the service was about to start
Ginny grabbed my hand before walking in. Her touch something I would have to hold near to my heart for soon it will just be a memory
I sat in the second row behind the Weasleys when Ms. Weasley softly said Harry you're to sit with us, you are family she said as she choked up.
Family. Family doesn't cause this much pain. I thought as I sat next to Ron and Ginny. Hermione sitting on the other side of Ron. The service was as expected hard, emotionally, devastating and heart breaking. I didn't know my heart could break anymore than it did now. After the siblings came up and shared some words of there brother Mr. Weasley had welcomed me up to also share some words.
It took me by surprise, I started to panic that's when Ginny placed her hand on my leg it calmed me down a bit, gave me the strength to get up to the podium. Looking out at all the solemn faces of family and friends all I wanted to do was run and get out but there's no way I would do that. I took a huge breath and began to speak.
Fred Weasley. Where do I start, he was an amazing man, words can't describe the courage he had. Fred Weasley... Is gone because of me
There was a silence in the room heads jerked up
"I'm not an hero, so I beat Voldermort but look at all the people whom died to save me. I never wanted people to died for me, to cause all this pain. Pain to the people I love the most. If I could I would choose to die if that meant brings theses innocent people back!"
There was gasp all around, people saying no
"I'm sorry I've caused all this, I'm sorry". I looked at the Weasleys there as emotional as I was.
Fred Weasley was a great wizard and had so much to give our world. George, I know you will make him proud with everything you do in life. His life will not be in vain and will never be forgotten I promised you that.
I stepped down from the podium tears streaming down my face I kept walking down the aisle and outside
Ron came running after me along with Hermione and Ginny
"Harry"! Hermione yelled after him
"Where are you going"!?
"I'm leaving". I say looking straight at them
"Very funny Harry" Ron said through his tears
I just started back at them
"Harry you can't leave. Why would you leave?" Hermione cried out
"Can't stay here anymore. I can't sleep, I haven't eaten in days, I'm tired and I can't stand see you guys in pain. I just need to leave I need to get out".I shout to them
"Harry you are not the cause of all this pain! Voldermort is, and he's gone. This terror, the fear, the hurt isn't going to disappear in a day Harry. It's going to take time".Ron cried out
"I can't do this! I'm sorry. I'm doing this for all of you. You're better off without me". And with that Harry drew out his wand and cast a spell and then he was gone.
"Harry no!" Hermione yelled out as she lunged towards him but ended falling to the ground
Ron walked over to Hermione and cradled her in his arms
"Why would he do this! Why?" Ginny shouted as tears ran down her face
"I, I don't know". Ron quietly replied as a tear streamed down his face