The shield

Summary: I sat mere inches from him, and my hand shakily took his. But even though he allowed me to touch him, it seemed like there was always a shield between him and the rest of the world.

Alternate POV's

Line break between each POV (Kuurio, Gaara)

Please read and review. This story is important to me, and I hope it's as good as I hope it is!

-Kuurio—

"What's it like?" I looked next to me confused. My own eyes being met my deep teal ones.

"What?" I looked at him confused, swinging my feet underneath me.

"Being touched, being un-feared, and being in love with a monster."

I frowned slightly, and then smiled. "It's something I'm used to; it's just a matter of trusting someone; knowing that he's not going to hurt you. Even though he doesn't know himself sometimes…"

I sat, just mere inches away from him. And I took his hand shakily. I had imagined his sand to block me instantly, but was surprised that I was allowed to intertwine our fingers and feel his soft skin against mine.

His hands we're shaking too, nervous and sweaty and he gripped my own and looked at me unsure.

"Does this mean you trust me?"

He just stayed quiet, his eyes never leaving mine, never blinking. "I don't know what to feel…"

And it was then that I could feel it. Feel the way his hand seemed almost unreal.

I squeezed his hand again, and could sense it. He was covered with his sand; his last shield.

"What's it like?" I asked this time, seeing confusion in his murky green orbs.

"It's lonely…" He confessed, looking away as he continued.

"It's like being trapped in an unbinding prison. You're allowed to walk around, and interact, but you will forever be prisoner to it; to this curse."

I pulled on his hand slightly, and he looked at me as I scooted forward.

"I have the key…"

He raised a non-existent eyebrow, eyeing me cautiously as I nervously licked my lips.

"The key that will set you free from this curse," I leaned slightly closer, and dared to run a hand through his maroon hair. I pulled him slightly forward, and his eyes widened; I could feel him tense and pull away a little. "Just trust me, just this once Gaara."

He stayed tense, but I pulled him forward again and connected my lips with his.

It was my first kiss, a simple first kiss with the man who had claimed my heart in our childhood years.

And even though I sat mere inches away from him and he allowed me to touch him, it seemed as if there was always an invisible wall between Gaara and the rest of the world; even me.

It was his shield; his last chance to keep from getting hurt.

As I pulled away I chewed on my lip. His hand rested itself against my cheek bone.

"Why do you seem so…so far away?" I asked, hardly containing myself as my voice broke.

He frowned and curled his fingers slightly, caressing my cheek.

"I don't remember how to get rid of it."

"Can you try?" I asked frantic. "I want to feel your skin, Not the shield that lies above it!"

He pulled his hand away slowly, and I shook as tears scattered my vision making everything blurry.

"I'm sorry Kuurio…"

And he stood, taking my heart and his shield with him.

/3Heartbreak/3

I waited two months.

Exactly two months before I saw him again. And when I smiled and ran towards him saying his name I ran into a wall of sand. Confused, I tried to reach for him but he just shook his head.

"Do I know you?" he had asked. I was frantic, my heart shattered into a million pieces and I began to beat my fists on his shield, convulsing with tears.

"I'm your girlfriend! You love me!" I shook with broken sobs. "Don't you remember me Gaara?"

He looked at me quietly. "I'm sorry, but I think you must have confused me with someone else…"

Lie.

That was the thought on my mind.

Pretend you don't know her, cast a blind stare.

I could see in her eyes as her heart shattered, and she fell to the ground in pieces.

"I'm sorry…"

And I walked away.

([Shielded])

My shield had never worked around Kuurio.

It never lasted long when she burst into laughter or cast me a bright smile. My wall I had built crumbled to the ground as she walked next to me, or twirled in the falling sakura flowers from the spring trees.

I learned that my shield was no match against her, the way she made me feel made me weak. How she smiled brought my mental state to a scramble. I was cast into a dark world, and my only light, my only mission was to see Kuurio, to see her smile.

I soon found myself obsessed; I began to seek her out on a regular basis, and I could feel my steely mask slipping every time she looked at me.

When she touched me, my entire body screamed. Not in fear but in acceptance, fire burned through my skin. I shook uncontrollably; it was always so hot around her. I always managed to lose my cool.

How cliché.

And when she leaned forward and ran her hand through my hair, she didn't look terrified of the monster that stirred in me. She didn't blink at the blood lust that hung on my tongue.

She kissed me, willingly giving her young innocence to a monster.

I think what terrified me was that I realized I too had fallen for her. For her laugh, the way she looked all the time. How childish she acted, how her strong will carried through with everything she did, with everything she grew to be. It burned in her emerald eyes.

The way her smile made me feel wanted. How she whispered small promises to me and thought I didn't hear her.

I began to try and find ways to make her happy, all the while falling more and more for this girl who had made me as close to human as I had ever felt.

And that's when the monster awoke, that's when the shield covered my skin.

Realization hit me like bricks, she had control, any minute she would snatch cloud 9 from beneath me and watch as I plummet to the ground without a parachute.

But the next day after I left, I couldn't bring myself to even imagine Kuurio doing something so evil. I couldn't even rise my eyes to look at myself realizing that I had let the monster ruin my life again, and let it take everything I ever wanted.

The two months we're grueling. Waves of horrible nostalgia hit me repeatedly and I found myself swept away with thoughts of this small blonde girl I had become so infatuated with. I became weak.

([shielded])

I heard her scream my name as she ran towards me, and I almost felt myself smile but put up my barrier blocking her from my torn heart.

Lie.

I soon found out, she wasn't the only one I was lying to.

One week followed before I had finally pulled my head out of my ass, excuse the phrase, and went to her place.

As I looked into her window, my breath caught as I stared at her in one of her oversized t-shirts brushing out her hair out in her mirror as she cryied silently to herself. She soon became flustered and flung her hairbrush at her mirror and doubled over crying onto her vanity.

I stepped quietly into her room and walked towards her, holding a breath and feeling her name build up in my throat as I almost breathed it. Almost thinking that seeing her again was a blessing in itself.

"Kuurio…"

I placed my hands gently on her shoulders and she sat up slowly still breathing and hiccupping a little before seeing me in her mirror and turning around looking up at me shocked like a small child before she tackled me to the ground and gripped onto my shirt crying into it.

Her muffled words vibrated against my skin and I found myself smoothing her hair in a familiar manner before pulling her up and kissing her.

I thought that I didn't know how to drop my shield, my one protection. But as I fell for Kuurio, she held my hand and caught me before I hit the ground; she revived me when my breathing stopped. She trusted me before she thought of the consequences.

My shield shattered. and as I pulled her tight against me, It felt like I had almost forgotten the feel of human skin as her hands raked themselves through my hair.

"Does this mean?" She asked quietly into my shirt, looking up at me unsure, with her big green eyes wide and hopeful.

I smiled and shook my head, smiling against my judgment in the light of an angel that lay almost breathless on top of me.

"It does…"

She sniffed. "So no more shield?"

I nodded and she smiled happily, tears filling her eyes again and she nuzzled my neck whispering small promises again, except this time she wanted me to hear each one as it slipped from her lips.

"I promise too Kuurio, I promise."

She was the only one who had ever broken my shield. She was my first kiss, and my first love, and I still found myself unafraid of being heartbroken in the end of my life because the smile she gave me when I told her I first loved her sent my mind on a haywire search for my sanity.

She made me feel human again, and I found that my shield no longer hung its heavy burden on my shoulders.

[Months later]

"Thank you."

She looked at me confused.

"What are you thanking me for?"

I smiled and kissed her gently. "Just for everything"

She laughed softly and rolled her eyes. "Sure, okay, you're welcome."

And I still think to this day she has no idea how happy those four words made me.

©2010 Kuurio