A/N: This is definitely the weirdest story I've ever written, but all you Jack/Ianto lovers might like this. Oh, and a note to two good friends of mine who might be reading this: Feel free to avoid me tomorrow. XD XD Enjoy!

"Where is he?"

"I don't know, he's never late..."

"Maybe he got eaten be a Weevil."

"Shut up, Owen..."

"It could've happened!"

The Torchwood team was buzzing with worry. Their leader, Captain Jack Harkness, was over an hour late and no one had any idea where he was.

With working at Torchwood, assuming the worst was how everyone stayed alive. Anything could happen when dealing with aliens from different worlds.

Just last week, they had come back from fighting off a single Cyberman, who had somehow made its way to earth. They didn't realize that the Cyberman had implanted a mind-controlling headpiece into Gwen's ear, until it was almost too late. She had been acting weirdly for the past hour, and no one knew why. They were able to extract it safely, but just in the nick of time.

The thing was, Jack was never late. He was always yelling at them for even being ten minutes tardy.

Gwen groaned. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to know what Jack had gotten himself into this time. "Ianto, have you seen him?"

Ianto had been practically silent the entire morning, not speaking much to anyone. He just sat at his desk, staring off into space, or working on some papers.

He looked up, biting his lip. "No idea. I haven't seen him."

Tosh grimaced. "We're all aware that something serious could've happened to him. I mean, if he was sick, or running late, wouldn't he have called in?"

The team nodded.

"I do remember though," Owen recalled, thinking back to the night before, "He seemed a bit pale and tired, I don't know if he was sick or what. But like you said, he would've called in if he was too sick to work. You sure he didn't mention anything Ianto?"

Ianto shook his head.

Tosh stood up. "We need to look for him. Gwen, check at his house. Ianto, check by and in the bar. I don't trust that man with even a single glass of wine by himself. Owen, you-"

She was interrupted by a loud noise coming from downstairs, like someone singing...singing loudly. Loud enough to be heard from below the staircase.

"Who the hell is that?" Owen demanded. "Is that-"

Suddenly, Jack burst into the room, singing at the top of his lungs, clearly overjoyed. He was wearing his usual suspenders with a white top, with a pair of tan dress pants.

"I wish today was just like every other day! 'Cause today has been the best day, everything I've ever dreamed! "*

Ianto stared at him."Jack...don't tell me..."

Jack grinned. "How's my favorite people?"

Everyone except Ianto glared at him.

"I know, I know, you're mad 'cause I came in late...but I, or rather, Ianto and I, have a huge announcement. I just found out this morning!"

Ianto half grimaced, half smiled. "Looks like it's true, huh?"

Tosh frowned. Big things that involved Jack and Ianto usually left everyone wishing they hadn't come into work that day. That, or being mentally scarred for the rest of the week.

"Jack, Ianto, what's going on...?"

Putting on a proud smile, Jack threw his arms up in the air and shouted: "I'm pregnant!"

Ianto grinned broadly, as the rest of the team stared.

"You're...pregnant..." Gwen stated slowly, her eyes narrowing.

"Yep."

"And how is that biologically possible...?"

Ianto stood up from his chair. "Well, when a guy-"

"Ah, never mind, I don't wanna know!" Gwen said quickly, grimacing.

Jack laughed. "You probably don't."

Tosh narrowed her eyes. "So...you're pregnant..."

"Yes I am."

"And a living child...is going to be growing inside of you..."

"Yes, a living child."

She grimaced. "Is that even...safe? I mean, you're..."

Jack nodded. "Yep. Perfectly safe."

"And you know this how...?"

Jack laughed. "Do you really want to know that?"

Tosh seemed to go a bit pale. "Uh..."

"We're thinking about calling the baby Rose if it's a girl, and Janto if it's a boy." Ianto piped up, grinning.

The rest of the team was silent, mainly from confusion and slight disturbance. They fought all kinds of weird aliens, but nothing was quite as strange as what they were experiencing now. And yet, as weird as this was, it wasn't entirely shocking. Jack always had weird, unnatural things happening to him.

"You know, Jack," Gwen sighed, shaking her head. "The creepy thing about this whole thing is that I'm not entirely surprised."

Ianto and Jack just laughed.

"Well! Now that this awkward conversation is over, who's up for some tea?" Jack asked happily, clapping his hands together.

The team nodded, a bit dazed.

"Ianto, when are cravings supposed to start again?"

Ianto frowned. "I think sometime around the early stages of pregnancy, if I remember correctly with my sister...She was always asking for the weirdest things."

"Oh, okay. That's good then. Haven't started any yet, thankfully. Anyone have any fish fingers and custard? I'm starving."

The team groaned. This was going to be a long nine months.

Thanks for reading! *This is the song 'Song for Ten' written by Murray Gold, used in the Doctor Who soundtrack.