Dear Fellow Hellsing fans,

I wonder if I'm the first to ever think of this… Well, I think this is going to be one of the shortest things I've ever written. It's also my first Hellsing Fanfic. This is also another first of a book for me, but I won't tell you which one, 'cuz that would give away everything. Well, I hope you enjoy.

One Helluva Surprise

By

Redd Dawn

It was supposed to be a routine mission: Dispose of any ghouls who got in the way, and seek and destroy the host vampire. But things just went so very very wrong.

Alucard's and Ceras' first clue that something was amiss was that there didn't seem to be any ghouls at all. Well, that's not entirely true; Alucard was a bit suspicious when he discovered that the apparently infested building was a produce shipping plant. That was a bit strange. But it wasn't as if strange things had never happened to the vampire, so he just went to do his job: finding the host vampire.

The best (and only real place) to hide was on the second floor in the offices. So that's where Alucard headed. It was on his way that he noticed the odd lack of ghouls.

……..

"What the hell's going on?" Ceras whispered to her self as she went about the first floor, looking for any ghouls. There weren't any. That was… really… strange… But then she heard a rustling sound coming from a door that was on the other side of the room she was in. She made for it.

………

Alucard had decided to take his time with this one. He had a strange feeling that was akin to foreboding, and perhaps a bit of De Ja Vu. So he walked at a steady pace up the stairs. He was fairly certain that he knew where the host vampire was hiding. Feeling of foreboding aside, he smiled as he made it to the second floor.

………….

Ceras made it quickly to the door. She took a deep breath, took a tighter grip on that cannon of hers, and kicked the door open, ready for anything- Except nothing at all, witch was exactly what she got.

………….

Alucard strode down the narrow hallway leading to the main office. That was where he would find the host vampire, he knew it.

……..

But wait. There was still that rustling noise. Where was that coming from? She went into the room cautiously. It was coming from behind those boxes over there. She went over to them on cats paws. She kicked them aside, pointed her Cannon down and saw-

……….

Alucard grinned wide and kicked the door open. "Your time has come," he said, grinning all the while. He aimed his Jackal and saw-

……….

"Wha… Vegetables?" Ceras blinked. She was indeed aiming her Cannon at vegetables. There was a rather large pile sitting on what appeared to be butcher paper. But they weren't normal. They were far from normal. They were all white, and twitching slightly, creating that rustling sound. Ceras moved forward slowly and picked up one of them. It twitched slightly in her hand and she grimaced.

………..

A rabbit. A young rabbit actually. A… bunny…. It was white with black markings that hinted at a cape. Alucard just stood there. It had been years, centuries, since he had been so surprised. The bunny just looked at him. It's nose wiggled and an ear twitched. Around it on the desk it perched on was what appeared to vegetables that had been drained of all pigment. Alucard's superior vision could allow him to see a set of bite marks on all the vegetables. He slowly lowered his gun. The…. bunny… continued to contemplate him. Alucard continued to contemplate the bunny. His eyebrow twitched faintly.

………

As Ceras left the storage room, mutated veggie in hand, she spotted her Master exiting the stairwell that had led to the second floor. He seemed to be put off some how. But at the moment, that wasn't the issue. The issue was the slightly twitching white thing in her hand. "Master! I didn't find any ghouls, just a bunch of weird veg-"

"We're leaving," Alucard said flatly. His eyes set on her, and then on the thing she was holding. Ceras could have sworn she saw his eyebrow twitch. "And… Bring that thing with you…" He stalked away. As he did so, Ceras noticed he was carrying something. For a moment, she thought she saw an ear… A long furry white ear. Was Master Alucard…. carrying a- No, nope, that was impossible, she must have just been seeing things.

Ceras shook herself. "Y-yes master!" she stammered and fallowed her master out of the plant.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Ya know what? I changed my mind, I'm gunna make this longer!