It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Witwicky!
Authors Note: Happy Halloween, everyone! This is a silly little one-shot that popped into my head when I was out pumpkin hunting the other day. Hope you like it!
Kudos to anyone who can guess where I got the name of the title from.
Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers. Simple as that. Enjoy!
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Sam's point-of-view.
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It must be a strange sight, I thought absently, to see a line of top-of-the-range vehicles driving along a small highway, all of them in a perfect line. I had witness more then enough people gape as our convoy went pass, envy written across their faces. One girl had looked ready to burst into tears at the sight of Sunstreaker's, one of the new Autobot arrivals, alt-mode.
Sunstreaker. I smiled. What a strange name. Mikaela and I had been nothing short of surprise when we learned that Sideswipe actually had a twin and Bumblebee had apologized a great deal for not telling us earlier. He had explained, as best he could without a voice, that they had not been sure whether Sunstreaker would be able to make it to Earth and that the 'bots had wanted to keep his existence at a low-profile just in case he did not show. Though, no one had told us just exactly why they thought he wouldn't be able to make it to Earth.
Hanging my arm out of Bumblebee open window, hand on the steering wheel pretending to drive, I breathed in a lung full of autumn air. True, being this far south in Nevada, nothing really changed much (unlike New Jersey where I took sometime getting use to the leaves on the tree's changing colour and the weather becoming colder), but there was always a different feel to the atmosphere when this time of year rolled around. I sighed happily.
Mikaela rubbed my hand. She smiled lovingly at me. "Love you," she murmured.
My heart beat speed up. "Love you too," I whispered back and kissed her hand. She sighed.
Bumblebee twittered at us through the radio. We laughed.
"Of course we love you too, 'Bee," Mikaela cooed at him and, after making sure no one was looking, bend across and kissed the Autobot insignia on the steering wheel.
"Ah, shucks," said an embarrassed voice. Mikaela semi-smiled and pecked the insignia again before sitting back down. (Though not before plating a hard, long kiss on my lips.)
"What the hell is this?" came Lennox's voice, teasing, over the walkie-talkie that was sitting between Mikaela and I. "Make out time or something?"
I pressed down on the talk button. "If it was, do you honestly think we would do it here?" I said, half-serious, "We would scar poor Bumblebee, for Primus' sake."
We heard Epps laugh as Lennox answered. "Whatever, just you two love-birds don't go disappearing when we make that quick stop at the pumpkin patch, because I will haul you two back to Bumblebee stark naked if I have too."
Bumblebee swerved a bit on the road, horrified by what he just heard, and Mikaela and I turned a bright red.
"We'll take that into consideration," I muttered and threw a look in the rear view mirror. Epps, Lennox, and Ironhide (I was sure) were laughing at us.
"I do not understand," Wheeljack said and I watched as the DBS Aston Martin pulled a head to drive along side Ratchet. "What does Major Lennox mean?"
Damn it. I saw Lennox's smile in an evil way.
"Well, Wheeljack," he started, voice dropping into a tone most teachers adopted when lecturing, "When a human male and female love one another very much, as Sam and Mikaela do, they tend to perform certain actions that-"
Mikaela ripped the walkie-talkie from my frozen hand. "Finish that fucking sentence Will!" She shrieked, smashing the talk button down. "And I'll beat your head in with a tire-iron! And cut off a certain area of the male anatomy that is very sensitive!" She whipped around, her long black hair glazing my face, and glared out the rear window at Lennox, who flinched. Epps had a hand over his mouth, holding in his laughter, and Ironhide's frame was shaking suspiciously.
"Okay, okay," Lennox stammered and I watched him put a hand up in surrender. "I won't say another word on that topic!"
"Good," snarled Mikaela, embarrassment clear on her face. She faced the front and huffed. I grabbed her hand and rubbed circles on it with my thumb. We'll get him back, I mentally promised.
Wheeljack slowed then speed up. "But I still do not understand," he exclaimed. I closed my eyes.
"Not now, Wheeljack," Optimus said, and I could have glomped his grill for stepping in. "Ratchet will explain it later."
Wheeljack sunk on his wheels a little. "Yes, Prime."
Everyone fell silent, the only noise the hum of the Autobots' engines. I watched out the wind-shield as Sunstreaker, disguised as a Burgatti-Veyron, pulled out of the line and speed up to drive along Sideswipe now that there was no traffic travelling down the other lane. It must have been hell to have been separated from your own twin for so long. Soon, we pulled into a dirt driveway (at Lennox's instructions) pumpkins littering the ground in giant piles. The farmer, like everyone else we had passed, gaped at the line of vehicles. Lennox and Epps hopped out of Ironhide and Mikaela and I followed suit, stretching our slightly cramped muscles. The Arcee triplets holograms leaned up against their alt-modes.
"Okay," Lennox said, turning away, "We'll be right back." Him and Epps walked off. The farmer continued to look at us and I waved cheerily at him. He narrowed his eyes and turned away.
"I remember pumpkin carving," I said, wrapping my arm around Mikaela. She snuggled up against me and laid her head on my shoulder. "It was great."
Mikaela shuddered slightly. "Except the guts," she muttered, "Those were just nasty."
"Depends on how you look at it." I said. Mikaela raised a delicate eyebrow at me. I winked.
"I do not understand the significance of carving a pumpkin," Ratchet said. We turned to look at him. "Is it solely for entertainment purposes?"
"Now a days, I guess you could say that, yes, its solely for that purpose," I said, "Though, back in the day they did it mainly to scare away the sprits of the dead by carving horrifying faces into them. And instead of pumpkins they used turnips."
"And you proceed to continue this act every year?"
Mikaela nodded.
"Weird!" Stated Mudflap, fascinated.
"Strange creatures, you humans…"
I laughed softly.
"You guys are the strange ones." Mikaela said.
We turned back to watch Lennox and Epps walk around the pumpkin patch, debating on what kind of pumpkin to get. The farmer watched them warily, eyes flickering over to us every so often. After nearly twenty minutes of watching Lennox and Epps attempted to pick a pumpkin I was sorely tempted to go and do it for them. It should take this long. Even Optimus was showing signs of thinning patients and he was a hard one to make impatient. I was just about to walk over when Bumblebee spoke.
"I want to carve a pumpkin," I heard from behind me.
Wait…what? Had I just heard that correctly? I turned slowly to face my best friend. The other Autobots were radiating off an air of what could have been taken for shock.
I stood, staring blankly, at the yellow Camero sitting seemingly innocent on the dirt driveway.
"Repeat what you just said," I managed to get out.
"I want to carve a pumpkin," a kids voice whined over the radio again and Bumblebee bounced a little on his tires enthusiastically.
Right. So I had heard him clearly.
"You want…to carve… a pumpkin?"
His head lights flashed two times, signalling a 'yes'. I stood gaping in front of him. My best friend, battle hardened guardian, and Autobot wanted to do something as mundane as carve a pumpkin. Wow. That was something completely new. Beside me, Mikaela stood giggling.
I drew in a breath. "Okay… why to you want to carve one?"
"Because it looks fun, of course!" came the excited answer. Ironhide's front lights blinked a few times and I could have sworn Optimus was laughing silently. Somehow, Sunstreaker even managed to look appalled.
Mikaela stepped in front of me, arms crossed. I blinked at her.
"Oh, c'mon Sam!" Mikaela said, "Let him carve one! What harm could it do?"
"I wasn't going to say no," I objected, "It just, how in the hell is he going to carve one? We're going to have to find one that's big enough for him."
Mikaela frowned thoughtfully.
"Bumblebee says he had located the perfect one," said Optimus amused. "It is standing by the oak tree."
Mikaela and I turned to look. There, resting in the shadow of the giant oak, stood a pumpkin that was easily four-feet tall and strangely shaped. Warts covered almost every available surface and it was more white then orange. I stared at it and two warts stared right back. Damn it, it was going to cost a lot. I sighed.
"All right, 'Bee. I'll get you that one," I said to him. He twittered happily.
"I wanna try dis!" Mudflap nearly shouted.
"Me too!" Skids exclaimed.
Ratchet shifted his wheels slightly, embarrassed. "I do emitted, it would be fun."
"Yes, it would," grumbled Ironhide.
I held my hands out in front of me, palms outwards. "Okay, before I go and buy the pumpkins…Who wants one?" I asked.
After some hesitant, every Autobot stated that they would like one. Sunstreaker reluctantly agreed when Sideswipe gave him a pointed look. (Something of an accomplishment, I had to emit, given that they were all still on their alt-modes.)
"All right," I declared, turning to stalk off, hands above me head. "Ten pumpkins coming up. Decided how were going to get them out of here though."
I walked off towards Lennox and Epps, Mikaela by my side. Somehow, this day had jumped off the weird-o scale and almost every day was extremely weird. Thirteen Autobots wanting to carve pumpkins. Primus, I swore to myself. How the slag are we going to pull this off?
Lennox and Epps were arguing over two pumpkins when we arrived at them. Which one was rounder and which one had a smoother surface.
"You two sound like a married couple arguing over what colour to paint the bathroom," I said in way of greeting. Mikaela shoved me a little.
"Shut it, Witwicky," Epps said. I smiled cheekily at him.
"Guess what," Mikaela giggled. My mouth twitched.
"What?" Lennox asked, pushing a pumpkin away when he noticed it was rotting on one side. He turned to another one.
"The 'bots want to try their hand at pumpkin carving," I told them and broke into a full blown smile. Mikaela continued to laugh softly.
Epps looked at us. "Seriously?"
I nodded. "Seriously. Bumblebee's already picked out the one he wants." I pointed to the one sitting under the giant oak. "We just have to find ones for the others."
Lennox stretched and grinned. "Awesome," he said, "I got Annie's and mine. You two might as well get one, seeing as you'll be missing out on the fun if you don't."
"I only have a twenty on me-"
Lennox waved me away. "No problem, kid," he said, "NEST's is paying for this one and if they asked where the money went, we'll say that we were educating the 'bots on human customs or something."
Epps snorted.
Lennox picked up the two pumpkins sitting at his feet. "All right," he declared, "Go and hunt for some pumpkins. I'll help in a minute." He walked off in the direction of the farmer, who was leaning up against the barn.
I shook my head and smiled. This was going to be very interesting.
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Close to forty-five minutes later, after buying the largest pumpkins we could find and distracting the farmer so we could load them into Ironhide's bed with the help of Bumblebee, our convoy pulled up in front of the Lennox's household. Medium sized and white washed, it looked as though it had been standing since the early nineteen-thirties. The previous owner had laboriously constructed a large barn off to one side and a child's swing set had been erected beside it. This is where Annabelle was, to busy trying to get over the top bar to notice our arrival.
After Mikaela and I exited Bumblebee's cab, he immediately transformed and walked the three steps it took to reach Ironhide. I was immensely glad that the Lennoxs' house had been build basically in the middle of no where, no prying eyes in sight to witness the thirteen alien robots parked in his dirt drive way or the way the twisted and turned before standing fully up right. Ratchet went to help Bumblebee relieve Ironhide of the load he was carrying.
Mikaela and I grabbed two, smaller pumpkins each and carried them over to the wooded picnic that was standing near the barn. A plastic tablecloth had already been laid over top of it, tapped down so it wouldn't proceed to get in the way. A bowl stood in the middle ready for pumpkin guts to be thrown in it. We set the pumpkins on top of the table. Annabelle magically appeared beside the table and squeaked, jumping up and down in excitement.
"Is that my pumpkin?!" She said eagerly, pointing towards one.
"Yep, that's your's," I answered.
Annabelle hopped on the picnic table and struggled to pull the pumpkin towards her, her face twisting with effort. Her blonde pony tale, held back with a pink ribbon, swung back and forth. I stood watching her for a moment before reaching over and pushing the pumpkin over to her. She smiled up at me. I smiled back and winked.
"Thanks, Unc' Sammy," she said sweetly.
"No problem, squirt," I said.
Annabelle stuck her tongue out at me. I held in laughter. She had always hated the nickname I had given her. I stuck my tongue out too. She giggled.
"Real mature, Sam," Mikaela whispered in my ear, her arms encircling my waist. I turned and kissed her.
"Eww," I head Annabelle exclaim and the sound of her getting up from the table, "Daddy! Make Unc' Sammy and Auntie Mikaela stop kissing!" Her voice faded as she ran off, her tone of voice betraying disgust in only the way a five year old could. I felt Mikaela smile against my lips.
"Think we should listen?" Mikaela said, when we broke apart, eyes twinkling. Beautiful, perfect blue eyes.
"I'm not done yet," I murmured and dived back in. Mikaela responded enthusiastically. Warm and soft, every bit as lovely as the first time we had kissed. I felt my heart melt a little. I was such a lucky guy to have gotten a girl like this, who was supposedly way out of my league. We continued to kiss.
"All right you two," I heard Lennox say, "Stop eating each others faces."
"Eww!" Annabelle said again. Mikaela and I broke apart and looked over. Everyone was watching us. I felt my face grow red. Mikaela giggled embarrassed. Wheeljack tilted his head to the side a frown blooming on his faceplate.
"I still do not fully understand that action," Wheeljack said, "Is it some sort of mating ritual?"
"Something to that degree," answered Ratchet. His pumpkin was tucked under his arm.
I looked around the semi-circle of Autobots and almost laughed out loud. Each was carefully holding their pumpkin afraid that they would accidentally squish it. Sunstreaker was holding his an arms length away from himself his faceplate screwed up in revulsion. I couldn't help it and burst into pearls of laughter.
Bumblebee clicked at me.
I waved a hand at him and attempted to control myself. "Nothing, 'Bee, nothing," I chocked out, "Just not a sight I thought I would ever see." Giggle.
"I know what you mean," muttered Epps. He set four medium sized knives on the table. A thought struck me.
"The 'bots need knives," I stated.
Ratchet made a whining noise with his engine. We all looked over. "My medical equipment with suffice," he said grumpily, "I will just have to wash it thoroughly when I have finished."
Bumblebee waved an arm and unleashed his 'Stinger' (as Mikaela and I had taken to calling the weapon).
"All right but what of the rest of you-" Mikaela said.
"We're small enough to use regular kitchen knives," the Arcee's interrupted in unison, their one pumpkin held between them.
"I already have something," Wheeljack muttered, concentrating on his pumpkin turning it this way and that. The fins on the side of his head flashed and he nodded to himself. He's gonna manage to blow it up, I thought jokingly.
"Man, we's got somethin'!" Skids said, grabbing their pumpkin from Mudflap. They both sat down and started to converse in Cybertronian, their pumpkin set between them.
Lennox nodded and turned to Optimus and Ironhide. "Okay, what about you two?" he asked. "There's some blades from the John Deer lawnmower in the barn you could use."
Ironhide and Optimus nodded.
Lennox clapped his hands together and stalked off towards the barn.
When everyone had their knives, Sarah kindly giving the Arcee triplets three chef knives and Epps setting an old plastic kiddie pool on the drive for the pumpkin guts, we got started. Sarah was walking around with a camera snapping picture after picture and Mikaela asked if she could have a copy of them.
"All right, Sam," said Optimus, sitting crossed legged by the barn doors, "What do we do first?"
The Autobots all swerved their head towards me. I picked my knife up and stabbed it into the top of my pumpkin. "You cut the top off," I said, demonstrating, "A circle or a square, what ever you want."
The 'bots followed suit, slowly cutting the tops off. Skids and Mudflap managed to get into a small verbal fight about who was going to perform the act before deciding that one would cut half way and the other would then take over. I giggled quietly, looking around. Aliens carving pumpkins, Primus this was beyond weird. Lennox helped Annabelle guide the knife around the stem of her pumpkin.
"Right," I said, setting my knife down, "Now you twist the top off," I pulled my pumpkin top off and guts proceed to follow it, "And cut away a little of the flesh to get the guts off."
Bumblebee twittered in curiosity and poked the guts attached to his pumpkin top. He twittered again when some became stuck to his finger and attempted to shake them off. Sarah snapped another picture and Annabelle giggled. "Silly, 'Bee," she mumbled, playing with pumpkin guts. Lennox rubbed her head, smiling.
"This is disgusting," Sunstreaker said, revolted, "This is never going to come off me!"
"Relax," Epps said, throwing guts into the kiddie pool, "It'll come off."
"So, we scoop the guts out, yes?" The blue Arcee asked and I nodded.
The 'bots proceed to take the guts out of their pumpkins, making different noises as they did so. Wheeljack spend more time looking at the guts, muttering to himself, then taking them out. Optimus' hand was to big to fit through the hole on the top of his pumpkin so Mikaela, after finishing with hers, got up and went to help him. Annabelle had raced over to help Ironhide and was now fully inside his pumpkin handing out guts to him. He watched her carefully a hand holding his pumpkin in place on the ground so it wouldn't role away with her in it. Sunstreaker looked as though it would like to be nothing more then be sick to his tanks as he cleaned his pumpkin and Sideswipe continually joked to him that the pumpkin had a better chance of taking him down then a Decepticon. Sunstreaker snarled at him and I laughed which earned me a glare. Skids and Mudflap had gotten guts all over themselves, more then what they had put in the kiddie pool and Ratchet was grumpily under his breath that he would have to be the one to remove every last seed from their frames. The Arcee's had finished and were looking up designs on the internet from what I could tell from the dimmed optics. Bumblebee watched me as I gutted my pumpkin and I help him a little to gut his.
"Now you carve something into it's face," I informed them, "Whatever you think is scary."
Skids and Mudflap snorted softly and set to work, hiding their pumpkin from view.
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A few hours later, after we had helped clean up and Ratchet had thrown a hand full of guts at Skids and Mudflap, we all stood on the Lennox's front lawn and admired our pumpkin carving skills.
"That was a very interesting experience," Optimus said.
"Indeed," Ratchet answered.
"Though, it was fun, I'll admit," hiccupped a man over Bumblebee radio. I smiled.
"Glad you guys enjoyed it," Lennox said happily, Annabelle on his shoulders.
"We should do tis again next year!" Mudflap and Skids said.
Sunstreaker growled.
Lined up in a straight row, candles flicking in them, fourteen carved pumpkins stared at us. I had to admit the 'bots did have some wicked art skills. Skids and Mudflap had carved 'The Hatchet' into the pumpkin (in a very good likeness), the Arcee's and Optimus had decided to go with the more traditional Halloween design adding a few personal touches. Bumblebee had, and I add mentally cringed at the design, carved Megatron in to his pumpkin. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had carved no real design though the strange patterns they had created were still beyond cool. Ironhide had carved (as Annabelle sat by his foot and gave instructions) a black cat. Wheeljack had carved something that looked strangely like plans for an invention and Ratchet had (and we had laughed at this) carved everyone of the Autobots stating that they were the most horrifying thing he could think of.
Ours were less artistic then the 'bots but I had to admit they did still manage to look good. Annabelle's had a large smiley face on it, Epps and Lennox had carved what looked to be vampires, Mikaela had done a witch, and I had settled for a bat. I stared at them and drew Mikaela closer to me.
"The 'bots ones are pretty," exclaimed Annabelle.
Optimus chuckled/
As the Autobots, Lennox, Epps, Sarah, and Annabelle moved away towards the planned movie marathon in the back yard (Young Frankenstein playing first I believe) I pulled Mikaela to me and kissed her hard on the lips. We stood like that for a moment, tangled in one another, tasting something that was sweeter then candy. The full moon was rising already on the horizon and somewhere a wolf howled.
"Happy Halloween," I murmured to her when we broke apart and then stole another kiss.
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Sunstreaker and Wheeljack's alt-modes are linked on my page. Go and take a look if you have no idea what those cars look like.
For Tranquility being near the bottom of Nevada and not really going through a season change, I running of something I read on a website that said the events of Transformers takes place in January-February and, you know, they were running around in t-shirts and tank tops so I couldn't have been all that cold out (Not to mention the green leaves on the tree's…)
The farmer used growth hormone on his pumpkins. Only way I can think for explaining where the hell they found pumpkins big enough for the 'bots. (Although, Bumblebee's is actually based on the giant one at the farm where I got mine.)
First time writing in first person. How'd I do?
I finished it off pretty quickly, so sorry of it sounds kind of dysfunctional. I had a party to get ready for.
Review please!