Empty, a songfic by yellownotepaper
Category: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual implications
Summary: Things just aren't like they used to be. songfic drabble hp.gw, hp.hr
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its character's.
Forward: A kind of sad, emo-like story on 'Famous Last Words' by My Chemical Romance. Enjoy
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X
Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart
But where's your heart
But where's your...
X
A cool silence awaited her as she awoke, her eyelashes fluttering delicately as she surveyed the room. Empty, as usual. He always left early for work, this she knew, but she couldn't help wishing that he could just stay home for one day, and it would just be the two of them alone together.
Alone together. She smiled at the oxymoron, but it was somehow fitting of their relationship. It would just be them sometimes, together with no one else around, and she would still feel so very alone. His presence, once so comforting, had become a mere shadow of what it once was. She sat up in bed, the comforter falling to rest around her waist, her long, red hair hanging over her face.
She wanted more than what he was giving, more than he could ever give. She wanted to feel wanted, to be needed, and to want and need in return. It was a painful tug, a hollow spot in her heart that he alone could not fill.
But if not him…then who?
X
And I know
There's nothing I could say
To change that part
To change that part
To change...
X
He sighed, running a tired hand through his hair. He often thought of what she would think if he found out what he was doing, and almost always dismissed the thought. He was being so careful that it was almost impossible that she would never find out. He didn't think he could stop even if she did.
He turned over to stare at her, his green eyes dark and unreadable. A stray lock of black hair fell into his eyes, and he brushed it away impatiently, staring at her. Her eyes were closed, but he knew a gorgeous honey brown was waiting for him under her sleepy eyelashes. He lifted a hand to touch her hair, still bushy and unmanageable, and she stirred, her eyebrows knotting together.
She opened her eyes, and he smiled.
X
So many
Bright lights that cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
X
She twirled the ring on her finger idly, the huge diamond reflecting the light as it spun. She had never been big on jewellery, but he had insisted on buying it for her, even though she had much preferred the plain gold bands on the display.
Only the best for my wife, he had said as he slipped the heavy ring onto her finger, kissing it softly.
She sighed, dropping her hand onto her stomach and staring blankly out the window at the sunrise. He said that so often that she was convinced that he was trying to buy her affection. What if she didn't want the best?
All she ever wanted was slipping out of her fingers, and she found that she couldn't care less.
X
X
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
And all their souls are burning
I can't speak
He slid quietly out of bed so not to wake her, and into the bathroom. He closed the door and turned on the water, stripping quickly and stepping into the shower. He sighed audibly, closing his eyes as the hot water caressed his naked body. He had always liked the water; it was comforting, thought provoking, and gave him time to think uninterrupted.
He let out a breath, opening his emerald eyes and grabbing a bar of soap that happened to be lying on the bathtub. As he washed himself, he thought what she would say if she found him here, as he had envisioned so many horrible times before.
She would be angry and upset, he knew, which was pretty much expected. Would she be surprised? He didn't know. He certainly hadn't been as careful lately as he had been in the past.
It wasn't as if he didn't love her; he did, of course, more than he thought possible. It was more an issue of comfort; she could not fill the void in his heart that Ron had left behind, no matter how hard she tried. No one could, really, except for Ron himself. The closest option was a bushy haired witch, who had been as close to Ron as he had, and who he was now using to cheat on his wife. He wondered if Ginny would miss him if he left.
He wondered if he would miss her if she left.
X I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiving
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
X
She pulled the stopper on the bathtub, and a steady flow of warm water began pouring out of the tap. She slipped out of her dressing gown and pyjamas, running her hands over the smooth surface of her legs and up her stomach to the gentle curve of her breasts, trailing over the hollow of her neck to her lips.
She touched them thoughtfully, trying to remember the last time he had kissed her. It hadn't been the previous day, nor the day before that. She found that she couldn't remember the last time he had wanted more than physical pleasure, and it made her shudder to think of the previous night.
He had been so rough with her, completely opposite of how he acted when they had first been wed. His callused hands, once so gentle, were demanding and harsh, and she bit her lip to hold back tears. How could this happen to them? They had been the perfect couple, the envy of men and women all over England. It had been so nice, she remembered wistfully as she slid into the hot bath. To know that there would always be someone there to catch you when you fall, to make you forget your anger, or cheer you up when you were miserable. It was ironic, she thought.
All she had left now was misery.
X
Can you see
My eyes are shining bright
Cause I'm out here
On the other side
Of the jet black
Hotel mirror
X
He wondered, once again, if she would understand.
He didn't want to do this to her; she didn't deserve it, he knew this. She couldn't be a better wife to him, and he knew that he should be more thankful. But even in her close relation to Ron, she just wasn't the same. Hermione understood, he thought gratefully. But of course she would; she was in the same situation as he was. They were never meant to be more than friends – god knows that Ron and Hermione were destined since their third year, at least – but fate seemed to have made a mistake.
The night Ron had died, nearly two years ago now, they came together for the first time; the first time as more than just friends. It was a night of passion and angst, and they hadn't slept at all. It had been so different, so wrong, he couldn't bear it at times.
And yet, he kept coming back for more.
X
And I'm so weak
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
And all their souls are burning
I get weak
X
She could not count the number of times that she had begun to pack her bags to leave, her tears fresh on her face. All of those countless times, she had been so ready to leave, and then he would come in with flowers and apologies, and she would melt all over again.
She was sick of it.
She hated herself sometimes, for giving in too easily and letting him win. The old Ginny wouldn't have backed down; she would have fought and, with her temper, probably won. But that Ginny hadn't made an appearance in two years.
The old Ginny had died along with Ron.
X
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going
X
He stepped out of the shower, water dripping off of his body as he reached for his glasses. He blinked as the bathroom came into sharp focus, and grabbed a towel. He dried himself off quickly, wrapping the towel loosely around his waist before entering the bedroom again.
She was awake now, her caramel eyes focused on him. He smiled gently, stifling a yawn. Good morning, he said softly, walking over to the bedside and giving her a slow, sweet kiss. He felt her smile against his mouth. Good morning, she whispered back at him.
Little did they know that it was not to be a good morning after all.
X
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
X
She twirled a strand of her vibrant red hair between her thumb and index finger, wondering where he was right now. She wondered if he was thinking about her. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to anymore.
She looked out the window to the horizon. The sun was fully risen now; it must be around early afternoon. Hermione would be expecting her – after all, it was Thursday, and they always had lunch together due to the fact that they both had Thursdays off. She stood up and walked over to her cabinet, feeling the plush carpet in-between her toes. She was completely naked, but she didn't care anymore. Let the neighbors have a free show for once; it was probably the most exciting point in their day.
She dressed quickly, pulling on whatever her hand touched first. She pulled a brush through her slightly damp hair before smiling at her reflection, although she did not feel like smiling. A quick pop, and she had gone, leaving behind an room that was just as empty as it was before she had left.
As soon as she arrived, she wished that she hadn't come at all.
X
These bright lights are
glowing bright at me
These bright lights are
glowing bright at me
I said
X
Ginny stood on the doorstep, her face blank with shock. Her purse swung limply in her hands as she took in the scene before her. She knew that Harry was up to something; hell, she wouldn't have really been that surprised to find that he was cheating. But to be cheating with her?
Harry was kneeling beside her bed, their hands clasped together. He was clad only in a towel and an expression of absolute horror. Hermione looked as if she wasn't wearing anything; she too was staring at Ginny in terror, clutching her comforter to her chest with the hand that was not holding Harry's.
In one swift movement, Ginny had turned around and disapperated with a loud 'pop', leaving behind only the vague scent of her shampoo. Harry stared at Hermione, looking as if he did not know what to do. This was exactly as he feared; his awful thoughts were confirmed.
What made Harry's heart beat even faster in panic was that she did not seem too surprised to find him there. Had he made a mistake? Had he not been careful enough, or had Hermione slipped over their weekly luncheons? He didn't know.
She hadn't even shed a single tear.
X
I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
X
She didn't know why she hadn't seen it coming.
They needed each other, it was obvious. The loss of Ron had evidently driven them both mad with passion, passion that they used with the other. She wondered why Harry hadn't come to her instead; after all, she was Ron's sister, and his bloody wife, for Merlin's sake. But no, he went to Hermione, Ron's fucking fiancée.
She ripped her robes off of their hanger angrily, tossing them unceremoniously into her open suitcase. Maybe, after all of those times she had tried to leave…she actually would. She closed the case, closing her eyes briefly before standing. She bit her lip, and reached for the doorknob.
She didn't look back.
X
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay
I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
X
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FIN
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A:N:// I think this is the most emo-like story I've ever written, and the only one without a sort of happy-like ending, but I like it. I don't like it as much as the other songfic, but I still like it. r&r pleasey
-- erin