The Phantom of the Opera Meets the Phangirl of the Opera
Chapter One: A New Fear
A/N: Okay so There are some great fics out there about what happens when the characters of our favorite stories the original Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic. There is also A fantastic one by alsdssg called Why fanon and canon don't mix. And a great one by my friend Cassie Winchester called Supernatural meest SUE-pernatural. All of these are fantastic stories and I give then total credit for the idea. Worships amazing writers. So here's my attempt at a Phantom version. I apologize for everyone being a little OOC but it is necissary for the parody side of the story. Also, PLEASE even if you don't review my story review ErikandImakemusicofthenight888's story so that I can respond to them in later chapters. Also If later on anyone would like to write a fake chapter to make it seem as though someone has hacked into ErikandImakemusicofthenight888's account. PM it to me and I may post it later. (Credit goes to alsdssg forthis idea becuse she did it first.) Well, I think that's everything so enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Though If you want to give me Erik I won't object. All I own is ErikandImakemusicofthenight888's and her story. I will be auctioning them of to the highest bidder!
"Honestly Raoul, I can take care of myself." Snapped a rather annoyed Christine. "He said it was urgent and we needed to visit immediately!" She was referring of course to the urgent message she had received from none other than the Phantom of the opera. He claimed he had found something troubling and bid her and Raoul come at once to his Opera House, now in ruins, to see this mysterious item. Raoul however was reluctant to put himself at the Phantom's mercy again. He feared the Phantom had rethought his choice and was planning to take Christine back. Obviously he could not allow it. Unfortunately Christine was determined to go. Guilt from their parting had been eating at her and she jumped at the chance to see her old teacher yet again. "Really Raoul," she started, "I think you're being rather childish about this whole thing. He sent the message in peace and I would think you would be able to move past this." As she spoke she prepared to leave, grabbing her cloak walking out side and pausing just before climbing into the carriage.
"He tried to KILL me Christine. He tried to hold you prisoner!" The flustered Viscount chased his young fiancée as she prepared to leave. At this a look of doubt flashed across Christine's face. But it was quickly replaced by a stronger resolution.
"Well Raoul, you can either let me go alone or you can come with me. The choice is yours." And with that she stepped up into the carriage. Raoul swore and quickly followed her. He'd be damned if he left her alone with that creature!
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After a silent carriage ride into the city the young couple stopped at the charred ruins of what was once the Paris Opera House. An eerie silence seemed to descend as a soft wind blew gently ruffling Christine's hair.
"Well," said Raoul eagerly "I guess he decided not to come. Come now Christine darling let's go back to the carriage and maybe we can even get a nice lunch in the city before…" The viscount trailed off as he saw Christine wander away. Quickly he followed her only to find her holding a note and standing in front of path of roses.
"He always was a romantic" Christine murmured before setting off long the trail. Raoul just glowered.
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They were met at the entrance to the underground cellars by none other than the Phantom himself. Raoul and Christine were surprised to find him looking rather scared.
"Angel, what's wrong?" asked Christine, concerned.
"Not here" was all the Phantom would say before leading them down to his lair. Raoul continued to glare his hand on the hilt of his sword.
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Raoul however was beginning to grow impatient.
"Sir!" he began, "Though we do not have the best past we indulged your request. Now you lead us on with stories of mystery! What was this emergency you contacted us about?" The Phantom whirled around angrily, he had never liked this insolent boy, and now he thought to give him orders!
"Monsieur," he began calmly. "You would do well to keep your hand at the level of your eyes and your tongue firmly between your teeth! It is only because of Christine that I do not kill you right now and even that will not protect you for long." he ended softly, but with enough venom to show Raoul exactly how serious he was. Sufficiently cowed Raoul asked (more politely this time.)
"Right…so…what was this horrible…thing…again?" With a flourish of his cape that could make phangirls swoon he dropped a book on the table. Everyone cringed back.
"What is that monstrosity" shrieked Christine. For there on the table was the most hideous thing any of them had ever laid eyes on. Purple and pink and bursting with glitter edged in feathers and written in gold script was a …
"A diary?" asked Raoul, "What's so bad about that?"
"Are you blind man!?" shouted the Phantom, "It's purple…and pink…and it…" here he cringed "sparkles." The word came out in a whisper.
"Yes, boys I think we can all see that it is a very scary book" began Christine, "But why are we here?" The Phantom gulped.
"Well, I read a part of it and it mentioned all our names. I didn't know what to do so I thought you should be here since you are both just a much a part of this."
"Well obviously the best way to go about figuring out what this is would be to read it." suggested Raoul timidly.
"Alright then Monsieur fop. Why don't you begin?" said the phantom. Raoul looked slightly confused, he was pretty sure that the phantom had just insulted him but he didn't understand the term fop. With a shrug he decided not to worry about it as he slowly reached for the book.
"Okay" he said, "Here goes nothing" And he flipped open the book. A poof of Purple glitter erupted from the book coating Raoul in a faint shimmer. He took a deep breath and began to read.
Helllllllllllllllllllllllo ppls of fnafiction!! ErikandImakemusicofthenight888 here!-
Raoul paused,
"Wait, who's Erik? And what does this person mean by music of the night." He then noticed the Phantom turning a deep red under his mask,
"Well," he muttered, "Erik is my name…"
"But then why are you called the Phantom of the Opera" asked Christine. Erik shrugged.
"Well it has more to do with the image" he explained "People just don't take you seriously if you're Erik of the Opera. Phantom sounds much better."
"Oh. Well I like Erik. It fits." said Christine with a shy smile.
"Christine!" gasped Raoul.
"Shut up fop and keep reading" growled Erik. But Raoul kept questioning.
"And what about the Music of the night part? That sounds vaguely dirty."
"JUST READ" shouted Erik
"Alright, alright, calm down" muttered Raoul before starting the story once again.
Dis is mah first fanficcc so plz b nice! I LUVVV Erik frm soooo dis iz gonna b alllll about him! It's calldd The phntom oz teh opre finds lurveee. I luv revews so plz plz plz r8r!!
This time it was Erik who stopped him.
"Gah! This girl is making a mockery of the English language! What is wrong with her? It's usually polite to make sure that your readers can actually understand what you're trying to write!" Raoul and Christine watched Erik continue his rant for another good five minutes. Finally Christine was able to calm him down and sit him in a chair muttering soothing words as he continued to mutter about horrible grammer and suggestive themes. Suddenly he burst out again, "WHY AM I ALWAYS THE VICTIM?" Raoul grinned, he was liking this form of Erik torture. Once Erik's hand's stopped twitching for his Punjab lasso Raoul cleared his throat and started again.
Once upon atime they're was a beyootiful grl named Harmony Joy Sparkly-poo Beauty Angela Mary Sylvia Bella Fancy Lissa Roxy Alexa Megan Fairy Pretty Pinky
"Well that's a long name" Erik interjected.
byt everyonez just callled het Harmony becauze of heer beyootifull voice. She had beyootiful stik stragt haris with perfect curzs and she was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy prettier then that uglyz Kristen.
"Kristin?" said a shocked Christine, "Please tell me that's not supposed to be me!" Raoul sighed,
"No Christine I'm sure it's not. No one's beauty could ever surpass yours." He declared passionately. His fiancée reassured he picked up the book yet again.
Kristin waz sew ugly that Harmony didn't undrestand whyteh phntom culd evr luv hr.
Meanwhile the real Christine was fuming and beginning to turn a rather interesting shate of purple.
Shhhe wus Ugly. Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly- Raoul broke off
"Um…there's three more pages of Uglys." He stated. Seeing Christine's face he added nervously, "I'll just be skipping those then heh heh…let's see what's next"
UGLY! Harmony tho waz beautifullllll! She hadd stik strgt brown blond blak hairs wth pinksh purple hihliht and it waz sooooooooooo shiney! It glittred lyk the mourning sun onnn the prtttest lake in a beyootiful mountain filled w/ presious jewlz in the middel of juneee.
"How can that be!" exclaimed Christine. "You can't have brown/black/blonde hair, and it can't be perfectly straight and curly. It's a contradiction!"
"Mary Sues often are." Came a voice from the doorway.
"MADAME GIRY!" gasped the three shocked voices.
"What are you doing here ?" asked Christine.
"I thought I told you not to come here anymore" growled Erik.
"Now, now Erik mind your temper. I'm only here to help." Looking to the table and the source of their distress she picked up the book. "Where did you find this Erik" she whispered nervously.
"It was among the other books in my library. I found it under my architecture books." He answered, almost defensively.
"Excuse me Madame" interrupted Christine, "But you never did tell us why you're here."
"Well my dear I am here to help you. You see I've had dealings with these things in the past and I think my knowledge may help you." She finished with a smug smile, "That is unless Erik still wants me to leave…" They all turned to look at the phantom, he muttered something incoherent.
"So Mary sues," began Raoul, "Is that what Harmony is?"
"Well" began Madame Giry, "Does Harmony have many long names?" They nodded. "Does she go on and on about the utter perfection of her appearance?" They nodded again. "Does she claim to be in love with Erik?" they nodded a third time. Madame sighed, "I'm afraid so. You see Mary Sues come from a world where we are just a story. They know everything-" Raoul looked nervous,
"Everything?" he whispered.
"Yes" said Madame Giry sadly, "I'm afraid so. Anyway they write their own stories about us, many of them even attempt to put themselves into these stories. That is where the Mary Sue comes from." Everyone shuddered at the dark words. "She is often perfect in every way, puts down all other female characters to make her seem better or prettier etc... she has many special talents, all men fall in love with her, she usually loves Erik here-" At this point Raoul interrupted again.
"So do any of these Sue things come after me? Surly a handsome Vicomte like me…" he looked up hopefully.
"Actually Monsieur" she shook her head, "I have seen only a few where you are the object of their affections." Raoul looked sullen. Erik looked triumphant.
"Ha!" he exclaimed "Women obviously find me more attractive than you!" needless to say this did not go over well with Raoul.
"No they don't you just have the crazy obsessed girls who write disgusting stories about you!"
"Aww, is the Vicomte feeling unloved?"
"No. I have Christine, who obviously loves me more than you!" That was a low blow. The Phantom instantly crumpled and walked away to sulk. Madame Giry shook her head disapprovingly.
"Let's get on with the story shall we?" she asked with a grimace. Obviously she was feeling the same overwhelming sense of dread as the others. With an overly dramatic sigh Raoul picked up the manuscript and began.
She wuz teh prettiest and sexiest girl in teh world! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Pretty! Sexi! Twenty pages later Erik was banging his head against the wall and Christine had developed a nervous twitch. But Raoul didn't stop. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!11111!!1!111111111!1!!11 Her eiez was the purtiest in teh hole wild world. They wuz ruby amethst bluish greeeeen wiht teh looooongesttttt jet blak lashes-Christine cut in,
"Is it possible to have eyes that are four colors at once?" Raoul ignored her and kept reading.
Her boooody waz prefect two. She waass sikinnyer then every1 butt not lyk anoxeric of somthin groooos lyk dat. Heer chesttt waz well indowed and her- Here Raoul broke off as he scanned the next few pages,
"Um…now it starts describing that I feel uncomfortable talking about," Erik snorted. Raoul Simply glared at him and continued. "And then it goes back to talking about her hair and eyes for another twenty pages. Can I skip it? I really would rather my fiancée not explode in the next five minutes." They all turned to Christine who was gripping the arms of her chair rather hard and muttering about perfection being impossible to achieve and contradicting statements. Realizing she had an audience she looked up smiling sweetly and said,
"Yes, please do skip it" before returning to talking to herself. Fearing for his love's mental health Raoul paused then skipped the next few pages and moved on.
1 dai as she waz walkin home frim schoolll seh startin two cri. she wuz so smad becuze everyoneee was mean to her.
" I wonder why?"
Her teacherz wer just jel bcause she wuz smarterer then tem.
"Judging by her writing I'm going to have to disagree."
And all off teh other ppl were jeal. Her bff Melody was her onli source off comfrt. When she gotted home she waz cryin bcause hr sisterr was teh favoritte. nd her perents didn;t pai attention 2 her. I wish I culd go twooo teh opera. ppl there wuld luv me. nd I culd sing nd meet Erik nd we wuld live happ;y ever aftr. suddenly a big wind pickded Harmony up into teh air! And it carrie dher to rtheh front of theh mostest beyootifu building she had ever seene.
well that/s teh enddd fo teh firstest chappie! Revwie and tell me waht u tink! No flames tho. I hate flames! l8r. giggle. Raoul sighed
"Finally it's over." Everyone looked at each other as though trying to decide who should be made to read it next. suddenly they heard footsteps coming closer and closer. A door opened... they saw a flash of blonde hair...and they all screamed.