STUPID LOVE

(AoGA House Cup. Words: 756)

I'm an idiot. I let someone go just because of my stupidity. Now that she left me, every suffering goes with me. I never intended to hurt her. I never intended to let her go. It just happened in a blink of an eye. Then the one thing I could never want to lose, just left. I want to choke myself to death. Maybe this kind of suffering really is for me. She is my life. And now my life is gone, how could I ever live again?

It was summer when I first met her. She was that type of girl who would dare to call you anything. I was first annoyed with her. She can't seem to shut her mouth even for a short while. We would always call each others' names and as days passed by, I became too fond of her. And it also turned out I fell in love with her.

"Ne, Natsume.." Mikan said. The girl I used to tell this story about. "Why are you always so annoying?" She continued. I chuckled for a bit and stared at her. Her cute hazel eyes flashed before me. "Why are you laughing, Natsume? Did I say anything wrong again to you?" She pouted.

"You're just too cute." I chuckled. Her eyes turned into huge saucers. "You think I'm cute?"

"Don't think too much, Polka. Who might even think I really mean it?" I started to annoy her. I really love it when she gets annoyed. "You… I hate you!" She shouted and strutted away.

I followed and held her hand. She froze. She looked at me and asked, "Now, what do you want?" I looked into her eyes. We were staring at each other for a long moment. "Mikan.." I croaked. I was feeling a bit nervous. "I wanted to tell you something." She didn't reply so I continued. "Mikan… I… I... I…" I was about to finish whatever I was trying to say when suddenly.

"Hey! There you are!" We were both surprised to see Ruka and Imai walking towards us. "What are you two doing here?" I asked them irritatedly. "Oh, come on, Natsume. This is a city park." Imai said. She continued. "But I guess you were about to say something to her. Sorry for the interruption."

"Hotaru! You missed me!" Mikan ran towards her. "Get away from me, Baka! I would just want to give this to you. It's an invitation for my birthday party. You two should come or else." Imai used her daggering words again. I took the invitation before they could even bid goodbye.

"Ne, Natsume.. you can continue," Mikan said. "Mikan… I think.. I love you." I finally told her as I could feel myself blushing madly. I saw her eyes twinkled, literally. "Really? Natsume! I think I love you too!" She ran giving me a hug. It felt like it was the best moment of my life. "So… Er… Are we.. You know?" I asked her stammering. "Yes!" She excitedly exclaimed!

From that day, everything became magical. We were always together and seemed to be more comfortable than before. She was more than anything. She had been my life. She's the only thing in the world I would really want. I love her so much. But one day…

It was Imai's birthday. Mikan excused herself to the bathroom. I was just waiting for her when a girl came towards me and kissed me. I pushed her away from me but it was too late. Mikan saw it and she ran away. I followed her, running as fast as I can. I could see her wiping tears. "Mikaaaan!" I called her. But she just continued running. "Mikaaan! Waiiit!" She was about to cross the street but…

"Mikaaaaaaaan!" I screamed as loud as I could.

It's supposed to be our anniversary today. But I think everything went too late. Now, I'm off to some place. A place where I can talk to her. A place where I can say sorry and let her feel how much I love her. The cemetery. Yes, she's gone. She was hit by a truck. I couldn't do anything to save her. It was too fast. I pulled her so close to me and cried. She is my life, but because of my stupidity, she left. She's my everything. But those everything became nothing because of me. I lost someone so dear. I hate it. I hate the fact that I lost my life.