A/N: Ah… so much time to write… What can I do, I have my hands tied for TWO weeks… Damn it! Stupid computer! As for the "As Far As We Can Get", people don't kill me, I've written the lemon and when my new computer arrives, I swear I'll write the rest and I'll post it ASAP! Now I just wanted something different… and I'm bored! ;)
WARNING: Rape, violence, language. For whoever gets crept out by rape scenes: I don't recommend it to ya!
Flashback
"Well yeah, thanks for nothing, you snake!"
"Watch your mouth, young man! If you haven't noticed yet, you are at my complete mercy! And give me one reason why I should spare you!"
"I'm not giving you a chance, whatever! You won't have us here forever, as you think… You don't have a body!"
"Seto, be careful! He's not a sane man, who knows what he might do!"
"I don't have a body, but I'll soon enough take one. Yours, Seto, as I said before."
"Yeah? Well I'd like to see you try!"
"Seto don't provoke him!" Her chocolate hair brushed her shoulders as she was screaming at him.
"Too late girl… too late."
SXT
There's nothing pretty at that…
There's nothing pretty about me.
"Join us, or you'll be annihilated just like the Pharaoh! Choose, Seto Kaiba! You've been given a chance to walk the right path! Join Orichalkos!" Dartz's voice thundered, while he himself was standing in front of the three gigantic snake sculptures, which the previous time had taken for sacrifice the power of the Three Egyptian Gods. He was looking down at Kaiba Seto, one of the former chosen Duelists.
And there was just a smirk.
"Fuck off."
"I think he's not willing to comply, Master Dartz." Rafael's deep voice observed, while he was holding the brunette duelist captured, totally immobilized. A little behind them were standing Valon and Alister, the former seeming bored and the later with a peculiar glint in his dark eyes. Seeing the body of Kaiba Seto bent and forced down, was simply too much of a pleasure.
"Very well… It's a pity, though. Such a young and pretty boy… Punish him." Dartz made a dismissive motion with his hand.
"May I, Master Dartz?" Alister stepped ahead, interrupting the whole process. Seto shot him a glare screaming murder. "After all, I have some open business to finish with him." He grinned wickedly.
"Might as well, Alister."
"Shall I kill him?" Alister's glance marked Seto's exposed neck.
"No. We're the light, they are the darkness. We don't kill, they do. We just eliminate their spirits."
Silence.
"Rape him."
Wide blue eyes stared at the man, right before a hand was buried in their owner's chestnut hair. Seto's head was jerked away, and he screamed and fought against it, while he was lead somewhere else...
To no avail.
SXT
"No! Get off of me!" Kicking and fighting and screaming and… how futile it was, really.
"Why? I'm not letting you go, Kaiba… this is my revenge!" Cold gray eyes. Like steel.
"Your revenge of what? Let me go, you moronic imbecile! It's not me you want revenge from! I've done nothing to you!" Nothing, nothing, nothing!!
"Your stepfather killed my brother!"
"But I didn't! I'm not my stepfather! I…"
"You're even worse than him!" Cut off, pinned on a mattress, hands on me, grabbing, pulling…
"You let your brother down, and now you turn your rage into me, for you're too much of a coward to face it yourself!" So what?
"Shut up!"
Kiss. I can't breathe. I don't want this…this…
He pulls away. "Nice taste, Kaiba. Or shall I call you Seto for now?"
"Stop it! Stop it!" My head tossed to the side.
"I don't fucking think so… Seto!"
Clothes, all over the floor. All mine. Nothing his. Of course, he wasn't going to bare himself in front of me, for I wasn't worth of it. I was just a toy. An instrument in his way of vengeance.
Gods, how do I fight the tears?
There's nothing pretty…
"Nice body… Seto. Really. Very nice body."
Hands on my bare abdomen…
No, no, nothing pretty.
"Stop it…"
Legs spread apart. The sound of unzipping… The quick motions of shoving down what separated him from me… from my skin. My legs hoisted upon his shoulders… he's coming closer…
Why? Why ain't anybody coming? Where are they? Why aren't here yet? Flashes of Mokuba, and Yugi, and Joey, and Tristan, and her, and…
Someone… anyone!
"Stop it… Alister…"
Here's the word, at the end of my tongue. Fighting desperately to get out, in one hopeless attempt to prevent the inevitable. To one attempt! The only thing that holds it back… my pride.
But it slips… it slips…
"P-Please…"
And then everything… doesn't matter anymore.
My body jerks behind, in an attempt to get away…
Hands on my thighs. I'm not going anywhere. He's coming closer. I bet he has a huge smile plastered in his face… I don't want to see his face!
"No! Please Alister, please! Please! Don't, please! Please, I haven't done anything to you, it's not fair… It's not fair!"
It's not fair…
Are those tears, rimming from my eyelids? Am I crying? Am I sobbing? Am I withering? Am I shuddering?
Do I care?
"Seto…"
Was that my name? Yeah, it is. He said it before.
His skin touches mine. And more. And more. It hurts…
It hurts! No more! Please, no more!
He doesn't listen to me, or didn't I say anything? He goes into me, more and more… But he goes slowly. From what I know, he could have been harsher…
And I didn't even want to imagine the pain if he did so. I'm screaming, as loud as I can, in order to release some of the pain bestowed upon me. He penetrates me, I don't want… He stops, and I stop with him, biting hard my lips. I close my eyes. I don't want to see him. I refuse to do so.
About the harsh thing… Now I realize.
He pulls back. Then slams into. Again. And again. And again. Did I think it hurt previously? What a laugh. This is what hell is supposed to feel like. This is the way a knife into the core should hurt. My lower body is searing onto flames, he's fucking me, and he's hurting me, and he has his fun. I can feel him ripping me, unmerciful and unregretful. I know he enjoys it… I know he cherishes it. Going as far inside me as he can. I know it pleasures him.
I don't have a voice to scream now; when he started fucking I was screaming at each thrust, I could not stop. But my body cries and mourns at its own, because my throat refuses to obey, it hurts too. My eyes unfocused… and he keeps fucking. I don't want to look at him. Who would want to look at the one tearing them to shreds?
So this is it… That's how it feels when you get violated. No one has humiliated me more… No one has hurt me more.
No one.
But… I don't hate him.
I pity myself. I'm pathetic.
Pity.
Pathetic.
And he made me so.
When will he stop? I can't take it anymore… Why doesn't he just kill me? It would have ended quicker. Why does he still keeps pounding into me, hasn't he already taken everything? Dug my core…
Some strangled cries are escaping my mouth. That must have made him grin. What can I do? I can't scream… I don't have… any… power left…
He hits even harder into me and my vision becomes dull; I can vaguely realize that this must be the end, for I feel hot liquid coming up my back passage. He stays there… I can only catch a glimpse of the stained with blood and cum blue sheets… The first mine, the second his.
He's still inside me. He doesn't move…
Wait, is he leaning closer?
My vision is blurred from the tears, and I don't want to see him, either way. So I shut them tightly down, and turn my head away.
Is that a hand, cupping and caressing my cheek gently?
"Come on, my beauty… Open your gems."
Never! If that's the only thing left for me to fight, damn I'll fight! I don't want him to see me… I don't…
The hand goes upon my eyelids. "Come on…" His voice croons. "What harm can that cause? I've already… taken you…"
I won't look at him; neither will I talk to him. I don't care. If he took me? He took everything he could from me… from me! The worst that he could do to me, he did. Anything else will be a relief…
The hand goes into my hair.
"Seto…" He slips out of me… then he goes a little forward again…
Again? He wanted more? Not again!
"No, no… please not again!" Hoarse, choked out whisper. Why don't I die? Or pass out… why haven't I done so yet? I wanted so much to just stop existing right that moment… I opened my eyes at accident, and happened to stare exactly at his gray ones.
Mine were glistening with tears…
Were his… soft?
I let my eyelids fall softly shut once again. Then I felt his hand wiping away the tears. I jerk and look again at him with confusion; why so?
Why, why, why?
"Hush…" He pulled out of me and my body started trembling, fearing he'd slam into again. But he, instead, zipped his pants and got out of the bed.
I kept staring at him. Expressionless, this time.
"I'll put your pants on… only those." He said, after some minutes of his back turned towards me. "Maybe I'll knock you out first – I have a pill. I'll leave you outside Pharaoh's door… This way he'll grasp the message and won't do a thing as we fix this world."
My body made an attempt to cry again. I didn't want people… find this out. I couldn't handle it. Their pity, their disrespect…
They hadn't come to me… for me. They hadn't. Was I really expecting them to?
"No… I don't…" My God, why?
"They'll take care of you." He interrupted me. He abruptly turned to face me and ran towards me, cupping my face with his hands, looking straight into my eyes. "I've seen the way they treat you. You're precious to them. You'll be fine."
Precious? I'm not precious to anybody.
Why does he care?
Is there a chance he has regretted what he's done to me?
No. No, no, no.
"I… I'm not precious to anybody…" Leaving that out… My chest felt so much lighter… And anger for my unfair (then again, who was up to judge that?) punishment struck. "Then again, how could I be?" I glared at him, reminding of my old self. "Since I'm responsible for all of my stepfather's sins… and punished for them."
Why? Why did you do that to me?
I never told him that. But I think he pretty much grasped the message from my tears.
"You are precious to me."
What?
Before I could utter a word – not that I could, he was kissing me again. Now softly and gently. I closed my eyes, if he wanted it, he could have it. It wasn't like there was anything left from me… When he pulled away, I managed to mutter: "I… I like a girl…" Who never liked me, and nor she'll ever do. But the fact remained untouched.
"I know."
Huh?
"That doesn't matter."
Right. She'd never spare me a glance, whatever.
"Seto…"
What did he want, what did he want?
I'm grateful he never completed his sentence. The feeling of the syringe in my neck that would lead me unconscious was blessed…
SXT
I could hear footsteps… up and down, left and right. Hectic movements, passing shadows. Still, I could tell that there was only one person in the room.
I opened my eyes to catch a glimpse. I didn't remember… Yet, I had this awful premonition that something terrible had happened. The last thing I remembered… Was going to work… yesterday… perhaps.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on a different bed of what I was used to. I was still hearing the footsteps from a room nearby. I narrowed my eyes. Whose the house was I in?
I felt cold… what had happened to me? Why couldn't I remember?
I stared at the door of the room, without starting to notice its surroundings. They didn't matter.
When Tea Gardner walked in, I felt lost.
We made full eye contact, saying absolutely nothing. She was holding a plate… For what was it?
Suddenly I found my voice, though something was telling me that I should have stayed silent. "What happened? Why am I here?" I asked her, trying to find my old tone. Why wouldn't it return?
Her gaze softened. "You don't remember anything of what happened?"
"No…"
She stepped closer, placing the plate on the tallboy and sitting at the edge of the bed. To my outmost surprise and detest, my body jerked involuntarily away. Why? It was just Tea, for God's sake!
And she saw it. Her eyes were so sad, when they locked with mine… Full of damn pity! I hated her and myself for bringing this emotion in surface!
Wait… Pity… What sounded so familiar? So aching familiar?
I was to sit up at the bed to talk to her – I obviously had to – but as I made the motion to…
I felt it.
It was vague, but it was there. The pain that reminded me full of what had truly happened.
I cried out like a wounded animal, closing my eyes and burying my face into my hands. I wanted so much to cry… but she was there, I couldn't! Seto Kaiba never cries! Seto Kaiba is strong! Seto Kaiba is cruel! Seto Kaiba…
Is raped.
The tears cascaded like she wasn't there. Hot streams of shame and self-loathing made their way down to my cheeks, my neck, finally wetting my chest. She didn't say anything; she just stayed there looking at me. I didn't want her there! I didn't want anyone! I wanted someone to love me… someone to hold me and tell me that's gonna be okay… someone who would mean it!
For the first time after many-many years, I found myself calling for my parents again. I couldn't even remember them, but they meant so much to me! They would hold me… They were the only source of protection I ever had. Why? Why did they have to die? If they hadn't, all these wouldn't have happened to me! I would have been happy…
I wouldn't have been abused…
I wouldn't have been raped.
Not only couldn't I stop crying, but also now I started to sob even harder. I couldn't suppress the hiccups that were making my whole body shake – and honestly, I didn't care. Yeah, look at the mighty Seto Kaiba now! Scoff him, mock him; he's crying… The weakling! What a laugh! He finally got shattered – what a satisfaction! The asshole got what he deserved… Isn't it great?
Those thoughts, speaking with so many voices, from that snake of a stepfather of mine, Gozaburo, to the mutt, Joey Wheeler, one of Gardner's best friends, wouldn't stop echoing in my mind, and they certainly didn't make the situation better. Though an honest part of me was telling that Joey would never say something like that.
Another part, more honest, told me I didn't really know.
I had somewhat started to calm down, when I realized the arms wrapped around me. God was I really that numb that I hadn't even noticed? I was feeling dizzy from the crying… it had exhausted me…
Tea pushed me softly back in the cushions and fixed the sheets covering me. Then she leaned down and gave me a lingering kiss on the forehead…
So warm… so caring… so loving…
If only it was true…
If only.
When she pulled back, she took the plate she had placed at the tallboy, and I could see that it had something like a desert inside – and a spoon. She took a piece with it and led it to my mouth.
"Come on." She whispered. "It's something I've made. You'll like it." Seeing I was not responding, she continued. "The base is honey."
I tried it, only not to insult her. It was good… and miraculously, reduced the bitterness I was feeling in my soul. Just from some sweetness on my tongue… it did made me feel better. And something else was telling me that Tea wanted to feed me, and she knew I'd have lost my appetite… after what had happened.
I took another bite, to reduce the sadness.
I had finished it in some minutes – when she gave me the iced water… God bless her and it. There's nothing more healing for the soul than the cold water. Nothing more refreshing – like you're born again… If that meant I would have a normal life if that could happen, I would eagerly give it a shot.
I leaned back on the bed, feeling like a baby after its lunch. Really…
Only that I wasn't in any mood of sleeping.
Now that I had calmed down, I started finding my old self. I looked at Tea questioningly, but sadly nonetheless. "How did I end up here?" I asked her. Alister had said something about leaving me outside Pharaoh's door… I didn't remember very well.
She lowered her eyes. "I found you outside my door. Someone had left you there… hadn't he?"
"Yeah…" My voice was hoarse.
"I got you in, and took care of your wounds." Her face and tone were expressionless. "I gave you a bath and pain-killers afterwards. Whoever it was… had caused you a great damage. He was… very harsh…"
I almost gulped at the memory. Yes…
She leaned towards me, to stare into my eyes. "Who was it, Seto? Who did this to you?"
Of course, what was I thinking all this time! No matter why everybody were calling me a selfish bastard! What the hell was I doing weeping like a baby, instead of warning them? I shot up to my sit, not minding the pain. "That psychos with the Orichalkos are back! They are worse and stronger than before, you have to warn Yugi and Joey!"
"What?" Her look was incredulous. "What do you mean, Dartz, Rafael, Alister and Valon?"
"Exactly." I gritted my teeth. "Dartz ordered Alister to do that to me… Not that Alister himself didn't want it." My eyes narrowed to that expression that terrified every single one of my opponents, my hatred boiling into my depths. Funny, I didn't know I had any. "They wanted to use me as a way to terrorize Yugi, so as he wouldn't try to stop them this time. If he got in the way, his friends would have to pay the price, and seeing me, it wouldn't be lenient…" I was seething, and she was terrified. "They chose me because they thought I'd want to join them for power… but I'm not as stupid as Mai was." I lowered my head. "Of course, I paid dearly."
"To terrorize Yugi…" She repeated, like being hypnotized. "To terrorize us." She looked up at me. "And they left you at my door?"
"I think Alister said that he'd leave me outside Yugi's door…" I rubbed my eyes. "I… I don't remember much, because… I really don't want to think about…"
When I looked at her eyes, they were stoned. "They will regret this." She spat, rage and hatred in her azure eyes. She shot herself up. "I won't tell a thing to anyone, Seto. You'll stay here until this is all over!"
A/N: Yep, I tried my hand to yaoi and slight tragedy. Not exactly yaoi, because this is not revengeshipping, but hopefully it will turn to azureshipping once again. The first pages were completely offhanded, but oh well… I decided to post it because I have terrible problems with my computer. If I didn't do so, I'd lose it. Please review!