Cascore's Note: Hey there everybody! Cascore here. While I was walking off to class this afternoon, I got the sudden urge to create a poem about Bowser explaining why he's such a big ol' meanie. So, here it is. I couldn't bring myself to make the poem incredibly emotional by simply writing about Bowser's thoughts though, so I decided to make him have a small conversation with a regular Koopa. I think it turned out alright. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the poem.

Behind the Madness

Bowser rested on his stone cold throne appearing to feel bummed out.
For his next plan was sure to fail. There wasn't even a shadow of a doubt.
He thought and he pondered all throughout the long and stormy night,
Wondering when, if, or how he just might escape this cycle of the endless plight.
He grumbled and he groaned as the large double doors into the room opened wide
And a regular Koopa foot soldier stepped through, just in time to hear his Lord let out a sigh.
The Koopa stepped forward, catching Bowser's attention right off the bat.
He glared down at the nameless unit, threatening to fry him from where he sat.

"King Bowser, I have to ask," the Koopa began. "Why is it that you do what you do?"
"What concern is it of yours?" Bowser retorted. "I don't have to explain myself to you."
"Is it because you love Princess Toadstool?" the Koopa guessed. "I'm willing to bet that's it."
"That's a lie, nowhere near the truth," Bowser responded. "Not even a little bit."
"Then you hate Toads?" "No." "Their kingdom?" "No." "Then why?"
"Look," Bowser said as he stood. "Shut your mouth right now or I'll gouge out your eyes."
"But we've tried for so many years," the Koopa persisted, though he knew he should be quiet.
"And we've failed every single time," he continued. "What's the point? Why even try it?"

"Alright, I'll tell you," Bowser said. "But only because I need to get this off my chest."
The Koopa waited excitedly as Bowser sat back down into his throne to continue to rest.
"The reason is a man," Bowser began. "His first name is Shigeru, his last is Miyamoto.
"You wouldn't think he was the dictatorial type." Koopa raised an eyebrow. "Here, that's his photo."
The Koopa stepped forward and accepted the snapshot from Bowser's outstretched hand.
He looked down at the picture and was shocked. Shigeru Miyamoto looked like a very kind man.
"Really?" the Koopa asked. "Are you sure? This can't be the guy you're talking about.
"He looks as good-natured...as kind-hearted...as benevolent as all get out."

Bowser grumbled and snatched the picture back. "I said you wouldn't guess that he was very bad.
"But...well...to tell you the truth," Bowser continued awkwardly. "This man is actually my dad."
The Koopa's eyes grew wide as he was taken aback. "No way, that can't be true."
"It is," Bowser ensured. "He really is my father...and actually, he's yours too."
"What!? But how is that possible!? He's a human... And that would make us...related."
"I know, it's really hard to believe," Bowser said. "And the issue was constantly debated.
"But in the end," he continued as he scratched the back of his head, "We couldn't deny it anymore.
"Shigeru Miyamoto, he's our father, the mastermind..." Bowser trailed off. "Our creator."

"What are you saying?" the Koopa asked, fear in his eyes. "You mean he made our entire planet?"
"He made the earth, the sky, me, you, Mario, Peach, and absolutely everything and everyone in it.
"And he's the guy that makes me do what I do," Bowser mentioned with a frown on his face.
"He makes me kidnap Peach only to get beaten by Mario. All a part of this stupid rat race."
"Is that the only reason we live?" the Koopa asked. "Just to get beaten up and fail?"
"Sadly, that's the truth," Bowser sighed. "Not to mention you and I never even get fan mail.
"While Mario is drowned with hundreds of letters a day, we're stuck with rejection.
"Even his stupid little green brother Luigi is starting to get all kinds of affection."

"Man, this sucks," the Koopa muttered. "So what do you think we should do about it?"
"Nothing, there's no way to change things," Bowser answered. "Unless we get Miyamoto to quit."
"Come on, let's do it!" the Koopa spoke up excitedly. "We'll write an angry letter!"
"We can't though," Bowser said. "If we do that, it definitely won't make things any better."
"Why not? We can send him a message to let him know what's wrong, we could make a long list."
"If Miyamoto quits though," Bowser began with a sigh. "Then you, me, everything...we won't exist.
"So if we want to stay alive," Bowser said, "We'll just have to oblige. You do your thing, I do mine."
The Koopa, with a saddened look on his face, looked at the ground and kicked the air. "Alright. Fine."

The Koopa turned to leave, giving out a sigh as he exited and Bowser tucked away the snapshot.
He waited and waited until Kamek burst through the door, escorting Peach. She had been caught.
"Your Lordliness, we have her in our grasp," Kamek announced. "What shall we do?"
"You're an evil one King Koopa!" Peach shouted. "Why don't you see I'll never love you!"
"Take her to her room," Bowser ordered, ignoring Peach's desperate cry.
"Get ready to leave," he continued. "This castle's gonna fly!"
Kamek withdrew and the door closed quickly. The entire castle shook, Bowser's plan was to begin.
He rested his head on a closed fist and sighed. Here we go! It was time to lose yet again.