Disclaimer: House and Cuddy belong to David Shore. I just like to play with them.

My House fanfic debut!

Heaven Versus Hell

It wasn't the best idea but she couldn't help it. She knew that it could potentially result in homicide but it was like a magnetic pull that gave her no choice. Her feet acted on their own accord and before she knew it, she was inside. She drank in the sight before her, it was beautiful: rows and rows of shoes all screaming to be tried on.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Cuddy was pulled back to the real world by an unnecessarily loud groan.

"What? You insist that we have to go to three memorabilia stores but I can't go in one shoe store?" Cuddy put her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, because you really do need more shoes," House snarked back. He sighed as she glared at him before sitting down and took the purse that she thrust at him.

Cuddy smiled to herself as she headed towards the back of the store, pausing occasionally to pick up a shoe. If there was one thing that relaxed her, it was this, even with House in tow. She smiled at the approaching store assistant and pointed out the shoes she wanted to try on before returning to where House was sitting.

"Mom, can we go home now?"

"No."

"But moooom, I need the bathroom!"

"Shut up, House."

House swore under his breath at the number of boxes the assistant was carrying, "Someone put me out of my misery!" He exclaimed loudly.

"That can be arranged," Cuddy muttered, running her fingers along a lethal looking stiletto heel.

"Imagine the headlines," House continued, "World renowned doctor found impaled on a stiletto."

"Yup, can definitely arrange that!" Cuddy slipped on the potential weapons and stood up. She turned to use the mirror behind her. "What do you think?" She bent down to adjust a strap.

House peered around her to leer at her reflection, "I think that the girls are looking great!"

Cuddy stood up and glared at him again.

"Ok, ok, the shoes look hot. Can we go now?"

Cuddy looked pointedly at the remaining boxes, "Nope."

She took off the shoes before heading to another part of the store. Then she saw them: a beautiful pair of red peep-toes, practically calling her name. She reached out, memorized by them.

"No, Cuddy! I will not have sex with you if you wear those shoes!"

Cuddy took a deep breath before turning around to face House, a wicked thought entering her mind. She looked him in the eye and ran her hand up his chest. "Not even if I don't wear anything else?"

She laughed as House's eyes widened in surprise, not noticing as House's arm suddenly snaked round her waist. She squealed as he pulled her tight against him, growling in her ear, "I prefer the black ones."

"House!" Cuddy pulled away, slapping him on the arm in an attempt to get free. She pulled out her cell and dialled a number before throwing it at House, "Here, whine at someone who gives a crap."

House limped back to his seat, moaning at a completely baffled Wilson at the other end of the line, "She's making me hold her purse!"

Cuddy followed him to where the pile of shoe-boxes waited for her. There was no way she was going to let House ruin her love affair, not now that the red shoes had been added to the pile. She continued trying on the shoes, slowly torturing House who was now seriously considering ramming a stiletto through his own temple. At last, Cuddy finally came to the beautiful, red peep-toes. She paused, examining them from every angle before slipping them on. Oh, she had to have them all right, but not until she had a little more fun with House. She called over the assistant and quickly muttered in her ear, "I'll pick them up tomorrow. House, have you seen the time? We need to get back to the conference."

"What?"

"Come on," she grabbed her purse, "we'll be late!"

House glanced at all the boxes, "You're not buying any?" he asked, following her out of the shop.

"Nope."

"You really are the devil."

You know what to do!