As he sat on the barstool with his head bowed holding the glass in his hand, Eli was overwhelmed with the memories of what had transpired hours earlier that day. He remembered the confused murmurs filling the church as the maid of honor walked quickly down the aisle, speeding past the young flower girl throwing white rose petals. As soon as he locked eyes with her, he felt his heart sink.
"What is it?" he asked anxiously, feeling his palms getting sweatier and his pulse quicken. Eli and Adam tried to keep their composure as they listened to Alli but Adam couldn't help the look of pity that crossed his features as he briefly glanced at his best friend.
"What do you mean she's gone?!" Eli yelled before running toward the exit, shrugging off Adam's hand as he tried to hold him back. Eli opened the big brown oak doors just in time to see Clare getting in the back of a yellow cab.
"Clare!" he yelled causing her to stop and turn around. He could see the saddened look on her face and he didn't even realize his feet were moving toward her but it was as if everything had been going in slow motion. She shook her head, mouthing the words "I'm sorry" before getting in the car and the cab quickly pulling off.
Eli stumbled back in disbelief as he watched the vehicle disappear from his sight. He felt as if he was going to be sick and that his legs would give out any minute. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder, looking at his friend with sad eyes before turning back to where he had last saw his fiancée.
Eli was in a daze and he didn't even remember how he made back into the church or into back room where he had gotten ready but he did remember how Adam and Alli spoke to the crowd and tried to explain that the wedding was off without giving too much detail. Against his better judgement, Eli walked out the room, making sure to stay out of view, and watched the best man and maid of honor addressing the people in the room. He watched as the Edwards/Martin family looked at each other in confusion and shock as his mother prodded with more questions trying to make sense of things with tears in her eyes and his father wrapped his arms around her, trying to console her.
The scene was too much. He felt as if he couldn't breathe and light headed. Nothing was making sense and having all these people around was just making everything worse. He loosened and pulled off his tie in an attempt to lessen the suffocating feeling he had but as he threw it to the ground, he realized that nothing could help the pain he was feeling. It was as if he was living his worst nightmare and he couldn't wake up no matter how he tried. He needed to get away, as far as possible. He reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys and ran to his car. He heard his name being called but he couldn't be bothered to deal with it. He got in and sped away with no idea where he was going.
Eli groaned and used his free hand to rub his now pounding head as he recalled how he ended up in the crowded bar. He took another swig of his drink, feeling the liquid burn his throat. He had lost all sense of time and he wasn't sure how long he had been in the bar but by the numerous calls, texts, and voicemail, he knew people were worried about him but he couldn't bring himself to care. Nothing was worse than the look of pity and worry in everyone's eyes and on a good day, he hated having to deal with that. His grip on the glass tightened and his eyes clenched as he felt the tears starting to well but he refused to cry. He would wait until he was alone to come completely undone, in the meantime he would just order another drink. The bartender gave him a look but continued to pour his drink.
"Maybe you should slow down" he said placing the glass in front of him. Eli slowly raised his head and revealed his bloodshot eyes. If looks could kill, the man in front of him would've dropped dead that second. The bartender raised his hands in surrender backing away and went to tend to other customers.
Eli lowered his head again as he thought of the blue eyes that held such sorrow as she disappeared in to the back seat of the cab. He cursed himself as he felt the tears rolling down his face. He shook his head as if that would be enough to get the image out of his head but he couldn't; no matter how much he tried or drank, that image was permanently embedded in his memory. Seeing the girl he loved more than life getting into a cab after leaving him at the alter while all he could do was stand there and watch was something he would never forget.
He chugged the drink in his hand and then picked up the next glass. He faintly heard arguing around him but he wasn't paying attention. He was trapped in his memories. The sound of yelling and glasses breaking brought him back to reality as he realized a fight had broken out. He scoffed and downed the rest of his drink before attempting to stand. He walked outside and seriously considered sleeping in his car but thought against it, walking the two blocks to his apartment. Though he wobbled and was seeing double, he managed to make it safely back to his apartment.
Once he entered, he was leaned against the door and sank to the floor. Everything he had been holding in came bursting out. He screamed, cried and sobbed as he brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. He banged his head against the door as he tried to get his emotions in check but it was no use. He was destroyed and all because of her, again.
After a while the sobbing died down and he wanted to do was destroy any and all memories of her. He wanted to forget she ever existed but he knew it was impossible. She will always be a part of him but that didn't change his desire to rid himself of her. He stood up and looked for a big garbage bag. Once he found one, he went to his room and threw all her clothes into the bag as well as anything else she had left. As he was leaving the room, he passed the full length mirror and couldn't help but stop and look. He didn't even recognize himself. He was pale, his eyes were red and swollen, and he was in a tux. On what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life, he was miserable. He had done everything he could to make her happy, including having a church wedding and in the end she left him. As he looked in the mirror only one thing came to mind.
I hate Clare Edwards.