NOTE: This is actually my first submission to the site! Since Naoto Shirogane is my favorite Persona 4 character, I decided to write from her perspective the events of her Christmas Eve date with Yu Narukami. Most of the dialog is lifted from Persona 4 Golden, with some added from myself. I do not claim to own Persona 4 Golden or the characters featured, and I do not intend to profit off this story in any way. I simply hope you enjoy reading what I've put together.
SEE U TOMORROW Y/N? PLZ REPLAY ASAP
I mustered up the courage to ask Senpai if he would like to spend time with me tomorrow. After all, it is an important holiday: Christmas Eve. I wondered if there was a better message I could have sent to him, but regardless I got a reply.
Ha, 'Y'. Let's meet up at my place, I'll cook something for us.
I read and reread the message numerous times. He said 'Yes'. Immediately, my throat felt clogged. I was shaking a bit. Despite his answer being what I wanted him to say, being alone with Senpai is quite frightening. Not that Senpai is scary, but the idea of spending a holiday with someone special to me is something I've never done before. Holidays never felt special to me. I enjoyed festivities, but always thought they got in the way of work. Grandfather and Yakushiji were there with me, but outside of family I had no one. It seems like all of that has changed.
The school day felt as if it was interminable. I was distracted from classes for the duration, my mind solely focused on Yu... Was I going to be able to go through with this? I asked him if he wanted to be with me, and now I was being too much of a coward. I gulped in the hallway, realizing that I needed to see this through. It would be unfair to Yu to back out.
School had ended, so I was gathering my belongings at my lockers.
"Hey, Naoto."
I let out a high-pitched yelp. A very embarassing sound to be sure. The voice startled me due to the suddenness, but mostly because I recognized the voice. I quickly slammed my locker closed and spun in place.
"Oh! S-Senpai..." I said, as Yu looked at me with a smile on his face. I believe he could see that I was a bit tense, as he leaned away and tried to make the conversation more casual.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked. I blinked silently. For some reason, my brain didn't register what he was asking me immediately. It came to me after a few seconds.
"Y-yes. Shall we?" I said, gesturing towards the front door. I tried sounding more confident, but knowing Yu, he probably saw through it. He had already had his belongings ready, so we walked out together. We kept a slight distance from each other as we left the school grounds. I'm glad Senpai respected my request. After I confessed my feelings for him, he noticed how I was unexperienced in relationship dealings. As such, I didn't think I was ready for 'us' to become public. There was still more pressing matters to focus on as of now, but in spite of Yu and I being happy I would be very embarassed. I don't know if I would want to deal with Yosuke and Teddie's teasings right now, or especially Rise's mean looks...
Once we got far enough away, we stepped a bit closer together. The whole way, we made small talk. The conversation ranged from school, the case, and the others. I'm not sure if he intended it to, but by doing this my tension was increasingly dissipated. It didn't last.
I gasped and inhaled sharply. Yu turned to face me, wondering what was wrong. We were halfway to Dojima's residence when I remembered I left something behind. Today was the perfect time for it, so I needed to retrieve it. I started stepping back, towards the Shirogane Estate. Senpai looked confused.
"I-I'm sorry. I'll meet you at your home. I need to take care of something first," I said, backing away the whole time.
"Uh, okay?" Yu replied, sounding unsure. "I'll see you there."
I dashed home the second Senpai was out of sight. I couldn't keep him waiting for long, but what I was going home for was very important. I threw open the door to the estate and rushed into my quarters.
"Naoto-sama?" A voice said behind me. I recognized it, but didn't turn. I was too busy cramming something into my satchel. "Is something the matter?"
"Everything's fine, Yakushiji-san," I said, too focused to face him. "I nearly forgot something so I must get it."
"Is it what you discussed with me prior?" Yakushiji asked. I stopped and stood upright. My eyes drifted to my satchel and still not at the secretary. Silently, I nodded. "I see. Well, remember that both I and Shirogane-san support your decision."
"Thank you, Yakushiji," I said sincerely. I am glad to know both wish the best for me. I should remember more often that my grandfather and Yakushiji always have my best intentions at heart. Regardless, I do not have the time to stay much longer. "I must go, I have an appointment."
"Very well," Yakushiji stated. "Have a good night, Naoto-sama." I nodded with a small smile on my face, then headed for the door. I began the walk to Senpai's home. Along the way, I looked at my cell phone to check the time. I'm running later than I would have liked, but hopefully Senpai would understand.
I reached the front door of Dojima-san's house soon. My hand raised in order to knock, but drifted back to my side slowly. Once again, I was tense. I stared at my feet for a while. How was this going to happen? I shook myself out of this attitude, as Senpai had already committed to spending the day with me. He probably had to turn down several others. Suddenly, guilt washed over me. Yu made many friends in the short time he's stayed in Inaba, so he could have picked any to enjoy the holiday with. I'm sure every other member of our Investigation Team asked Senpai to hang out with him.
Yosuke probably will be around Teddie for the holiday, despite being Senpai's best friend. Chie is much more fun and lively than I am; why wouldn't he choose her instead? Yukiko has the staff of the Amagi Inn, which treat her like family, though I'm sure she would like something different. I'm not certain what Kanji will be doing for the holidays, but I know he looks up to Senpai. Rise is always tossing herself onto Senpai, so she must have been hoping to have a fun holiday with Yu. Suddenly, my imagination started filling my mind of Senpai having a great time with everyone but myself. I'm so plain, so boring, I cannot fathom why I am at his door now.
I closed my eyes hard. I couldn't delay any longer. Either I was going to leave, or go through with things. I had wasted even more time thinking too much about all of this. Maybe I should just go with what my hea-
"Oh, hello, Naoto!"
My eyes darted up to see Senpai standing in the doorway. My face started to feel warmer as I'm sure my cheeks became a bright red. I wasn't ready for this. I was so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't heard the door slide open. I wonder now how long he had been standing there.
"H-hello," was all I could manage to say to him. He made a gesture for me to enter, so I did. I stepped into the entryway and removed my shoes. I had been to Senpai's home before, but Nanako and Dojima-san were there. This time, nobody was. Senpai was talking, but I wasn't focusing enough to make sense of the words. I nodded occassionally and followed him in, clutching tightly to my satchel.
Before I knew it, I was inside his room again. It looked similar to my last visit, however he had added more models to his shelf. Did he make those? While I was busy glancing at them, Yu came inside carrying a cake and some dishes. He set it down on the table near his sofa and took a seat. Again, he made a gesture, and I kneeled on the opposite end of the table. Focus, Naoto. You need to listen and actually make spending the holiday with you worth his time.
Senpai was quietly smiling towards me. I broke eye contact and glanced about his room. It was warm, but I was not. Standing on his doorstep in the middle of winter was not a wise decision, so I continued shivering from my prolonged time spent there. Eventually, I tried to break the silence by saying something.
"U-Um... It's pretty cold outside!" I said. Immediately, I began to blush and looked away. What an interesting topic, Naoto. I wonder if Senpai realized that in December it is usually cold? Again, I was chastising myself. Perhaps, I should just be honest with him.
"Ah, well, uhh..." Not a great start. My voice wavered in pitch. "I-I'm sorry... I guess I'm nervous... because, um, we're the only ones here..."
Yu looked a bit surprised. Perhaps it was disappointment? Either way, he must have noted my embarassment.
"It's alright," Senpai started, his eyes closed with a small grin on his face. "To be honest, I'm nervous as well."
Senpai, nervous? I couldn't believe it. What has he got to be nervous about? He's usually so open and understanding, able to express himself very eloquently. But spending an evening with me makes him nervous? I couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing, so I decided to try and change topics. My eyes finally fell onto the cake he had set on the table earlier. It was simple in design - a small round cake with white frosting and strawberries on top - but elegant in presentation. I was impressed.
"That's a..." I started, before pointing at his prepared dessert, "Wonderful cake. It makes me feel like a kid again." It was true. Thinking back to several moments of my childhood, I could remember my grandfather ordering cakes like this for birthdays. Also, the simplicity of it all reminded me of the supposed "carefree" nature of youth. Although mine was not, the nostalgic feeling harkins to a simpler time.
"Thanks," Yu replied. "I had a little help." Yu rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly a bit uneasy himself. When I looked at him with confusion, he quickly added, "Not from Chie, or Yukiko, or Rise though!"
We laughed. Knowing the history of their cooking, I was glad to know that. Still, Senpai had baked a cake for us to enjoy, so I would have been gracious even if it tasted rancid. We each took a slice and began to eat. Thankfully, the cake wasn't rancid, instead it was rather tasty. Yu seemed relieved that it was good. We talked about many things for a while, before I became silent. My eyes drifted towards my satchel, which I brought with me. Should I give this to him? It is Christmas Eve...
"Um, I have something for you."
Yu's eyebrows raised. It seems he wasn't expecting a gift.
"I was late because I had to go back home to get it before I came here," I said, referring to when I returned home briefly earlier. Yu, nodded, understanding why I departed quickly on our walk home. I stood up and walked to the bag. Inside was a box I had prepared for Senpai. It was simple and thin, a basic knot keeping everything in place. I turned to face Senpai, who had stood up as well and handed him the gift. He looked appreciative and opened the top. His eyes looked back up to me then back at the gift. I wasn't sure if he was impressed or confused. Inside the box was a watch I put together.
"I customized this watch. It has the normal functions of a digital watch, but..." I trailed off. I took a deep breath before finishing. "It can also tell you where I am..." I said, my voice getting higher and quieter at the same time. Senpai was listening while also placing the watch onto his wrist. Thankfully, it fit just fine. He seemed to like it. However, I frowned.
"...It's just a toy, though, so it only has a radius of a few meters," I added. I suppose being honest was for the best, but it seems like a bad thing to talk poorly of your own gift. I lifted my left arm and pulled up my uniform sleeve to reveal an identical watch. Mine was a dark shade of blue, much like my hair or cap. Before I could think of what I was saying, I continued.
"And... J-Just so you know, my watch has a similar function..." I began. Was I really going to admit this to him? What if he takes things the wrong way? I blushed again and looked down towards my feet. "My watch can tell me..." I said, my heart rising into my throat, "where you are."
I wasn't looking at Senpai, so I'm unsure what he thought of that. I figured he would believe that I was stalking him. That wasn't my intention, but it did seem a tad strange. Maybe a watch wasn't the correct gift, maybe I misjudged his sense of fashion?
"I'm happy to know that. Thank you, Naoto!"
My eyes opened wide, while my face changed into that look of surprise Senpai pointed out to me previously. My eyebrows shot up, my mouth became small, and my nose twitched. My cheeks, which I'm sure were bright red, most likely got more apparent.
"Really?" I asked, surprised in my voice. I looked over at him sheepishly, my eyes barely seeing past the brim of my cap. Senpai smiled and nodded. As always, his answer seemed genuine. A smile began to form on my face. "...I'm glad." I began to think of something else, however, and soon the smile turned into a look of sadness.
"Although..." I began, "from spring on, my watch will just say 'out of range'..." Senpai visibly winced at this. What was I doing? I turned an ejoyable holiday into a reminder that soon he would need to leave all of his friends he had made in Inaba. I couldn't help but feel regretful at those words. Though I tried to change things into a more positive spin.
"Until then... I want to be with you as much as possible."
Yu smiled. I can't believe I managed to say that to him. A few moments ago I was too nervous to even knock on his front door, but now I'm telling him how I feel inside.
"Me too," Yu replied, looking at me with his sharp eyes. His smile grew, and I couldn't help but form one myself. I'm glad he wants to make the most of his remaining time in Inaba, and he wishes to spend much of it with me. I never should have doubted him, he's always very understanding. I suppose I never truly doubted him, though, moreso I doubted myself being worthy of him. This clearly doesn't cross his mind. The two of us shared a wonderful Christmas Eve together.
"U-Uh..." I mumbled. My eyes shifted towards my bag again. "I have something to show you..."
With how the evening had progressed thus far, my confidence raised high enough to go through with my initial plan. I hadn't shown anybody this before, but Yu is special to me. I feel like I'm ready.
"What is it?" Yu asked, curiously.
"I..." You can do this Naoto. "Umm... I..." My voice is getting higher. It reminds me when I asked him about my voice on my original visit to Senpai's home. His response kickstarted this idea of mine. I was clearly fidgeting uncomfortably. My hands, resting on the table, were cold, and shaking slightly. I had planned out what I was going to say, but I didn't need to face Yu when I practiced.
My cold, shaking hand quickly became warm and steady. I looked over at my left hand and saw Senpai's hand resting on top. He reached with his right hand, the same arm he is currently wearing his watch on. He placed his hand onto mine, not so much in a romantic sense, but more in a reassuring way. He wanted to know what I wanted to show him, and obviously saw my discomfort. His eyes seemed to tell me that it will be alright. They reminded me why I trust him so easily. I took another deep breath and swallowed.
"I want you to see me in a school uniform..."
Yu looked confused, for multiple reasons. First, my voice was higher than my usual tone. Also, he looked at my clothes. I was wearing a school uniform, but for a male. I tried to explain it to him.
"You said you liked it when I spoke with a higher voice..." I started, recalling my visit from a while ago. "So I figured I should look more like a girl..." Yu's eyebrows raised. He must have been very surprised by my sudden choice. It was clear that despite most Inaba citizens knowing my true gender, I was more comfortable in men's clothes. Old habits die hard, I suppose. This was important though. I thought back at school, and let out a little laugh.
"B-Besides, my normal clothes go against the school dress code..." I added, noting that females are not to wear male uniforms and vice versa. Yu replied with a laugh of his own, trying to keep our conversation casual and calm.
"Alright, I'd like to see that," Yu said. He didn't sound especially excited, but more curious. I wasn't sure why that was then.
"Let me go change..." I said, grabbing my bag and leaving his room. I entered the bathroom in the hall to remove my uniform and wear the female one. It took only a few moments, but it felt like I was in there forever. I couldn't believe I was actually about to show someone this. I looked at myself in the mirror after changing. What I saw was quite shocking, even to myself. I had gotten quite used to my usual attire, that even I was thrown off. I debated on whether or not to wear my cap, before setting in the bag with the rest of my clothes. I usually wear it to hide some of my messy hair, but I decided against it.
I entered Senpai's room slowly. I was very tense. I took a somewhat pathetic stance, looking both weak and feeble, as well as very feminine. My knees were pointed inward at each other, and so were my feet. It was a sheepish stance for sure. My hands were clasped and held close to my chest. My cheeks blushed brighter than before.
"Yakushiji-san prepared it for me..." I said. I suppose I'm grateful Yakushiji held onto this uniform now, rather than dispose of it as I had asked. He was very supportive in my idea to show this to Yu, which I appreciate now. Perhaps his encouragement is partly the reason I'm even standing here wearing this now.
I looked down at my clothing and felt rather embarassed. I can't believe this is really the females uniform.
"I know this is what all the girls wear, but, um..." I said, looking downward, "Isn't the skirt too short...?"
Yu tried to stifle a laugh, but I heard it. He was clearly amused by all of this. I wasn't offended by his laugh. If anything, it helped lighten my mood somewhat.
"You look cute, Naoto," Yu said. For some reason, I began to panic slightly. I looked away from him again.
"P-Please stop!" I blurted. "Don't embarass me..." I added, my voice showing signs of happiness, despite what I was actually saying. It's good to know he thinks that way, though. "I-I think I'll stick with my normal outfit..." I said, turning back to look at Yu. "I'd feel awkward all day if I wore it to school."
Yu nodded, seemingly in agreement. "Whatever makes you feel like yourself," He said aloud. I couldn't help but smile. Senpai is a very special person. We met on shaky terms, but have grown into being very close with one another. I haven't shown anyone else this uniform, and frankly I don't plan on it, but he understood my struggle. He knows that I don't feel comfortable in this, at least not yet, and accepts that I will wear my male clothing still. More than that, he is content with being with me in spite of that. Do I really mean that much to him? Perhaps my feelings towards him are mutually strong for me? Either way, I'm glad he agreed to keep this between us. I feel a little guilty for asking him to keep another secret, as he still has yet to tell anyone about us.
"...But I'm happy that I showed it to you."
Yu smiled, understanding everything I was saying and more. He looked down at the watch and saw the time. He winced again. I suspect that it must have been late. He looked back up at me.
"Why don't you stay here for tonight?" He asked.
"...Huh?" Was all I could vocalize. Was he really asking me this? He wants me to spend the night with him? As a detective, I attempt to always have a reply or answer ready, so that I may better keep any conversation in my favor. However, Yu always was able to bypass that defense and truly talk to myself. He was always direct and straight-forward. "Y-You want me here tonight...?"
Yu nodded. "Teddie's helping Yosuke at Junes tonight, so he won't be back until late tomorrow. Nanako is still in the hospital recuperating. It will be pretty quiet in here. I was just wondering if you'd like to keep me company?"
I hadn't thought of that. Surely, Yu would return home everyday to Nanako's cheerful smile, a 'Welcome home, big bro!', and a greeting from Dojima-san as well. With both of them gone, Teddie had been keeping Senpai company for the time being. It would be cruel to leave him on Christmas Eve to be alone, but more than that I was excited at the possibility to spend the time with him.
"I-I can probably come up with some kind of alibi for where I spent the night..." I answered quickly, not giving myself the opportunity to over think things. Yu stood up and smiled at me. He walked over, causing me to blush and look down. Seeing him glad I said yes caused me to slip out a girlish giggle.
"Thanks, Naoto," Yu said, quietly. He placed his hand on my arm and another on my chin. Slowly, gently, he pulled my face upwards to meet his. I gazed into his eyes. They were big, bright, clear, and beautiful. My eyes began to slowly close as he slowly pulled me closer to him, leaning downward at the same time...
The watch reads: "Distance: 1 m"...