CHAPTER 1 Scribble, Scribble, "Harry was here"
"Fuck, No! I'm done with this!"
"But, Harry..." Ron said, barely opening his mouth before Ginny jumped on Harry sobbing.
"You can't just leave me!" Ginny said squealing and whining. She had slid down so she was sitting on Harry's foot and holding on to his leg for dear life as Harry tried to kick her off.
"I'm not leaving just you," Harry said sincerely, "I'm leaving the whole fucking wizarding world and it's about damn time! You're not coming with me either, you've just gotten too clingy. We're through Ginny."
"You can't just leave the whole bloody wizarding world behind! What about Moldy Voldy?" Ron pleaded.
"I don't care about voldemort anymore! We're only 7th years, the ministry can worry about him! I miss the days when my biggest problem was finding clothes that fit and running out of toilet paper!"
"What if i could create a spell," said Ginny hopefully, "yeah, it would make all of your clothes too big and it would use up all of the toilet paper before you get there so you wouldn't have to leave us!"
"No! You're not understanding me!" He said with a tone of exasperation, "I don't want any problems! That's why i'm leaving and nothing you do will stop me!"
"But Harry," started Ron. "what would Hermione say?"
"She'd probably say that i was being too hasty in between vomiting and having another drink! I'm leaving!" and with that he stormed out of the gryffindor common room, dragging his trunk behind him.
"Come on, Ginny, we have to do something!"
"Me! Do something! I'm through with Harry Frick'n Potter! Through!"
"You're not breaking up with me." Ron said flatly. Ginny pointed her face at the ceiling and screamed. She stomped off towards the Girls Dormitory and slammed the door.
Ron felt slightly depressed about being alone, but stopped as he thought about Harry's and Ginny's mood swings. He sighed. "I guess it's just that time of the month again."
.*.*.*.
"Stop following me!"
"But listen Harry! I figured it out! You don't have to keep it a secret from me any more! I figured out why your so moody all of the sudden! It's that time of month and you just can't help the emotions rolling through you."
Harry threw his hands up in the air. "I'm a guy! That doesn't happen to me!"
Ron raised his eyebrows, "Tell me Harry, do you really think you are a guy? 'Cuz there's no other way to explain this."
Harry whirled, turning to face Ron in the middle of Hogsmeade. "There are many ways to explain this!" He shoved his fingers in Ron's face. "One, Voldemort. Two, Dumbledore. Three, my parents!"
Ron looked at him incredulously, "Harry, your parents can't explain this, they're dead."
Harry screamed in frustration and turned around. Ron pointed at him, drawing the attention of the people around them . "See! It's just like with Ginny! You have to have a period!" Harry walked away, but the vein on the back of his neck throbbed. Ron jogged to catch up with Harry. "Sorry, Harry I won't bring it up again. I didn't think you would be so emotional..." Ron murmured.
"Shut. Up." Harry said through gritted teeth. "No matter what you say I'm going to Godric's Hollow."
"Your right, you have to leave now that you pissed off Ginny." He said matter of factly. "That's why I'm coming with you."
"Well at least with you around Voldemort won't show up to kill me." Harry grumbled.
.*.*.*.
"Mwahaha!" Then a loud snort and another High pitched laugh. "Mwahaha!" SNORT! "So then I was like, really, a town named Walla Walla. I turned to a lady and said 'since your town is named water, water I'm gonna drown you all'. Mwahaha!" Voldemort snorted again in laughter as the waitress tried to force her face into a smile, but only succeeded in having her lips twitch.
"What would you like, Sir.?"
"Your highness." Voldemort corrected. "You really ought to remember these things when your life is being threatened."
"Yes, Your Highness...What would you like Your Highness?"
"Well, is your town named Water, Water?" He then let out one of his odd snorts.
"N-no, Your Highness."
Voldemort continued laughing. "It was so much fun! The whole time I did it I thought of him too. Could imagine I was drowning him." Voldemort pounded his fist against the table. "That's what I would like! Can you serve him too me? That would make everything easier for me. So much less of a headache."
"We can't serve p-p-people, Your Highness..."
"Well that's unfortunate." Then very flippantly he said, "Avada Kedavra." He slowly got up and made his way towards the door. "My life would be so simple without that Ron Weasley...thing. I get a headache just thinking about that idiot."