Elibe CROSS Tellius

WARNING! We seriously recommend leaving your brain in a safe place while reading this fic. Reading this fic with a brain on your head might damage it. If you require a new brain, please call the nearest hospital. Thank you for choosing us.

A/N: I'm back! Some of you might remember me from the fic "Kidou Senshi Gundam Angel" (Which I started all over from scratch about four months ago.) I will update it soon… I just had a writer's block (Random Person: You are a writer?) I hope this fic makes you laugh. It's going to be really CRAZY, so I hope you get a laugh or two at least. Also, I haven't finished FE9 yet, so I'm just going to assume Ashnard and the Black Knight are dead…

Anyways! On with the fic!

Disclaimer: Fire Emblem belongs to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems. This is a fan work; no profit is being made of it. Nothing here belongs to me. Everything belongs to their respective owners. Don't sue me. I'm broke.

Chapter 1 – Let the Fun Begin!

Ah, another wonderful day in Tellius… Or so we thought…

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And so, Ike wakes up from that horrible dream in which he was being chased by the epitome of Evil: Martha Stewart. Not to mention that she was wielding the most powerful killing substance in existence: her cooking.

"Phew, it was only a dream… I thought I was going to die thanks to…"

"Thanks to what?"

"AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OHMYASHERASHEHASCOMETO…oh, hi Lethe!" said Ike regaining his composture.

"What was that scream all about?"

"Well, why are you at my window?"

"King Caineghis sent me to tell you to go downstairs. They say the have 'The Thing' ready, don't ask me what".

"Okay, okay, I'm going. Wait for me downstairs."

" 'Kay, see you, beorc.", with that, she jumped out of the window.

It has been one year since the Crimea Liberation Army (dubbed the CLA), defeated Ashnard. The merry group reunited at Gallia to commemorate the victory.

Okay, Ike's ready. He walks down the stairs, only to find Tibarn talking to Reyson:

"I have just taught your sister a modern language! Now she can communicate with everybody!" said Tibarn, as excited as a 5-year-old.

"Really? Thanks! You taught her English, right?"

"Erm…Sort of…" responded the hawk king, getting instantly nervous.

"What do you mean by sort o…."

"H3ll0, br0th3r! 1 c4n t4lk n0w! J00 sh0uld ph33r m1 l337 5k1llz!" Leanne, well… l33t3d.

"My god Tibarn! What have you done! I'm going to forget I'm a heron and kick your scrawny little a…"

"Oh Ike! You're here! Quick, go outside! The three laguz kings have something important to show you guys!" Woah, Tibarn was a smooth operator.

So the three kings and the whole group of Greil mercenaries PLUS their close friends were outside. Tibarn cleared his throat.

"Ahem! Well , I want to tell to all of you to..." He ripped his shirt and nabbed Rolf's bow. "GET TO DA CHOPPAH!11one1!" Everybody looked at him and remained silent.

"One: Get to da Choppah is a Schwarzenegger line, not a Rambo line. Two: What the hell is a chopper?" Oscar responded.

"No matter, just watch. Janaff! Music!" Tibarn ordered.

"Aye, aye, King Ramb… King Tibarn! Damn, why do they have to look so much alike!" Janaff said and thought.

TANANANANANANA TANNAANAANANAANANNA NANANA NA NA NANA NA NA NANANA NANA NA NA NA NA

Janaff: Gan Gan Gan Gan!

Wakai inochi ga makka ni oete

GETTA SUPAAKU sora takaku

Mitaka gattai GETTA ROBO da

Gettsu Gettsu GETTA Gettsu

Mitsu no kokoro ga hitotsu ni nareba

Hitotsu no seii ha hyakuban PAWAA

Aku o yurusuna GETTA PANCHI

Getto Getto GETTA GETTA ROBO!

(A/N: Copy pasted out of AnimeLyrics. Hope you guys don't mind!)

While he sang, Caineghis, Tibarn, and Naesala formed the Almighty, Omnipotent GETTER ROBO! But because of having a mecha at this medieval time, they accidentally broke the space time continuum, creating a rift in time and dimensions! Our heroes are transported to another world, sucked by a Big-O vortex! BIG-O! BIG-O BIG-O BIG-O! Ahem! Sorry…

Sain sighed. "Dude, I'm bored… No girls to woo, no nothing! In fact, all of Eliwood's Elite was stationed at Castle Caelin, where they celebrated the defeat of Nergal. Then Getter appeared overhead! And the FE7 guys are also sucked into the vortex! And then I ate a Hot Dog!

Ike groggily woke up. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what happen…" Then Rolf responded "Someone set us up the bomb!" He was then smacked in the head by Boyd. "Shaddup, Peewee!" "Stop calling me that! Just because I get closer to a girl in a day than what you have done in your lifetime doesn't give you the right to call me Peewee!" Then Boyd shut up.

Someone put his hand on Ike's chest. "Welcome… to the real world." "Eh… Who're you?" "My name is the Tactician, Symphony the Tactician." "Ooohhhkay…."

Then Symphony turned around and faced a girl with dark green hair tied back in a ponytail and said: "See, Lyn, when I told you I was from another world, I wasn't high on vulneraries!" "Maybe I'm the one high on vulneraries now" the girl responded.

They are in what we call a city. Building, skyscrapers, you name it. Lyn turned around to see that Florina was on top of Sain. "Saaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" He woke up to the call of his name. "YOU ARE SO DEAD!" She grasped the hilt of her Sol Katti, but was shot by Symphony on the back with a M9 sedative pistol. M9, don't leave Elibe without it.

"You guys wait here. I'm going for something, be right back." Symphony left running very quickly.

So Ike and Sain took the job of waking everyone up and explaining the situation. Blame Kar…Getter Robo. I don't want to get sued. Just then, what looked like a gigantic battleship floated above them, and a tractor beam sucked them in. They were inside that thing, and Symphony was there too.

"Gentlemen, welcome to the SDF-1 Macross."

And so, the adventures of the Greil Mercenaries and Eliwood's Elite in the modern world begin. They will live though many adventures, from playing PSP, to resisting the length of the Dunkin' Donuts lines.

This is ElibeXTellius, or Elibe CROSS Tellius. May the force be with them.

Its going to get better, I swear!

NEXT CHAPTER

Ike and Sain become friends! Soren discovers that marvelous thing we call PSP! A Counter-Strike deathmatch between Tellius (CTs) and Elibe (Ts)! Lethe gets chased by catgirl fanboys! Tibarn gets chosen as John Rambo for Rambo IV when Sylvester Stallone gets injured! Duke Nukem Forever gets released! All this, and many more in the next chapter of Elibe CROSS Tellius! Well, except for the latter, nobody knows if that's actually going to happen someday! And maybe I will stop using so many exclamation marks!

R&R! Oh Noes! I can't stop using the exclamation marks!