DISCLAIMER: Supernatural and its characters belong to…I'm pretty sure they still belong to Eric Kripke. Robert Singer, maybe? Whoever the showrunner is this season? Look, they ain't mine, ok? Yeesh.

Lyrics to "You Should Be Here" by Cole Swindell

FTW

It had been years since Eileen. Longer since Jess. The world hadn't stopped for either of them.

No matter who died, the world never stopped, regardless of how much it should.

The scars had healed. Mostly. Sometimes they still hurt.

Sam tilted his head back, feeling the cool breeze. Any other time, it would feel nice. Having his legs propped up on the bench across from his table would feel relaxing. A rare break for beer and barbecue would be great.

Any other time.

Right now, it was…incomplete.

The song coming over the serving counter's stereo only reinforced what he was feeling.

"It's one of those moments

That's got your name written all over it

And you know that if I had just one wish

It'd be that you didn't have to miss this

You should be here"

Sam had been surprised when he realized he had two women in his heart. Once, he'd thought he'd only ever be able to love one. But they both were there.

It was the only place they were anymore.

The scars had faded, but sometimes they hurt worse than any Lucifer torture ever could. He shut his eyes tight, as if maybe not seeing would mean not feeling the pain of being alive when they weren't.

You should be here.

"Who should be here?" Dean asked.

Sam hadn't realized the thought had been spoken. He blanked his face and opened his eyes to see his brother setting down their food.

"Nobody. Let's eat." With any luck, he could keep Dean off the scent. He couldn't have said why, but he didn't want Dean knowing how bad it still sometimes got for him.

Jess and Eileen were gone, there was nothing to be done about that. Sam had to ride out the loss when it flared like this. Had to keep it together, keep the wheels on. Because the world kept turning.

He knew the pattern by now. Soon, he'd see kids playing, see the sunshine, and he'd realize that was a good thing. He'd be able to see lovers walking and holding hands and not quietly seethe.

But right now, without the two of them, without Jess's laugh and Eileen's smile…fuck the world.