Another lovely little shounen-ai fic…thought I'd try some humor this time, though. As usual, if you don't like it, don't read it. And now, I'll have my muses deliver the disclaimer. Oh muses!
Piers and Felix: (appear dressed in princess outfits)
Me: Awwwwwww, you look sooooooo cute!
Piers and Felix: (look ready to kill the next thing that moves)
Me: (moves)
Piers and Felix: SMITE!
Piers and Felix launch a team strike! 13,874,957,439,455 points damage to VenusDjinn31!
Piers and Felix: Huh? A LLAMA? SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!
Me: Bwahaha, you cannot kill an authoress! (uses her Super Sparkly Smite powers to destroy Piers and Felix) 15 points damage to Piers and Felix. You felled Piers and Felix.
Me: Wusses. I'll just deliver the disclaimer myself. I don't own Golden Sun, or my sweet lil' Piers and Felix, or the Emperor's New Groove (that's where the llama line came from). So, without further ado, its'…
First Kiss Ooh La-La
"Only 15 minutes left of this year!" squealed Sheba excitedly as she eyed the clock.
"Almost time to usher in a new year!" exclaimed Mia.
"Hey, Isaac, do we still have any eggnog?" asked Garet, his mind on his favorite subject-food. (A/N Garet thinks about food about every 5 seconds.)
"NO! MY EGGNOG!" Jenna, always on the warpath, leapt to defend her precious eggnog like a mother bear defending her cub.
"Jeesh, Jenna, I only wanted a tas-OW! What was that fo-OW! STOP! OW OW OW!"
"Stop thinking about my eggnog or I'll Serpent Fume you again!"
Felix could only groan and roll his eyes at his sister. No matter what the situation, she always managed to retain her trademark violence.
It was December 31st and as tradition held, the eight Adepts who had journeyed across all of Weyard had gathered together in Vale to celebrate the old and welcome in the New Year.
Unfortunately for some, a few romances had blossomed over the past year. Isaac sat on the couch with his arms protectively around Mia. Ivan and Sheba often glanced at each other with secrets only the Jupiter Adepts could know. And even though she beat him up at least 5 times a day, there was only love to be gained between Jenna and Garet. Even when he stole her eggnog.
As for Felix…
He'd tried to fall in love. He'd really, seriously tried. But somehow, the right girl never ever came across to him. Sure, he'd seen some pretty faces and some pretty smart minds, but no girl ever seemed interested in the slender, quiet, somewhat shy Venus Adept who, no matter what he did, could never make his hair go flat.
Perhaps that's why he had such a strong bond with Piers. The two of them were on the bachelor boat together and were in no real hurry to leave. Every time they saw Isaac and Mia kissing, they made gagging noises and pretended to stick their fingers down their throats. They often stayed up late in the night, laughing, talking, and simply enjoying one another's company. Besides, all that "lovey-dovey" stuff made them sick. As Piers had so kindly put it one day, "I'd rather hack a Flame Dragon to pieces with a sword than suck face with someone all day."
What Felix didn't understand was why Piers didn't have a girlfriend. He'd said before that he never had a girlfriend in Lemuria, and Felix took his word on it. (Besides, Piers said if he lied about it, he'd tell him his age.) But Piers was a strong, handsome fellow-why weren't the girls falling all over themselves to get at him?
Felix had asked him about it once, and he responded as such:
"I think girls can feel from you if you want to go out with them or not. It's never really interested me much. Now, if the sea were a maiden, that would completely change things…"
It was true. There was no keeping the Lemurian out of the water. Felix sometimes thought he fell overboard deliberately.
He glanced at Piers, who was sitting next to him. He was laughing, a big, bright laugh at Jenna, who was chasing Garet round the house while brandishing the frying pan she'd attempted to cook breakfast in. Some eggs were still stuck to the wall.
Felix laughed as well when Garet burst into the room, running pell-mell towards the couch and promptly flipped over it. Upon his landing, Jenna ambushed him and whacked him savagely.
"Sis, easy on the big oaf. We don't know how much his brain can handle."
Jenna narrowed her eyes at her big brother. "What's THAT supposed to mean!"
"Nothing," said Felix innocently. "Hey, Garet, how many fingers am I holding up?"
Garet sat up, looking dazed. "Pancakes," he replied with as much aplomb as he could muster.
Felix and Piers nearly fell over themselves laughing. "Hey, what's so funny?" asked Garet puzzledly.
"Nothing, Garet. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?"
"Two!"
Piers and Felix doubled over. This was too hysterical.
"He gives the right answers, we just ask the wrong questions," Piers whispered in Felix's ear, blowing his warm breath on Felix's neck.
"You…you…I'll get you for this!" barked Jenna as she grabbed Garet by the collar, hoisted him onto the couch and sat down, sulking.
"Oh, cheer up, Jenna," said Ivan. "In five minutes that will all be SO last year."
Everyone groaned. Ivan wasn't renowned for his sense of humor.
"Jeez, guys, it wasn't that bad…"
"Ivan, I wouldn't quit your day job and become a comedian, that's all," joked Sheba.
"Why you-" with that, Ivan pounced on Sheba and the two waged a No-Holds-Barred, Show No Mercy Tickle War.
"Hey, everyone get together! There's only a minute left!" called Isaac.
The three couples and two bachelors all squeezed together on a couch meant for three. One can imagine how comfy that was. Felix and Piers were smushed together at the end of the couch, with barely enough room for one to sit.
"Hey, do you want to sit on my lap?"
Felix looked at his friend, rather surprised. "What?"
"Just until the New Year hits. If you haven't noticed, we're a little short on space here."
It was true. He had a feeling his legs would start narrowing if he didn't get up soon. "Alright. But just for the New Year. And don't try anything funny."
"What's that supposed to mean? asked Piers as Felix settled down on his lap.
"Nothing. Really," grumbled Felix. Come to think of it, he wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought he would be. In fact, sitting here was almost pleasant…
"TEN!"
The countdown to the New Year had begun.
"NINE!"
"EIGHT!"
"SEVEN!"
"Hey, aren't we supposed to kiss someone at midnight?" Felix asked, suddenly remembering why all the couples were there.
"Yeah, I think so," replied Piers.
"So, what do we do?"
There was a small pause.
"SIX!"
"FIVE!"
"FOUR!"
"Just something quick," said Piers. "You know they'll be liplocked for at least a minute. I wonder how they don't die from lack of oxygen. Just a little peck."
"For eternal bachelorhood?" asked Felix.
"Yep. Eternal bachelorhood."
"THREE!"
"TWO!"
"ONE!"
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
As they did every year, Sheba and Ivan leapt into the air just as the clock struck midnight. They tried to kiss in the air, but as you can imagine that didn't go so well. There was a loud "Aaaaah!", followed by a "Woomph!" and a thud, which was then followed by giggling.
The other two couples and two bachelors turned to one another and kissed. As Piers had predicted, Isaac and Mia and Jenna and Garet were attached to each other's mouths for quite sometime. Piers and Felix looked each other in the eye and moved in.
It was much nicer than Felix expected.
He thought it was going to be wet, sloppy, and disgusting, but it wasn't half-bad. Sure, it was wet, and it was warm-he didn't realize how warm a mouth was. But it was also soft and tender and really…quite nice. He even got into it a little, moving his lips and wrapping his arms around Piers as his friend did the same to him. And holding Piers so close to him just made the moment better.
"Ahem!" Someone cleared their throat behind them.
The two Adepts looked up, startled, to see their other six friends staring at them quizzically. Instantly, Piers and Felix turned red as cherry pies.
"Felix, Piers, is there something you're not telling us?" asked Ivan, laughing.
"NO!" the two responded, a little two quickly.
"Oh, leave them alone," said Mia. She smiled at them, although she looked just a wee bit confused.
"Wow. You guys are weird," said Garet, and he left the room in search of more food.
"Well. The new year's here, and I think we should all go to bed," announced Isaac, desperate to break the tension.
"Yeah. I think I'll go to bed. G'night," said Felix as he beat a hasty retreat to his room. Piers quickly followed suit.
Their friends watched as they hurried off to their room (The house was a little short on rooms).
"What's gotten into them lately?" asked Jenna.
"Iris only knows," muttered Sheba, looking at the ceiling. Then suddenly-
"TICKLE WAR!"
She'd totally forgotten about Ivan. The score rests now Ivan:37 Sheba: 23.
Felix burst into his room, bright red, wishing for the first time in a week since everyone had arrived that he didn't share a room with Piers.
"Oh my gods. What happened?" he asked, pacing around the room.
"I don't know," said Piers, changing into his bedclothes. "I think we both enjoyed it."
"WHAT! Enjoyed it! Are you crazy?" yelled Felix. "I…actually, yeah, I did like that."
"I think I've found the reason I haven't had a girlfriend," mused Piers.
"Yeah…me too," said Felix quietly. "Do you…wanna give that kissing thing another shot?"
Piers grinned, only too glad that he'd asked. He stood up, took Felix's hand in his, and began to leave kisses all over his knuckles and fingers.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"You never said where to start…"
"You little smart aleck…actually, that's really nice. Can you keep doing that?"
Piers grinned, happy to oblige. "Anything, my darling."
"No 'my darlings', please."
Piers pouted. "Spoil my fun."
"Ah, you're too cute when you pout."
"You get to say I'm cute but I don't get a measly, 'My darling'?"
"Nah. Those are the rules that I've just made up right now."
"And how do you plan on enforcing them?"
"Like so!" With that, Felix pulled his hand away and tackled Piers to the bed, giggling and tickling him everywhere.
Piers squealed like a Djinni. "Hee hee! Hee hee! Stop! Stop! STOOOOP! Ah! Uncle! Felix! Uncle Felix!"
Felix stopped and looked at him quizzically. "Uncle Felix? Where the hell did that come from?"
Taking advantage of his opponent's momentary vulnerability, Piers flipped Felix over so he was pinning him down. "Gotcha!"
"Hey! No fair!"
Piers chuckled and planted a swift kiss on his forehead. "Gotcha again."
"Yeah?" Felix challenged. He sat up and kissed a small exposed spot on Piers' chest. "I got you!"
The two laughed and laughed until Felix realized exactly how close Piers was to him. Their noses were nearly touching, and Piers had this dreamy expression on his face.
"Piers."
"Yes, Fe?"
Felix said nothing. He brought his lips back up to Piers' and pulled the Lemurian closer to him.
It was even better than the last time. Now, with no prying eyes upon them, they could really get into the moment.
At nearly the same time, they decided to French-ify the kiss. They opened their mouths and let their tongues explore.
"BLECH!"
Piers and Felix snapped apart like they'd been electrocuted. "Yuck! Blech! Ewww! That's so nasty!" yelped Felix.
"Ugh, it feels so weird," agree Piers, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
"It's like…like a really nasty, cooked vegetable or something."
"Yeah, like a cucumber that's been boiled for 3 hours too long."
"Or some really nasty cabbage."
"Right. Either way, it was disgusting. Let's not do that again."
Piers nodded. "Just lips, for now."
"Okay. Hey, what do you mean by 'for now'?"
"Fe, dear, isn't it rather obvious? I love-"
"GOTCHA!"
Piers stopped. It wasn't Felix who'd just screamed "GOTCHA!", and it certainly wasn't himself. He slowly turned towards the door.
Jenna and Garet were standing there in the doorway, laughing uncontrollably. Jenna had some object in her hand-probably to use as a missile. When both Felix and Piers were looking, they went to kiss each other and yelped, "Blech! Yuck!"
"Jenna! Garet! Oh, when I get my hands on you…"
Garet instinctively hid behind Jenna, thinking he was serious. Jenna just tutted and wagged her finger at him. "Naughty, naughty, big brother. You won't be tattling on me anytime soon."
"Oh yeah? And why's that?" Suddenly, Felix noticed the object in Jenna's hand. Then he saw a little red light. He put two and two together…
"JENNA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FILMED US! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!"
Jenna laughed as her brother chased her through the house, the camera safely in Garet's hands. "Who's laughing now, big brother? Who's laughing now?"
That fic is dedicate to my bestest friend of all time. Ole 4 Clay. "Cooked vegetables"…tee hee. Ahahaha…well, I hope you all read and review.
Click the little button. You know you want to. It's saying, "Click me…click me…"