Heyy... just a quick heads up, if you get offended from reading this, just think nothing of it, it's just a joke. I just like making Giotto out to be a total dick. I don't know why.

If I ever write another installment to this, it will probably be because I have nothing to do, I had an epiphany, I feel like shit, I just feel like, or some other (messed up) reason. Yeah. I'm spamming my tumblr with puzzleshipping/blindshipping stuff.

Any grammar or such errors are either made purposely for character effect or I'm just really lazy. Pick whichever option you like.

I'm going to New York this weekened, so no updates then (though I doubt I would have updated anyways). I have things written.. just nothing important. If you're waiting for Fork in the Road, it's halfway done and I just got tired and bored of writing smut (I know it's hard to believe) and wanted to write other things. Tuna Cafe... I'm stuck on plot bunnies, so that's currently pending... I'm making a crack comic series with my friend... yep... the usual.

Anyways, read this is you're bored with life. kthxbai.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kateiykoushi Hitman Reborn, and preferably, I like to smack my head against a wall and think I do. Good day to you.

Whoopedy fucking do.

Oh. Hey. I see you're reading this piece of shit that has been written for god knows. You seem happy to be reading your death. Ok. So you're reading still. Wonder why? I bet it's because you're so bored with your life, or that you're so intrigued by the way I don't give a shit about you! If you don't like the way I said that, fuck you. You like my grammar? I don't need to be fucking perfect just so you can go and criticize the way I write. U mad bro? Yeah, I spell like that. Buzz off.

Well, if you're not entirely put off from reading this, I guess we can be friends? You know what, on second thought, no. Just no. You be the creepy stalker person across the street that I can file a lawsuit on or restraining order or something. Yeah. I like the sound of that better. Right.

Guess what? You're lucky. I'm in a good mood, let's get to the boring introductions where I blow your mind with how freaking sexy and fine I look. Don't believe me? GTFO.

My name's Giotto. That's all you need to know about that. For now at least. I'm a badass tenth grader in my school that no one messes with because I can shove a freaking pair of scissors up places that you'd rather keep clean. I have a little brother; you don't need to know anything about him because he's a total pussy. I'm freaking serious. I don't even know how we're related. Screw being the good older brother role model, we don't even see eye to eye. He's a fucking midget. Got angry at that? Fuck you.

Ok. I'm blonde. Yep. Interesting, I know. My hair is all over the freaking place, I broke my comb last time I tried to tame. I think it got tired of me trying to make my hair flat and went 'fuck it' and died on me. Yeah. My eyes are, as my mom says, honey orange, and I got a mean glare, though I wish my eyes were less attractive. As hot as I may be (if you think I have a big ego or am a narcissist, fuck you with something hard), I'd rather not have eyes that make my aunts coo at me for three hours straight. Apparently to some girl that confessed to me a few years back, my eyes made her feel warm and cozy. I slapped her and left. You know what. Just google me. I bet there's a ton of pages out there.

I have a few friends that I seriously hang with. Anyone else is either to kill time or I'm just lazy to mention them… or just stalk me. I'm serious. Let's start with my good old best friend G. Don't ask for his real name or he will beat you down. I'm not kidding, last time this kid called it stupid and taunted him for his real name and well… I never saw him after what G did to his sorry ass. If you think he fucked him, you are sick and get out of my face you sick fuck. I'd flip you off, but you can't see that can you… just imagine it…

If you really did, you have no life.

Ok, so G has red hair (honestly, I say it's pink) and red eyes. He has this kick ass flame tattoo on the side of his face. I got that for him on his birthday a few years back, he wanted a tattoo. I had extra money. Why not?

Then there's Cozart. My nickname for him is Brozart because he's one of my bros. Not blood-related obviously. That'd be sick though. He has a wimpy younger brother (smarter than mine though) that gets beat up by bullies all the time. Cozart has a tendency to wear a cap that Enma bought him when he was ten. The guy's a freaking softy for his brother; mine too, though I could hardly give two shits.

There's Daemon Spade. He's a total prick and douche and I love him for it. Obviously like a bro, not a fucking love interest you sick fuck. If I were to fuck anyone, it'd probably be Alaude. I'm take that ass any day. No way in hell am I getting the raw end.

Think I'm not serious enough for your licking? Suck my dick. On second thought, no, you would just do a bad job on it.

Hmm. I guess you're wondering why I'm sitting on a hospital bed a the moment. Oh? What's that? You didn't know? Well now you do ass munch. Awe, am I making you feel bad now? Get out. No seriously, the door's right there. Just get out.

I looked at the door to see my poor excuse of a brother, Tsuna, open the door. Great.

"If you're not here to suck my freaking dick or bow down to your epic older brother, I suggest you get the fuck out," I growled.

He jumped and shook his head. "Gio-nii, Mom told me to come pick you up so you don't do anything stupid on the way home."

Just my fucking luck.

"Right. So I'm guessing you're not here to kiss my feet," I muttered. I glared down at the cast on my left arm. Damn Spade. Never again am I going out drinking with him.

"Nii-san…," Tsuna grumbled unhappily. I sneered at him. My bro's a whiny little pansy. I'm a dick. Great. We can be the dick and vagina show.

"Okay. So. What else is there to do," I muttered.

"I don't know, go home?" Tsuna said sarcastically. I smirked. Looked like I was starting to rub off on him.

I happily got off the bed. I'm glad that they didn't make me wear those freaking gowns. They're just fucked up. Tsuna frowned at me as we walked out of the hospital. "SWEET SALVATION."

Tsuna rolled his eye. "Come on Gio-nii, we have to get home before Kaa-san spazzes like last time."

Yeah. This has happened at least five times now. Don't ask how. I just get drunk a lot. I looked at my brother. I'd rather not tell him that I fucked his crush while she was drunk at the party. He'd either suicide or kill me. Probably the former. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

God damn the sun. It's killing me. My brother glanced at me and sighed. He shoved a freezing water bottle he somehow had on him in my stomach. Where the hell did he keep that! "Thanks."

"Yeah…"

And we walked home.

Screw happy endings.