A/N: Written in response to the GW whump thread challenge of the week: Rewrite a part of an episode to make it whumpier. Thanks to those who's brainstorming gave me the idea to write the contents of this story. This is the ending of Irresponsible, the way I think it should have been. Enjoy! (Please review)

Point Blank by GraceW

Lt Col John Sheppard snuck into town, only a few minutes behind Lucius, who was to gather his people. The annoying man had offered suggestions at a plan, but John doubted that swinging from a clock tower naked or anything of that sort was going to help his team. He hoped that Lucius did his part of the plan; he didn't want to think of what could happen if it failed. He would gladly give up his life for his team, but he'd rather it not come to that today.

Seeing that bastard Koyla with a gun trained on his people, his family, caused a rush of anger. He needed to end this now, before his team, or one of the townspeople got hurt.

"Koyla!" John yelled across the town square.

The Genii commander turned his head, his gun pointed at the helpless team struggling against their bonds. He mentally smiled. His nemesis, the thorn in his side, was walking right into his hands. This time there would be no bartering for supplies or traitors; this time he would kill Sheppard. "I should have killed you when we first met, Colonel. It would have saved me a lot of trouble."

"The feeling's mutual." Ignoring the number of henchmen that had their guns out and pointed at him, John stared right at Koyla, determined not to show weakness.

"Goodbye, Sheppard." The commander's dark eyes swam with hate as his words sentenced the Lantean to death. Half a dozen Genii guns fired at the lone colonel, their owners eager to please the leader.

A smug smile crossed John's face as the bullets bounced innocuously off of the green shield, which surprisingly, and conveniently, had worked for him. The barrier didn't stop Koyla's goons from trying; they emptied their clips trying to shoot through the Ancient device.

John's smile broadened "Well, now that you've got that out of your system…" With a little raise of his eyebrows and a cocky grin, he reached to unzip his vest, revealing the reason for his survival. Koyla didn't react in any noticeable fashion, simply stood there taking in the situation.

John only got to enjoy two seconds of victory before it was ripped away from him. The shield began spurting white and green electricity. It didn't hurt, but he could still feel the shield around his body dying. How did the law go: what can go wrong, will go wrong.

"Oh, crap!" He put his hand to his chest where the shield sputtered and died. John hastily glanced around, Lucius and his townspeople were nowhere to be seen. Go figure.

A ghost of a smirk appeared on Koyla's face, as the Ancient shield's green glow faded with a sputter.

Tension hung thick in the air as the Colonel and the Commander stared at each other. Then, without any word or warning, Koyla raised his pistol and fired.

The bullet ripped through the delicate clavicle bone and muscle tissues of John's upper right shoulder. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground. Intense pain radiated across his back and chest, and every cell in his body seemed to scream in protest. His vision blurred, the darkness threatening to drag him down. He felt wet blood dripping down his shoulder and onto his neck.

In the distance, he heard his team's protests and he focused on that. Ronon's deep yell, Rodney and Carson's yelp of surprise and a gasp from Teyla became his anchor to the land of the conscious.

Koyla's raspy voice called to his men "Take them to the gate."

"No, you son-of-a-bitch! You killed him! We aren't going anywhere…y-y-you…" Apparently a gun was pointed in Rodney's direction, because he stopped babbling.

It hurt to breathe, but John struggled to stay conscious. If he went under he knew he would never come out of it and dying wasn't something that was on his list of things to do today.

He heard footsteps near his head, and he struggled to open his eyes. Koyla's blurry face filled the blue sky in front of him.

"Hello Sheppard. Still with us, I see. I could have killed you right there. There is time for that soon enough." Koyla had reached down and taken John's gun from his thigh holster.

John struggled for the strength for an answer, before he finally got out "W-why?"

"You expected this to be quick? With what you did to me and my place among the leaders of the Genii, you deserve to have a slow painful death."

"My team..." John coughed causing more pain to travel through his chest.

"They will be transported to a secure faculty on another planet and I will barter them for supplies. I'm sure Dr. Weir won't have a problem handing over a few essentials for the sake of four lives. If not, I will have had the satisfaction of killing them too."

"I'm going…to…kill you."

"That's debatable, Sheppard." Koyla paused before pulling his gun out of his holster. Taking a bullet out of the gun, Koyla held it in front of John's face. "See this bullet, Colonel? Look at it. This is the bullet I'm going to kill you with."

The Genii Commander put the bullet back in the gun and clicked the safety on. "But not yet. We will let you bleed for a while. I think I'm going to enjoy this." With a smug look, Koyla motioned to his soldiers.

Suddenly two of the goons reached down and dragged John off of the ground and made him kneel next to a nearby fence post. They tied his hands securely behind his back and around the post. Just that motion sent another wave of pain through his body, and he let out a loud shout.

"Now we don't need any of that." Koyla reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a filthy white rag.

"You…have got to be…kidding me." John coughed out as Koyla came up behind him and tied the gag around his tightly around his mouth.

A kick to his injured shoulder made John scream into the gag, the sound muffled through the dirty fabric. Koyla laughed, deep and sinister, like a bad TV villain.

The Genii commander brought forth a small branch, similar in size to the sticks that Ronon and Teyla sparred with. However, this wasn't a friendly competitive spar session; this was plain and simple torture at the hands of a merciless enemy.

Koyla brought the stick down on John's knees, and then onto his chest, causing John let out an involuntary scream. Another strike to his injured shoulder brought a tidal wave of pain throughout his entire body. The sheer amount of hurt over whelmed him, and John let go and allowed the darkness take him down, mercifully allowing him to pass out.

When John woke up, he found himself lying on the ground. The gag still covered his mouth but his hands had been tied in front of his body. He looked up and blue sky filled his view, promising things that he felt he would not live to see again.

Lying on the ground dying, his team headed to a world where they might not come back from. He hadn't planned to have a day like this.

Gathering his strength, John tried to sit up. His right arm rebelled and his entire body ached but he was able to get himself into a semi-reclining position. Even this simple movement made his head spin and left him gasping for air, perhaps he had lost more blood than he thought.

Just as the world stopped whirling, a boot was put to his chest and he was pushed back to the ground. A muffled yell escaped his lips as his head hit the ground.

A large Genii soldier placed much of his weight on the colonel's sternum. John felt as if he was being crushed to death, and he was sure he felt a rib crack under the strain. He was gasping for air and his vision began going black when the soldier finally let up the pressure. Sweet air rushed into his lungs and his broken body relaxed again into the grass.

Minutes passed, but no more crushing abuse came from his guard. Every part of him hurt, but it let him know he was still alive. However, he wouldn't be for long, his shoulder was still bleeding, and now his chest ached even more. He needed to execute a plan before he became the one that was executed.

Taking just a second to gather his thoughts and strength, he prepared himself for the henchman's retaliation and sat up quickly. The man took a step toward the injured colonel, but John kick out and the big man tripped, falling hard. John begged his body to cooperate as he wrestled the bigger soldier for the pistol. His hands were still tied together, but he was able to bring an elbow down onto the Genii's nose, causing blood to gush and the man to lay limp.

By the time John had carefully stood up, Koyla had been alerted to the occurrence. Shots rang out, but the colonel managed to duck behind a building with the guard's gun.

John heard The Genii Commander shout out "You three go make sure the other prisoners are secure. You two with me, we are going after Sheppard."

Crap, John thought. His shoulder ached, and if he didn't stop the bleeding he was going to faint, no wait…pass out, again.

He limped over to the door of one of the houses. It was empty, so he headed for the kitchen area. Digging around he found a knife, and cut the ropes around his hands. Reaching up with his left hand he removed the gag and threw it on the ground. If he never saw one of those again, it would be too soon.

Sitting down in a chair, John made quick work of a table cloth, cutting it into strips to hold his useless right arm and hopefully stop the bleeding. He refrained from crying out when he wrapped his shoulder. Exposed nerve fibers in the bone and muscle tissue of his shoulder screamed in agony as he stabilized the bleeding and supported the broken bone. It was rudimentary compared to Beckett's standards, but it would have to do for now.

Once he had quelled the bleeding, he found some water. The sweet water hydrated his cells and energized his body, giving him a second wind. He had to end this, save his team and get rid of Koyla for good.

Heaving a sigh and gathering his strength John stood up and walked to the door. Making sure the coast was clear; he cautiously crept out in to the ally gun in his left hand, his right arm supported with the temporary sling. The pain had turned into a persistent throbbing, but it was manageable.

Koyla was out there, with two of his goons, trying to hunt him down. One against three, he could do it, maybe…

He pushed through the pain, and headed back to the center of town, hoping that there would be something that he would work with. Koyla wouldn't be too far away, the town wasn't that big.

Even as he jogged, his mind was actively coming up with scenarios and attack plans. The pain in his chest was getting worse, but he figured he could sleep for a week after this was all over.

Turning a corner, John spotted Koyla and his two henchmen about ten meters down the street. Falling back against the wall, he brought the pistol up, ready to take on the soldiers. A short pause was all he needed to prepare before he flung himself around the corner. Taking aim, John fired at the Genii commander. The bullet landed into Koyla's upper thigh, causing the tall man to fall with a shout.

The two guards immediately began firing, and a stray bullet winged his right leg. John made it back to the side ally, but he was bleeding again. He fell against a wall leaning on it for support, weariness overwhelming every part of him. He just couldn't go on, he was losing blood; he wasn't going to be able to finish this.

When Koyla's men came around the corner shooting, John fired his own weapon desperately. One of the Genii's bullets struck brick half a meter away from his head. Anger suddenly filled him and a strange surge of energy guided his movements. Fighting the dizziness that was overcoming him, he fired back at the soldiers. Hearing shouts and seeing them fall; he realized that he had wounded both men.

Fatigue washed over him like a wave, John looked down at his leg wound and saw the wet sticky blood as it flowed out of the torn flesh. He was unable to reach it with his good hand, so he couldn't stop the bleeding. There was nothing he could do to stop it. John Sheppard, hero of Atlantis, was going to bleed out in some back street on a random insignificant planet. Unable to concentrate on the familiar shouts in the distance, John slipped into the darkness that beckoned him. Welcoming death if it decided to take him.

"Shh, Rodney, you'll wake him. He has a long road of recovery ahead of him, just let him sleep."

"Well, isn't that the point, Teyla. He's been sleeping for days. It's about time for him to wake up. I mean, if it were me-"

"Urg, who can sleep with all this noise." John Sheppard groaned and blinked back the bright infirmary lights, finally opening his eyes to see Teyla, Rodney and Ronon in chairs by his bedside.

"Um…Carson!"

"Rodney, hush."

"Oh, sorry. I'll go get Carson."

"Don't go about shouting, I'm right here. How are ya feeling, lad?" Dr. Beckett walked up to John's bedside.

"Umm. I feel like I got hit by a truck." John brought a hand up to his head.

"Well, that's pretty close, son. It took a few rounds of surgery and a blood transfusion to get you back. We almost lost you twice. But you don't need the details now." Carson smiled at John's confused look.

"Wh-what happened?"

"Well-" Carson started, but Rodney interrupted.

"Before they took us through the gate, Lucius and his townspeople saved us, well sort of. I mean, we helped. It's not like we're entirely helpless."

"After that, we were able to come back into town and we heard the shots." Teyla added. "By the time we got there, the Genii soldiers were down and you were badly wounded. However, Dr. Beckett was able to stabilize your injuries and bring you back to Atlantis."

"Koyla?" John asked.

"John, I'm sorry. He wasn't there. We looked, even sent Major Lorne's team to search the planet. He must have escaped through the gate."

"We'll find him, Sheppard." Ronon said, always the man of action.

"We better." John suddenly felt tired again. "Mmm gonna sleep now."

"Sleep well, John. We will be here when you wake up." Teyla reached out and touched his hand, her voice was calming.

John fell back into a deep sleep, surrounded by his family, safe in the city he loved and protected.

FIN

Thanks so much for reading. Please review! :D

~Gracie :)