The disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters has gone off to a bar somewhere. Just some more madness out of my tiny mind. References the fics 'The Great Berry Blast' and 'Cat's Cradle' to anyone who gives a darn.
Five Bad Guys In A Bar
The Iron Spike bar on Asteroid Z in the Delnaba System was known far and wide as one of the toughest, meanest outlaw hideouts in the galaxy. Only the fiercest and most insane criminals dared to step foot inside this den of thieves and villainy. It was not a place for the weak and timid.
"No, Nimrod I don't think the bartender knows how to make a Pink Cosmopolitan with a fluffy straw in it!" Lazarus Slade snapped to one of his companions.
Apparently tonight was an exception.
"I was just asking!" Nimrod the Cat pouted.
"Just have a Comet Beer and calm down," Reggit, his tiger man lover waved.
"Yeah! I know people here!" Slade snapped. "It's bad enough you forced me to be on the run from the Queen until her temper cools off. Do you have to ruin my reputation as well."
"I don't think it's us people are watching," Reggit pointed over to the people next to them at the bar. Two familiar figures were arguing.
"I am still not talking to you!" Brainchild snapped.
"Oh for crying out loud!" Kilbane snapped. "How long are you going to hold a grudge over that? I made one tiny little mistake…"
"A little mistake?" Brainchild snapped. "A little mistake? You got high on Lingling berries and blew up an entire planet! The planet where I was running a million dollar a week illegal business and you destroyed it! Millions of dollars and a perfect base of operations down the drain!"
"It was just a little planet and there were too many volcanoes anyway," Kilbane grunted. "And it's not like I was the only one that was drunk!"
"No, but you were the only one using those proton cannons and shooting high powered lasers into the volcanoes!" Brainchild shouted.
"No I wasn't!" Kilbane snapped. "I think."
"That will be a first," Slade snorted.
"Oh great," Kilbane glared as he saw who was sitting next to them. "Just what we need. Stooges for the Queen!"
"Oh don't worry we're on the lam from her Royal Heinous too," Nimrod waved.
"I can't wait to hear this one," Brainchild grumbled. "What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it! Let's just say it was all Nimrod's fault!" Slade snapped.
"I know exactly how you feel," Brainchild glared at Kilbane.
"Was Gooseman there?" Kilbane asked.
"Yeah but as I stated before Nimrod was to blame for the whole fiasco!" Slade told him.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Kilbane growled.
"Here we go…" Brainchild grumbled.
"No it really was Nimrod's fault," Reggit said.
"Hey!" Nimrod snapped.
"Truth hurts darling," Reggit shrugged.
"Drop it, just drop it…" Brainchild warned.
"Gooseman was there. It was his fault!" Kilbane snapped.
"I told you people to drop it!" Brainchild groaned. He glared at Kilbane. "And you wonder why I don't return your phone calls!"
"What?" Kilbane asked.
"What? What do you mean what?" Brainchild snapped. "You think I enjoy hearing your theories about Gooseman and how he has ruined the universe just to spite you? You know there are other people that have screwed us before you know? Commander Walsh? Remember him? Dr. Nagata? Those jerks on the Board of Leaders? But do you go for any variety at all and talk about them? Noooooooooo! It's always Gooseman! Goose! Goose! Goose! That's all you talk about! I swear if you talk about the Runt one more time…"
"I have a vendetta," Kilbane snapped. "It's like a hobby with an edge to it. It helps me relax!"
"If you were any more 'relaxed' you'd be in a booby hatch somewhere!" Brainchild snapped. "Just shut up about Gooseman! I don't want to hear it!"
"Fine! I won't talk about it!" Kilbane snapped.
"Great! Then don't!" Brainchild shouted. "Bartender! Another Shooting Star and don't spare the asteroid shots!"
"Here we go…" Kilbane grumbled. "And you think I have a problem."
"What? I'm not allowed to have a drink or two?" Brainchild snapped. "I need something to get me through your ranting about You Know Who!"
"Two? You've had twelve since I sat down here!" Kilbane snapped.
"And you don't see a connection with that?" Brainchild yelled. "Seriously! You do not see that there is a pattern here?"
"Boy and I though we had relationship problems," Nimrod said to Reggit.
"WE DO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP!" Kilbane roared. "At least not like yours!"
"Yeah I can do a lot better than him!" Brainchild snapped, pointing at Kilbane.
"Me? Take a look in a mirror Frog Face!" Kilbane snapped. "You're not exactly Bachelor of the Month either!"
"At least I'm a lot better conversationalist than you are!" Brainchild yelled.
"I miss my Royal Patootie…" Slade sniffed.
"Oh dry up you drip!" Kilbane snapped.
"I don't even know why I am sitting here listening to you!" Brainchild snapped. "Seriously! I don't!"
"Maybe because your social calendar isn't exactly full!" Kilbane snapped.
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU BLEW IT UP ALONG WITH MY BUSINESS!" Brainchild shouted. "AND THE PLANET I WAS RUNNING IT ON!"
"And you accuse me of holding onto a grudge!" Kilbane yelled. "What? You can complain about me ruining your life and I can't complain about Gooseman ruining mine?"
"EXACTLY!" Brainchild snapped.
"Boy Kilbane you really have it bad for the Goose don't you?" Nimrod chuckled.
"What did you say?" Kilbane whirled on Nimrod.
"Oh come on Kilbane!" Nimrod said. "It's obvious! You're in love with Gooseman!"
"WHAT?" Kilbane roared. "I AM NOT!"
"It's no big deal if you have a crush on him," Nimrod waved. "I mean it's not exactly unheard of to fall for a badge. And as lawmen go Gooseman is cute."
"HE IS NOT!" Kilbane roared.
"Please, that blond hair, green eyes," Nimrod purred. "All those muscles…"
"Hey!" Reggit snapped. "Is there something I should know about?"
"Oh please! He doesn't even have fur," Nimrod waved. "Well usually he doesn't. Even if he did he's not my type. Too much of a straight arrow."
"Emphasis on straight which I am!" Kilbane snapped. "I am not now, nor ever been in love with Gooseman! Got it?"
"You know that does explain a lot why you're so obsessed with him," Slade spoke up. "What? Is it some kind of unrequited love thing or something?"
"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DEAD!" Kilbane roared and tackled Slade. Before anyone knew it, a full blown brawl had emerged in the middle of the bar.
"I think I just figured out how I am gonna get back at Kilbane," Brainchild smirked. He ran up to the nearest thug in the bar. "Kilbane is in love with Shane Gooseman! Pass it on!" He then ran to another thug and said the same thing.
"GET OFF ME YOU MANIAC!" Slade shot his laser with one hand randomly, making holes in the ceiling and walls.
"TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!" Kilbane roared.
Reggit and Nimrod watched the brawl with amusement. "Slade was right, this is fun," Reggit snickered.
"Yeah but I know Slade is gonna blame me for this too," Nimrod sighed. "Everything happens to me."