As Odin went away to start the night patrol, I returned to my tent. It was a stolen two-person tent from the last battle, made in the Hoshidan style with a low flap opening. I crawled into the small dirt space, where two sleeping bags lay side by side. A low wooden table squatted at their feet, and I sat down here, opening a fire tome. The spell inside glowed blue-green, like the streaked veins of luminescent rock on the cliff faces back home in Nohr. We were a very long way from home now.
"Esthu pyralis," I whispered. A tiny flame sprung alight above my thumb and index fingers, warm along my fingertips. It flickered like a grasshopper before I used it to light a short candle sitting at the side of the table.
The light spread over a map lying on the table, its frayed paper corners hanging off the edge. A trail of ink crosses marched like ants from Nohr towards Hoshido, with each cross marking one day. They spread far apart near Nohr, where our army crossed through familiar territory, then crowded closer together at the border of Hoshido, then zigzagged to a stop. There was also a second, rough map where I had planned out the territory for tomorrow's conquest, following a long discussion with the foot soldiers who had scouted ahead.
Rubbing my temples, I squeezed my eyes shut. Those conversations were long, with arguments about who should go where, and we all left with a headache afterwards. I reviewed this plan in my mind, looking for more ways it could fall through. Sometimes when the light flickered and my eyes blurred from staring, the towns blurred into double-towns, the mountains merged into each other, trees waded into the ocean, and mountain ranges closed in onto the villages, snapping them up into their jaws.
I heard the tent open, and looked up. It was Leo.
He bent his head and crouched inside. The candle lit the stranded edges of his light hair and cast his eyes deep in shadow.
"Still hard at work, I see," he said, sitting down next to me. I looked at him and felt the muscle tension leave my shoulders. Leo always smiled the same way these days as he did when we siblings were all children playing war board games. Just as we thought we would win, Leo would pull a piece lurking in the sidelines, capture our kings and emerge victorious nearly every time. I still believed he could pull victorious moves from his sleeve, no matter how dire the situation. Even in a real war.
He took off his high collared cape with metal shoulder plates, along with the rest of his black-and-gold plated armour. Underneath, I realised afresh, he had the slim build of a bookish type of person, the very opposite of most of our muscled, thick-necked soldiers. His throat especially struck me as thin and vulnerable. But like a hawk, his red eyes flashed alert to every sight and sound around him. A new ring gleamed among the long, tapering fingers of his left hand. It was a gold band with an inset magic-amplifying stone, identical to mine.
"What've you been up to?" I asked, leaning my elbows on the table and twirling my pen.
"Meeting with Xander," Leo answered, raising his eyebrows and opening the woven storage bag we kept at the side of our tent. "He wanted to make sure my training was still up to scratch. Stickler."
The table was only a small one, so we sat very close across from each other. Lower the light flickered, and it illuminated the contours of his face in soft, delicate edges. I lowered my eyelids until they were half-closed and took one of my hands off the table onto the floor. Sliding my fingers along the dirt ground, I met his hand, as if by accident. He turned slightly. I started to lift my face closer towards him.
Then I caught myself and stopped. The eyes of the Nohrian army seemed to look through the tent canvas at us. I imagined their disapproval if I took my mind off the war for even a second.
Leo noticed my movement, and flushing, looked away.
"Have you eaten yet?" he asked.
My lips set tight, I shook my head and pulled the map closer to me.
"I want to check our strategy for tomorrow. Right now, it depends on a single ambush group, here." I pointed to a section of forest, "While our main troops come from the front."
"Let's see what you've come up with." One corner of Leo's mouth curled up in a half-smile as he looked over my work, "I think you can afford to set up some more ambush units without rousing suspicion. Here, and maybe some place like here or here." He reached past my shoulder and circled hiding spots in forests and in the mountains. While I rehearsed each possibility in my mind, making some adjustments on the map, Leo leaned back and opened a book.
Quiet fell between us, interrupted only by the crinkle of a page turning, a long sigh, or the scratching of my pen on the table. I drew and drew plans until I couldn't think any more. At some point, I looked up.
He was reading through the tome Fenrir, another battle spoil. There were dents in the heavy set cover and a piece of front cover had been completely torn off in battle. Small red marks resembling blood sat dried on the back cover and along the spine. Leo's thin, bony fingers prised the page over, and it crinkled as he did so.
I watched as the smile faded from his lips, and his brows knit closer and closer to each other. His eyes had long lashes I liked to look at, flashing candlelight whenever he blinked. His eyes read in rapid, flicking motions from side to side, and the rise and fall of his chest slowed to a regular, even pace.
"Ismuth ise kantara," he murmured under his breath, waving his hand in slow, circular motions. He shook his head – "No, esthma isa kantara…" A deep purple glow began forming under the palm of his hand, then faded.
My eyes trailed back to his face. I watched the small movements of his cheeks as he murmured spells to himself. Then he turned the page and entered a period of silence, sitting so still he seemed not to breathe at all. I thought back to the statue of a Nohrian prince I used to look at from my tower at home. It was a cold, lifeless marble statue with empty eyes instead of pupils. That prince was dead now, the records from his reign shelved in the castle archives. If Leo were ever killed in battle, in my mind he would look like that. Frozen and vacant, just like that.
"Leo," I called out suddenly.
He looked up, a little startled.
I sighed with relief to see him move.
His eyes searched my face the way he did when he was reading a book, or working out a riddle.
"Is something the matter?"
I hesitated.
"Does it bother you?"I said, randomly lighting on the next topic I could think of. "When the others talk about how we got married in the middle of the battlefield? Do you ever think it was too fast?"
Leo put his book down, and his brow furrowed as he looked away, towards the tent opening.
"No." He looked at me, and the candle lit its reflection in his scarlet irises. "I regret only that I didn't act sooner." His eyebrows creased more, and I leaned towards him. He looked afraid. I rarely ever saw that expression on him.
I put my hand out on the table, beckoning for his.
He hesitated a moment, and then his fingers closed fast around mine. I wondered how many more days we would be able to sit with each other like this. Each day and minute we had together only seemed to slip away like cupped water between my fingers. The candle continued to burn lower and lower. The sound of people talking grew quieter outside.
Eventually, the sound of approaching footfalls and someone muttering "Lightning Risen! No, hm...Eternal Darkness!" told us Odin was passing by on his night patrol.
"Let's get some sleep," I said at last. "It'd be a waste to plan all this for nothing."
He nodded and reluctantly, I let go of his hand. Our wedding rings glinted for a moment next to each other, and then our hands separated. I lay back in my sleeping bag and turned to look at him. Leaning forward, he drew in a deep breath and then blew out the candle light. Pitch blackness fell heavily on my eyelids, and Leo disappeared along with it.