Disclaimer: if I own this, I wouldn't be settling on writing these stupid fanfics…and Hotohori and Nuriko would live happily everafter…and Nuriko won't be a girl in the next OVA!

What? I'm bored…

LESSONS FY IMPARTED ON ME…

NEVER try to eat food suspiciously placed in the middle of the forest.

…in case you ate it already, and find yourself in trouble, a big broken plate shard would do the trick.

If you're not sure about one's sex…FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP GROPING!

Don't climb a mountain alone.

If you see a wolf on a snowy place, run for your life.

Always watch wrestling.

When in a strange place…STAY OUT OF THE ALLEYS!
Don't trust anyone who talks to a clam.

…and has feathers on his head.

Come to think of it, don't trust any guy who wears paint on his face 24/7.

If you see someone's face peeling off, don't worry, they always have a spare.

In ancient China, never laugh at guys who wear ducky shoes and bucket hats, they just might be the Emperor.

If you want to see a dead friend, always get in trouble.

…or if you want to see just one dead friend, have a huge chunk of wall fall on you.

Never introduce a new drink to a friend, you'd die the next day.

DON'T charge a blond guy head-on without your powers.

Don't let your tears fall on a book, you might drown the characters.

With twins, there's always a good, deceiving one, and an obsessive one.

Hair can defy gravity.

Give bad guys a break, they have a reason for being such bastards.

If you punch through someone, you can see their past.

Marry a lost love's look-alike.

Don't accept any kind of drink from someone you don't know much, it's poison.

When two cute souls ask you to strip, go ahead, it's just a test.

When a girl disappears and says she's got "girl problems," believe me, she's off to either get herself killed or raped.

Never scream or turn your back on an ugly old woman.

Venerate Chickens.

…and blue Dragons.

…and white Tigers.

…and animals of different kinds who mate.

Hell, worship all kinds of animals!

It's good to be Miko.

Never get in the way of pissed chickens and dragons.

When you see someone without a shadow, run.

When you see someone without a reflection, hide your neck…and don't tell him.

Ancient Chinese language is very similar to modern Japanese.

Always have tact or be prepared to get propelled to the nearest wall.

Never look for missing persons in lakes.

…then again…

Just cuz a guy always wears sunglasses don't mean he doesn't have eyes.

NEVER include 'Miaka naked' in a drinking game, you'll have one hell of a hangover.

…for that matter, don't include 'Miaka crying' as well.

…and hearing the words 'Miaka' and 'Tamahome' consecutively.

Long, flowing hair *can* fit in a tiny square hat.

Don't watch ep. 33 and expect it to not have the same effect. (WAHHHH!!!!!)

Screaming "Lekka Shinen" in public makes people think you're a freak.

A paper fan is not a good substitute to a tessen, it burns.

Not all matching bracelets give you superhuman strength.

Dressing up as your dead sister is very endearing.

…and help you get most of the girls.

Don't get your hopes up on a legend.

One can't command one's feelings.

Geez…do I seem bored or what? This is what a vacation does to a person, I guess. I might write more, depends on how bored I am in the future. And I'm serious about the drinking game thing. Really.