A Second Chance
Emma stared at the stick in her hand. Two pink lines. Pregnant. For the second time in her life.
As she sat in the bathroom of the house that was theirs; the house Killian had chosen, she couldn't help but think back to the last time she had seen two lines. Seventeen and sitting in a jail cell. She had been so scared. Her childhood had left her scarred and broken and she could barely keep herself alive. There was no way she'd be able to raise a child, inside prison or out. There was no job waiting for her when she got out, no life to go back to, no Neal.
As she sat in that cell, Emma found she didn't long for him like she thought she would. She did not even feel angry at Neal for leaving her there or angry at herself for falling for it. His whole act. She felt nothing at all. It seemed the two pink lines in her hand had pushed aside everything and everyone else.
For a moment, just one quiet moment staring at the bars and the walls, she tried to imagine it; imagine her life as a mother. She thought of baking cookies and PTA meetings. She thought of her foster parents; a parade of people each trying and failing to show her what home was. It just wasn't possible for her. She could not raise a kid.
She considered her other options.
Now, here again were those two pink lines.
The circumstances of this pregnancy could not have been more different. She was not in prison, for one thing. She was with a man she loved, a man who loved her in a way she never thought possible. Because of Henry, she was a mother now. If it hadn't been for him, she wouldn't have the life in Storybrooke she'd grown to cherish. Henry was the catalyst that brought her the happy ending for which she never dared to dream. Emma knew she should be happy. And she was.
But for how long? What about the next crisis? As the Sheriff, the Savior and a former Dark One, Emma rarely made it through a month without a life or death crisis; some new monster, some new strange curse. Could she really bring a child into that? Would it just be irresponsible of her to burden a tiny life with that much danger?
And what happens if, as was very likely, another villain and another crisis appeared some time in the next eight months? She couldn't very well chase down dark creatures and save the town, again, while she was pregnant.
There came a knock on the bathroom door that snapped her back to the present.
"Swan? You've been in there a long time. Are you alright?"
Emma felt a rush of love at the sound of his voice. Killian. She had Killian. Even now there were days where she could hardly believe any of this was real. There had been so many times, especially in the last few months, where she feared it would all be taken away from her. That he was taken from her. But all that was behind them now. Emma had a life here with Killian. And together they had created another life. This time she wasn't alone. This time she had her true love by her side.
"I'll be right out." Emma said.
She found him downstairs in the kitchen, taking leftovers out of the microwave. The smell of the pasta hit her nose and she bolted from the room, back to the refuge of the bathroom.
A few minutes later Emma got shakily to her feet. She brushed her teeth, took a deep breath and slowly made her way back out.
Killian was in their bedroom, waiting for her. "Do you still have that bug? It's been a week now, love. Shouldn't you go see a doctor?"
"I don't need a doctor." Emma said quietly.
"But if you're sick-" Killian protested
"I'm not sick." Killian looked confused. God, he looked sexy even when he was confused, Emma thought.
Emma walked slowly to the bed and sat down beside him. She stared at the floor and ran her hands nervously up and down her thighs. He would be happy. She knew he would be happy but still she couldn't be sure. What if he didn't want this? What if he left? Emma felt like she might be sick again. She took a deep breath and spoke to the floor.
"I'm pregnant." The reality hit Emma once she had finally said the words aloud. She tried to process her own shock. She was going to have a baby. Again. Emma still couldn't look at him. She just didn't think her heart could handle seeing fear or dread in his eyes. Killian moved forward and placed a hand on her cheek, gently turning her face toward his. Reluctantly, she looked at him. His eyes held nothing but love and, if she wasn't mistaken, joy. He kissed her lips so lightly and enveloped her in his arms. Then he pulled back and looked into her eyes. There was joy radiating from every line of his face. He kissed her lips again, her cheeks, her forehead.
"Pregnant?" he asked quietly.
Emma nodded and he kissed her again.
"You're okay about this?" She asked.
Killian placed his hand on her cheek. "Emma, I'm far more than okay. I have never been so happy in all the centuries I've been alive."
Emma sighed in relief and finally let the tears come. She cried for the joy of being with him, the relief of knowing he was still there. She cried because this was how it was supposed to be. Full of love. Together. Not in a cold, lonely jail cell.
They agreed not to tell anyone. Not right away. They wanted to keep things just between the two of them.
At least that was the plan.
That night they went to her parents' place for dinner. Henry was over at Regina's for the evening. Emma greeted her mother at the door of their new house with a hug. Mary Margaret came out of the embrace and stared critically at her daughter. A knowing smile flashed on her face.
"Emma, I need some help upstairs. With Neal. Can you come up with me?" Mary Margaret practically pulled her up the stairs. Once they made it to her and David's bedroom, she closed the door quietly behind her so as not to wake up Neal, who was sleeping soundly in the next room and did not seem to need anything at all. Without any preamble she said, "You're pregnant."
"How... did you know?" Emma asked, completely flabbergasted.
"Because Emma, I know you. And I've been pregnant before, remember?"
"Yeah, so have I. Doesn't mean I'm a pregnant woman detector."
Mary Margaret waved away the comment with her hand, "It doesn't matter how I know these things. All that matters is that it's true." Though Emma was the one who was pregnant, Mary Margaret was glowing. "You're pregnant." and for the second time that afternoon, Emma was enfolded in a warm hug. The sheer outpour of love she had felt that day overwhelmed her. She started to cry again. Her mom handed her a tissue.
"It's fine." she told herself as well as her mother, "It was this way last time too. I just cry over everything."
Mary Margaret put a hand on her daughter's face. Her eyes were a bit bright as well. "How are you feeling?'
Emma took a shaky, steadying breath. "I'm okay. Just tired."
"Does Killian know?"
"Yeah, I just told him. I only found out this afternoon actually."
Her mom continued to beam at her. Eventually Emma laughed, "Okay Mom, we've got to got downstairs. Dad and Killian are bound to notice something soon."
They headed down for dinner. Thankfully, nothing that was being served that evening made her feel remotely ill. David gave them a quizzical look once they reentered the room. Mary Margaret couldn't stop smiling as she hugged her husband. David was watching her carefully. He was an intelligent man. He could tell that something was going on, he just didn't know what it was and neither his wife nor his daughter had anything to say on the matter.
The four of them sat down for dinner. Neal woke up twenty minutes into the meal and joined them at the table for the rest of the evening. Emma noticed Killian watching her more frequently than usual but, as they had agreed upon, he did not say anything. Emma knew her mother well enough to know that she would likely tell David everything the second they left but for the moment she too was keeping it to herself.
Emma looked around the table and realized that now David was the only person sitting there that didn't know.
"Dad, I have something to tell you." She could feel her mother watching her, but her eyes sought Killian. They had agreed not to tell anyone yet. She asked him with a look and, as always, he nodded and smiled at her.
David looked around at each of them in turn. "Does this have anything to do with why you and your mom disappeared upstairs?"
It's a good thing he is the sheriff, Emma thought wryly, nothing gets past him.
"Yes." Emma said, feeling suddenly nervous. Though Killian and Mary Margaret already knew, she was still not quite used to saying the words.
David slowly put down his fork and placed his napkin on the table beside his plate. "Alright. What's going on?"
Emma took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." She was surprised. Saying it was easier the second time.
"Emma, this is fantastic news!" David stood up at walked around the table. Emma stood up too and her father hugged her. She loved the feel of her dad's arms around her. Every time he hugged her it felt as if they were making up for lost time. She felt safe. Secure. She felt loved.
David let her go and clapped Killian on the shoulder. "This calls for a celebration!" He brought out a bottle of sparkling cider he had left over from a past celebration and toasted them. He asked the same questions Mary Margaret had asked and Emma obliged in answering as though it was the first time she had been asked.
They cleared the table and moved into the living room. The four of them talked happily through the evening and into the night. By ten 'o clock Mary Margaret couldn't keep herself from yawning, Neal was snoozing in her arms, and even Killian's eyes were looking heavier than usual. Emma knew it was time to leave.
They were led to the door with leftovers and embraces and when the front door closed behind Emma and Killian he put his arm around her shoulder. Hers were full of leftover containers. They slowly walked back to their house. Emma didn't realize just how tired she was until they started walking. She leaned her head on Killian's shoulder and found her eyes closing as well.
Ten minutes later they were at home in bed. Killian's hook was lying on the end table where it always lay in the evening. He gently drew Emma toward him and she rested her head on his arm. Killian kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. There were asleep in minutes.