Chapter 1

For as long as I can remember, Ember's been my savior, my protector.

It wasn't quite that our parents didn't care about us, they did. Well, Dad did, anyway. Mom was too busy with her alcohol addiction and the steady stream of boyfriends that came after. But Dad was just...Dad. He didn't really understand us, although he tried. For almost all my life, I felt distant from him, cut off. The only person in my life I could count on was my big sister, Ember.

Ember cared about me deeply. At nights, when Mom would come home drunk, and Dad would plead with her for the thousandth time to stop that hateful addiction, Ember would pat her bed in the room we shared, and say "Come on, Flame. They're not gonna stop for awhile." And I'd climb up and we'd huddle together long into the night. Most nights I fell asleep to Mom and Dad's fighting, and the reassuring rhythm of Ember rubbing my back.

But at the same time, as much as I loved my sister, there were times I wished that she wasn't quite so popular. Everybody loved Ember, and everybody seemed to hate me. Even Mom, when she was sober, always fawned over Ember, and it was that way right up until Ember's death. Maybe it was because Ember was born first, I don't know. All I know that even after her death, I was always living in my sister's shadow.

Ember was outgoing and loud; I was shy and introverted. Everybody just loved Ember's music, and she never passed up an opportunity to perform. No one knew that I was a budding musician myself. I kept my songs secret, all collected in a looseleaf binder kept under my mattress, hidden as craftily and secretly as some people hide their diaries.

I always felt like I was invisible next to Ember. Ember was outrageous. She added bright turquoise streaks to her naturally jet-black hair. Everybody loved them and wanted them for their own. Ember was popular in school, and her influence could make or break your high school career. Yet when I highlighted my hair with equally bright streaks of hot pink, everybody called me "Lame McLain" and "copycat". All I ever wanted to do was be like Ember.

Ember died when she was barely seventeen. I remember it all too clearly. Mom was on one of her drinking sprees, and she was screaming things at Ember that I don't really care to repeat. She advanced on Ember and Ember just kept backing away. It was the first, and last, time I ever saw Ember terrified.

"You're not fit to live in this household!" Mom screamed, her eyes all bloodshot and her speech all slurred. "You're a burden and a piece of scum! You're an arrogant little brat, you and that sister of yours! I hate you." I remember peeking around our bedroom doorway, too scared to even move. All of a sudden, I saw that Mom had a knife, just an ordinary knife from the kitchen. And she was aiming it right at Ember's chest.

"Mommy, don't!" I cried. I remember that I was thinking about how babyish that sounded, like a little girl. I'm a little girl anymore, I remember thinking, I am a strong willed, independent teenager. I'm thirteen years old, for god's sake! Such strange thoughts were running through my mind at that time.

I moved slowly and clumsily, as if I was underwater. I moved towards my mother and sister with no clear plan in my head, just to stand in the way of Ember and my mother. But just as I reached them, I tripped, and lay sprawled on my stomach beside them.

"Get out of the way, you little brat!" Mom snarled. As she advanced upon me, the hand with the knife grazed my cheek and I cried out in pain.

"Kids, kids, I'm so sick of you kids!" Mom fumed, turning back to Ember. "I'm gonna get rid of you kids once and for all!" The hot, rancid smell of beer was making my stomach churn. Mom's words drifted off into a stream of indistinguishable muttering and finally into silence as she inched closer and closer to my sister. Ember looked at me with wide. scared eyes. For the first time, I saw past the "cool" Ember, the one who was always the big one. For the first time, I saw that my big sister was just a terrified child inside. Just like me.

"Flame...help me!" she whispered, her green eyes wide with terror. I felt so helpless, scared and powerless to help the one who had always helped me before. It was the last thing I ever heard her say, for at that moment Mom struck. The blade of the knife flashed, and the next thing I knew, it was all over. Ember lay on the floor, the blade of the knife sticking theatrically out of her chest and blood spewing out of the wound. For one paralyzing moment, I thought Mom was going to do the same thing to me, but at the last minute, she turned away and stumbled out the front door, muttering something about needing more beer. She never returned. She got into a drunk driving accident, and died. She got what she deserved.

Poor Dad. He lost his wife and favorite daughter in one day. He found me an hour later, when he got home from work. He found me sobbing hysterically next to Ember's body, covered in Ember's blood, with a gash of my own on my cheek. I don't really remember what happened after that. It's just all a big blur. The Social Services people almost took me away from Dad after that. They thought he was unfit to be a parent because he left us alone when he knew that Mom was going to get drunk. But somehow he convinced them to let me stay. But after that fateful day, things were never quite the same. Dad was always somewhat removed from us, although he was more connected to Ember than he was to me. Everybody was. But now I was lucky if he spoke two words to me throughout the day. I guess he was dealing with the pain in his own way, and I in mine. My way was to write songs.

I wrote a song about Ember's death after her funeral. Her funeral was no different than her life was. Everybody focused on Ember, and nobody focused on me, and how I was feeling. Nobody, even all the aunts and uncles and cousins who came for the funeral, nobody knew who I was. I was just "that little girl crying her eyes out in the corner". As usual, I was almost a nonentity.

"You will remember my name." I muttered to myself furiously as everybody gathered around Ember's casket. "You will remember me someday." When I got home, I locked my bedroom door, flopped on my bed, took out my songs binder, and started to write.

Yeah! Ohh-ooohhh!
It was, it was September,
Wind blows, the dead leaves fall,
To you, I did surrender,
Two weeks, you didn't call...

Your life goes on without me,
My life, a losing game,
But you should, you should not doubt me,
You will remember my name...

Oh, Ember, you will remember!
Ember, one thing remains!
Oh, Ember, so warm and tender!
You will remember my name!

Your heart, your heart abandoned,
You're wrong, now bear the shame,
Like dead trees in cold December,
Nothing, but ashes remain...

Oh, Ember, you will remember!
Ember, one thing remains!
Ember, so warm and tender!
You will remember my name!

Oh-woo-oh-woo, Ember!
You will remember!
Ember, one thing remains!
Ember, so warm and tender!
You will remember my name!
Yeah! You will remember my name!

As I finished writing the song, I got up to go to the bathroom, leaving my songs binder on my bed. When I returned, I almost fainted, and I'm not the Miss Priss kind of girl who faints at every little thing. Ember was sitting crosslegged on my bed, reading my songs. When she heard the door close behind me, she turned her head and gave me a big grin.

"Hey, sis." she said calmly.

And that was where it all began.

A/N: Yeesh. I think I'm getting worse at this, not better. This chapter took me months to write and I only just now decided to end it here. I considered making it a one-shot, but decided against it. I've got too many ideas for just one chapter. Soo...a bit of a spin on my usual theme, right? How do you like it? And please, if you hate it, please tell me. My writing just doesn't seem to be what it used to be a couple months ago. So I'm finally gonna shut up now and let you review. Please review!