10 Ways to Impress Lily Evans
1. Do your homework:
"LOOK AT MEEE!"
"What're you doing, Potter?"
"Doing my homework. Which is RESPONSIBLE."
"I'm right here! You don't need to yell!"
"..."
2. Show off awesome Quidditch skills:
"LOOK LILY! Whoa, steep dive there!"
"Lily, look!"
"Prongs!"
"What, Remus? I'm trying to impress Lily!"
"The wall-"
"[Censored]!"
3. Flirt:
"If you were a flower I'd pick you first."
"Why? You want me to DIE?!"
"What? No! I-"
"Picking flowers KILLS them!"
"Oh. I knew that."
4. Give her flowers:
"Hello, Lilykins."
"Sod off."
"But Lily, I brought you lilies!"
"I prefer blue bells."
"..."
5. Be nice to children:
"Oh my! Did you hurt yourself when you fell, little girl?"
"Potter."
"Yes, Lily flower?"
"First of all, that's a boy."
"..."
"Secondly, YOU tripped him."
"Er..."
6. Make her food:
"What in Merlin's name is THIS?"
"I made you breakfast."
"You made me poison!"
"What? It's perfectly edible!"
"Fine then, YOU can take the first bite."
"On second thought, I'll think of a different way to impress you."
7. Save her life:
"I'll save youuuuu!"
"Potter! Get your filthy hands off of me!"
"But I'm saving you from falling into the lake!"
"I was DIVING in!"
"...Nice swim suit?"
*SMACK*
8. Shrink your head:
"Hi, Lily!"
"Potte-gah! What did you do to your head?!"
"You told me I was too big headed, so I shrunk my head."
"That was metaphorical!"
"..."
9. Do the 'give her 9 real flowers and 1 fake one' thing and say:
"I'll love you until the last one dies."
"Okay, here. I'll speed up the process. Incendio!"
*flowers burst into flames and disintegrates*
"..."
10. Talk to her normally:
"So... You're not impressed, then, Lily?"
"Nope. Are you gonna set your pants on fire next?"
"Would that impress you?"
"It would amuse me."
"Hmm... Then would you go on a date with me?"
"Does your entire life revolve around trying to get me to date you?"
"... Well, why won't you go on a date with me?"
"You didn't ask me to."
"Yeah I did!"
"Not lately. Nowadays, you've been running around being a bigger idiot than usual."
"... So, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me, then?"
"Nope. I have plans."
"Darn."
Poor James. He still didn't get his date. Maybe next time.
Or not.
How was it? I didn't particularly like the ending, though.