Disclaimer: I don't own Nuriko, although I came so close, as you'll see.... *sobs*
Warning: The first few lines of this story actually took place in real life, with my sister. Tragic, isn't it? This fic being inspired by real life events!
Starring:
Skipsida, the very cool and modest obsessive
fanfic author
Nuriko, the also very cool, androgynous
boy
Frogi, Skipsida's younger and very annoying
sister
A sales clerk, who goes into shock at
the slightest thing out of the ordinary
A priest, who is very annoying and narrowminded
Catt, Skipsida's friend and evil twin
(well, that's what we claim anyway!)
Anyway....
The Scene: Skipsida is sitting in front of a computer, with her sister hovering behind her.
Skipsida: Go away! I'm on the net! *looks
back at the monitor*
Frogi: Who is that
Skipsida: It's Nuriko! He's cool! ^_^
Frogi: He?
Skipsida: He's a guy, he's just a crossdresser
and he's terrific! *gazes adoringly at pictures of Nuriko*
Frogi: You're in love with this guy, aren't
you?
Skipsida: No I'm not... well maybe a little...
okay, a lot! Yay! He's just so excellent!
Frogi: You're in love with an anime character?!
What next, marriage?! O_O
Skipsida: *Nuriko appears* What an excellent
idea!
Nuriko: *shrugs* Okay, why not? ^_^
Skipsida: *bounces around enthusiastically*
Great! We get the...
Skipsida and Nuriko: *stars in their eyes*
Great White Dresses! *materialise in a formal wear shop*
Nuriko: (I'm in heaven!) Ooh, ooh, ooh!
You have to try on this one! *shoves a dress in Skipsida's direction*
Skipsida: And you must get this one, it
matches your eyes and hair! *they march into the changeroom*
Clerk: *a middle aged woman. She gazes
fondly at their direction, imagining the money she's going to get out of
this* Very pretty, what is the occasion?
Skipsida: A wedding!
Clerk: That's very nice, are you the bridesmaids?
Skipsida: No, duh! Note the dresses? We're
getting married!
Clerk: A double wedding?
Skipsida: No, silly, we're marrying each
other!
Clerk: *gulps* R...really? Urm, darling,
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but one of you has to wear a
suit, you do understand?
Skipsida: Okay, fine! *grabs a tuxedo
and grudgingly storms into the changeroom again and emerges wearing tails,
minus the top hat and cane* Okay, satisfied?
Clerk: *gulps again* O_O
Nuriko: How are we going to pay for all
this?
Clerk: *brightens up and heads for the
till*
Skipsida: *pulls out Tamahome's credit
card, evil grin on her face* We so are going to go on a shopping
spree on our honeymoon!
Nuriko: *evil grin* Where did you get
that?
Skipsida: Stole it from his pants!
Skipsida and Nuriko: Sucked in Tamahome!
*walk out, still wearing the dress and tails, hand in hand, the clerk giving
them weird looks. They march into a church*
Skipsida: Hey, priest-dude, marry us,
please!
Priest: *an elderly man, a bit short sighted.
He spots the dress and tails* Why certainly... *walks closer and sees them
properly for the first time* No, sorry, same-sex marriages are against
the law. And homosexuality is a sin!
Skipsida and Nuriko: Grrrrr! >:-O *clench fists and grit teeth*
Skipsida: *walks over, furious and shoves
bust in his direction* Are you saying I'm a man?!
Priest: *scared at being confronted by
breasts in his face* N...no! It's just that she's a woman!
Skipsida: Nuriko? You thought he...? *laughs*
Baka!
Priest: *relieved* Oh, so he's a man...
well, that's different then!
Skipsida: *furious again* So it's different
if he's a man, huh? Well, gender doesn't matter, love is love, you're an
idiot! Come, Nurikins! Nuriko: *bashs the Priest into a wall*
Skipsida and Nuriko: Baka! *they storm
out, furious, arm in arm*
Priest: Eep! *passes out* @_@
Skipsida: *pulls her mobile out. Where
from? I dunno, thin air, perhaps?* Hey, Catt, you're a high priestess,
right? Can you marry me and Nuriko?
Catt: Skiiiipppy! You didn't tell me you were involved with anyone, let
alone engaged!
Skipsida: That's a point, we need rings!
Nuriko: *pulls two out of thin air*
Skipsida: Uh, nevermind. Oh, Catt, it's
so great, Nuriko is bi too! We tried to get a priest to marry us but he
was being stupid, to cut a long story short, we're in a park, having ditched
the dress and are both wearing tuxedos.
Catt: Cool!
Skipsida: So, can you do it then?
Catt: *appears right next to them* Sure! *gazes at Nuriko* Oooh... sexy...
urm... is Nuriko a guy or girl? *embarassed*
Skipsida: Does it matter?
Catt: With us?
Skipsida and Catt: Nah! ^_^
Nuriko: Urm, well? -_-;;
Catt: Do you take each Skipsida to be
your lawful wedded wife, promise to give her cookies and a hug when she's
depressed and a great time when she's not?
Nuriko: Yep.
Catt: Skip?
Skipsida: Yes
Catt: Do you promise to make sure that
if one of you has a snoring problem you'll get something done about it
before the honeymoon?
Skipsida and Nuriko: Yes!
Catt: Do you promise to never get caught
screwing someone else unless it is in a threesome with both of you involved?
Skipsida and Nuriko: O_O *exchange glances
and Catt* Er... yes....
Catt: Well, since there's no one to object,
I'll have to ask you, are you sure about this?
Skipsida and Nuriko: Of cour... *stop* Uh oh!
Catt: What? *rolls eyes*
Skipsida: I've just remembered... out
of the girls, I still have a slight crush on you and Nuriko is in love
with Miaka.
Nuriko: Out of the guys, I'm in love with
Hotohori and Skipsida drools over him and basically all of the Fushigi
Yuugi cast, not to mention Chris, Denzel and a few other people from her
school.
Skipsida: *whacks him* Except Miboshi
and Ashitare!
Nuriko: Well, I should hope not!
Catt: Ah...
Skipsida and Nuriko: This means we won't
be able to drool, what'll we do? *collapse into each other's arms and wail*
Catt: Not get married?
Skipsida: Why didn't we think of that?
*appear in the loungeroom, on a sofa, together*
Nuriko: Well, that was easy ^_^
Skipsida: Feel like a kiss?
Nuriko: Yep! *they pull out a packet of
Hershey's kisses and start eating them, enthusiastically*
Skipsida: Let's make a promise, never
to let any dumb guy or girl get in between us!
Nuriko: Aw... *they hug*
Hotohori: *enters the room* Has anyone
seen the stapler?
Skipsida and Nuriko: *spring apart* On
second thoughts, screw that, it's every person for themself! *simultaneously
glomp onto one one of Hotohori's arms each*
Skipsida's Ravings:
*dodges the fangirls who are out to kill
her as a result of this story* Yes, it was weird, I thought of it at 11pm
and was hyper on chocolate at the time! Blame my sister, like I said, she
actually was partially to blame for this insanity! And Nuriko, if only
it were true! Or maybe even Tasuki! Or Hotohori, or...
Nuriko: See what I mean?
Skipsida: Yeah, we'd probably be having
affairs on the first night of our honeymoon! O_O Could have been fun! *giggles*
Nuriko: You perverted child! *giggles*
Actually, with Hotohori-sama involved...
Skipsida and Nuriko: *whack their heads
simultaneously* Impure thoughts! Must have clean mind! *laugh at the chances
of that ever happening*