for auld lang syne, my dear, a glee fanfic

TITLE: for auld lang syne, my dear
AUTHOR: ponderer
SUMMARY: "She had, however, sent him an email on the 25th to wish him a Merry Christmas, love Rachel body with a smiley face as the subject line." Finchel
DISCLAIMER: I want for nothing.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've been listening to acoustic coffee shop music and it inspired this. It's a mixture of fluff and angst. Happy New Year.

Rachel didn't necessarily want to join in on the New Year's party hosted by Mercedes, but once her dads learned about the invitation, they tried motivating her to go.

"Rachel, love, we've been invited out with the Mayer's and we would feel horrible if you sat at home all alone on New Year's Eve," her first dad explained as they sat across from their daughter on the couch, her on the recliner.

"Won't it be fun, being with your friends when the clock strikes twelve?" her second father asked, smiling. Rachel frowned, still unsure.

"It's no pressure, darling," the first added. "We just don't want you to be sad."

Shakily, she responded, "Of course. I'm sure I'll have a wonderful time."

She hadn't seen Finn since school let out for the holidays. She spent the days with her dads, and the evenings with her extended family lighting the menorah and receiving gifts. It was a fairly quiet affair, mostly because Rachel couldn't find the usual light in herself without knowing if Finn had completely recovered from the baby drama.

She had, however, sent him an email on the 25th to wish him a Merry Christmas, love Rachel body with a smiley face as the subject line.

Disappointed and rejected, she checked her email everyday to find only Myspace comments from her distant cousin.

Rachel only hoped that he would be at the party on the eve of the new year.

Her dads had bought her a new dress to celebrate the party. It fell down right below her knees, shiny with a slim waist and full skirt. It was sleeveless, with two deep V's in the front and back, so she opted to wear a cami beneath and a sweater on top. Capping it off with a new pair of red pumps, she checked her reflection and saw only distress and nerves.

Something she was used to seeing ever since she met Finn Hudson.

She was the second person to arrive at Mercedes' house, promptly followed by Tina who also carried a large plate of food. Rachel smiled at the girl as they met halfway through the yard.

"Did you have a good Christmas?" she asked timidly to Rachel.

"I'm Jewish," Rachel answered quietly. Tina frowned and then shook her head.

"No, of course I knew that. I mean, did you have a nice Hanukkah?" This time Rachel really smiled and nodded.

"I did. My dads bought me this dress," she replied and Tina looked it over. "You look lovely, Tina," she commented. Tina was wearing an electric blue dress, short and slimming, her long hair up in an elegant French twist, her dark makeup gone replaced with lighter shades.

Tina had the decency to blush and Rachel had it on good authority that this change was for a boy in a wheelchair. "Thanks, Rachel."

Tina reached the door first and rang the doorbell. Kurt answered wearing all glitter and garb looking fabulous as always. "Welcome ladies! Food goes to the kitchen," he directed, taking their coats and placing them in the hall closet. Rachel followed Tina through the hallway to the kitchen where Mercedes was dumping chips into large silver bowls.

"You girls look smoking!" Mercedes exclaimed, rushing over to gather Tina's tray. Mercedes looked good as well, probably having Kurt to consult with first.

"Is there anything you need for us to do?" Rachel asked, looking around the kitchen for a job.

"Yes, could you grab the cheese ball from the fridge? There's some crackers over there on the counter too, and if you could, take them into the living room?" Mercedes said, nodding in the direction Rachel headed to.

Once she gathered the items required, she moved steadily into the living room, her heels hitting the wood floors beneath her.

"Hi Rach."

"Finn!"

Even though she wanted so badly for him to be at the party too, she didn't imagine he would actually be there. He was dressed up too, wearing a button down shirt she saw him wear once at a school dance and a matching tie, with black dress pants. His look of surprise was even to hers.

"I wasn't sure you were coming," she said slowly, moving forward to bend down and place the cheese ball and crackers down on the coffee table. Finn shook his head from his stupor and smiled.

"I didn't really want to stay at home with my mom and her new boyfriend," he answered shyly, looking down at his well worn shoes. "Kurt said you probably weren't coming," he retaliated.

Rachel shrugged, arranging the crackers like her Aunt Marie taught her. "My dads were going out and I didn't want to be home alone."

Finn stepped forward, opening his mouth to say something else when the doorbell rang again. "Finn, could you get the door?" Kurt's soprano rang out from the kitchen. With a sigh, he did as he was asked and Rachel stood still.

With Artie there, it felt like the original Glee club. Even and simple. Finn had grown closer to Kurt over the past months (no matter Kurt's true intentions) so he stuck to his side for most of the evening. Rachel tried to not pay too much attention to how much Finn's eyes seemed to scan the room for her every so often, because it only hurt a bit more.

Rachel kept busy by helping Mercedes in the kitchen by refilling bowls and making more red punch. Kurt had started music in the living room, Lady GaGa blaring from the speakers. Everyone was laughing, singing along jokingly.

"I just love GaGa," Kurt said, panting slightly. He plopped himself down at the bar, followed by Finn who stood awkwardly in the doorway. Rachel looked up and when she caught his stare, he smiled slightly.

"Yes, her music is quite… good," Rachel murmured.

"Do you want to dance?" Mercedes asked her partner in crime, holding her hand out to Kurt.

"Of course, lady friend!" Taking her by the hand, Kurt led the diva into the living room to the dance floor, leaving Finn and Rachel to their own devices.

"Only an hour left," Finn commented, coming forward to lean on the counter beside Rachel.

"Yeah, I'll have to get the sparkling grape juice from the garage fridge," she replied, trying to get away. Finn saw right through her though and held out a hand as she passed by.

"Rach, come on, you can't ignore me all night."

"I'm not ignoring you, Finn. I'm trying to help Mercedes. It's hard to be a hostess. Besides, it's giving me a lot of practice for future after parties," she rattled off but Finn shook his head.

"Why don't you come out and hang with everyone for awhile? I'm sure the girls would love you to join them in dancing. Kurt tried to get me to join, but this isn't my music," he laughed and she couldn't help but smile a little.

"I'm really not into it much, either."

Finn's eyes lit up. "Okay, well, what if I helped you in here?"

Rachel couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard. Finn hadn't been much of a help in the kitchen, unsure of how to hold a knife properly to cut up some pepperoni without harming himself, and then almost spilling punch on her new shiny dress. She wanted to believe it was nerves on his part, but figured it was something else entirely.

Besides, he was doing a great job by keeping her entertained. Once she grabbed the offending knife from his long calloused fingers, he had leaned against the counter next to her, imitating his great uncle and grandmother.

"Is it always like that?" she chuckled, taking a sip from his punch. He looked down to where her lip gloss had made a mark on the rim of the cup, still smiling from his tale of a food fight.

"Oh, me and my mom have it on a timed schedule. It's sad that it only happens on Christmas, because everyone sort of stays close to home on the other holidays," he explained.

"What about Thanksgiving?" she asked and watched him shrug, not looking at her – instead opting to look anywhere else; the floor, the ceiling, her shoes.

"It's usually just my mom and me. Which is cool," was his simple response and his earlier joy was quickly gone.

Rachel hated that it seemed to be mostly her that made this beautiful boy frown and unhappy. She decided then and there that her new year's resolution would be to only ever make him smile.

With ten minutes left before the New Year, Kurt had pulled both Rachel and Finn into the living room, holding tight to their wrists. Finn blushed when Rachel brushed against him and she tried to stop trembling.

"Oh! I forgot the grape juice!" Mercedes called, getting up from her spot on the couch.

"Change it to Dick Clark!" Tina said to Artie who then turned down the radio and flipped the TV on. Jennifer Lopez was singing and dancing in some sort of leotard that matched her skin tone. Kurt and the returning Mercedes squealed in delight.

"Oh I love me some JLO up in here!" Mercedes rang out, throwing her hips to match the music against Kurt's.

"So Rach…" Finn began, calling her attention from their dancing friends. "What's your resolution?"

Rachel searched his eyes for a moment, unsure of what to find. For the past few weeks, she had seen so many harsh realities in those brown irises. But now, she found relaxation. With a nod, she told him, "To make you happy."

Kurt pulled out some noise makers from behind the couch and passed them out while Mercedes gave each Glee member a glass of sparkling grape juice. Rachel took the offered hat and noise maker, just as Dick Clark begin to countdown from twenty. Slowly, the room followed the old man, coming closer together in the middle of the living room.

It was cramped, and because of which, Finn stood behind Rachel, still able to see the TV screen over her head. She could feel his heat behind her and she closed her eyes, those around her counting down getting louder and louder until she chimed in with 3, 2, 1.

"Happy New Year!" The kids exclaimed in unison, downing their glasses in seconds, before moving to exchange hugs. Rachel was unsure of who she was hugging at each turn because she barely had time to register what was going on. She did know when she hugged Artie for she had to bend down to his level and when she looked again, Tina was in his lap and they were kissing.

She looked at Kurt and Mercedes who were once again dancing and hugging, giving cheek kisses every so often. She smiled around her, suddenly very glad she decided to come to the party after all. Even though she was alone, it was better than being at home alone with only her Barbra Streisand DVDs to keep her company.

"Happy New Year," a timber voice said in her ear and she felt the hairs on her arms stand on end. She felt her body being turned into his large one and she fell into him gratefully. She gave herself the moment completely, breathing in his scent and feeling his heartbeat below his shirt. He seemed to do the same, folding himself over her frame, smelling her hair and caressing her lower back and hips.

"Happy New Year, Finn," she whispered into his shirt, breathing in deep once more before pulling back. His arms only let her go so far and then his mouth was on hers, once, twice then he pulled away completely.

"You want to know my resolution?" he asked rhetorically, for he knew in that moment she couldn't have spoken. "I want to make you happy."

Rachel smiled so brightly her mouth hurt. Finn didn't waste another second once receiving his answer before kissing her again, the remaining four singing quietly.

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne.

AN: What is your New Year's resolution?